Advent calendar Box 21

advent calendar 21

Christmas is a miraculous time. Like the job interview, I got yesterday. I’ve never thought anyone would see my LinkedIn profile. That’s how the person who hinted at the job found me. Things like that always happen to other people. I didn’t think LinkedIn, in general, was very useful in job search. It’s for those who have a wide range of connections and had former jobs. I also don’t want to use the premium version that probably could open better options. I used the trial version but it wasn’t really for me. I don’t know how many Finnish employers actually search for future employees there. There are job offers in Finnish but much more abroad. Either way, it really is miraculous that I got a job interview in the first place. That doesn’t happen every day. I didn’t even believe it before I actually read the confirmation email that it wasn’t a dream.

If I get the job, it really will be miraculous. It’s not that I don’t think well enough of my abilities but I still doubt. When you go through life that hasn’t had much luck, you think you’ll never get anything good. As you get older, you realise things could be worse. You don’t need to live like anyone else. Have the courage to stay true to yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. I wouldn’t want to go back to the past. There are things that I could tell my younger self. But then I probably wouldn’t know what I know now. You live and learn. Learning from your mistakes is the best education you can get. I wish I would have done things earlier but it’s still not too late.

My goals have changed many times.  As a teenager, I had a feeling I needed to rush things. I wanted to do so many things before 25 and when I did turn that age, that so-called life crisis kicked in. I was so disappointed I hadn’t accomplished a thing. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. Others had a job and a family to support. I spent all my time thinking about career choices. You hear about 30’s crisis and 40’s crisis but I didn’t have any of those. Maybe I feel attracted to younger men but they just happen to be younger. Nothing to do with age crisis. When the time has passed, I don’t really want what others have. I’m totally fine to be free. I can do what I want and I don’t want to lose that. Maybe it’s selfish but so is having something just because the society expects it. I didn’t rebel when I was a teen like most do. In a way, I do it now. I like being different. People can live their life the way they want. I’ve made a choice how to live mine.

Advent calendar Box 20

advent calendar 20

Day 20 comes and I bring you good news when it comes to job search. I got a job interview! It’s in Helsinki so I need to travel for it. It could have been handled through Skype but I never used it. It’s better to meet face to face. This a great Christmas present. I don’t even mind now I didn’t get chosen to Helsinki Design School to study graphic design. A job is what I need.

I have never had a job interview in the ordinary sense. I’ve been to interviews but they’ve been for study or course. It’s easy now to be prepared but when it comes to the real thing, I might screw up. Just getting an interview is great. Even if I don’t get chosen, I can still learn from it. It’s not every day you get one. Especially if jobs in web design is limited. The job is only 7 months but that’s enough for me. Getting an interview is one thing but getting the job is another. No matter how much I prepare, it never goes the way I planned it. I might forget everything that I thought of or my answers are too short. I shouldn’t be obsessed about this. I should just go there confident. If I start to think too much, then it makes me more nervous.

Web design really is my so-called calling and I want to work with it in the future. Design in general. Getting this job interview gives me hope for 2018. This year I went through a lot but next year it really should happen something on the job front. If I won’t get it, I need another plan. But I definitely won’t give up. I’ve had enough of unemployment. When you have a job you don’t need to fight with the jobcentre and you don’t need to apply for social benefits. However, the next goal is to get through the job interview and worry about other things later.

Advent calendar Box 19

advent calendar 19

Every introvert can relate to this question. Why are you so quiet? There are reasons why we are but why do we need to explain it? Loud people don’t question themselves why they’re loud. Introverts don’t need to explain anything. People should really keep that question to themselves. We all can’t be loud, can we? Some of us need to think. The world has too much noise anyway. If someone is an introvert, let them be. There is no need to tell us.

You might just as well ask why some people wear certain clothes. Why they listen to certain music? Why some don’t care about certain things? And so on. Why is introversion such a problem for some? Even if they don’t mean to hurt your feelings, it still feels like it’s not acceptable to be quiet. When I was younger, some thought I’m quiet at home too. Well, I’m not. I have manners in public and I don’t need to be loud to feel good about myself.

Introverts don’t think they’re quiet. At least not me. I’m as loud as I can me, in my head. When someone says how quiet I am, I don’t have time to think what to reply so I don’t say anything. I don’t get upset at the person though. I usually start to think about it much later.  I have a lot of those ‘I wish I would have said that’ situations. Or like last night when I started to think about this. I have a lot of thought so if I had a conversation with someone, they couldn’t keep up. My subjects change rapidly in my head. Besides, the best conversations happen in my mind.

If someone asked me why I’m quiet, I could tell them a lot of reasons. I only talk when I have something to say. If no one asks questions I won’t say anything. Why I’m also quiet is because the subjects people talk about doesn’t interest me or I can’t relate to it. Why would I talk about something I don’t know anything about? I hate it when other people do it. If you don’t know what you’re really talking about, then you shouldn’t pretend you do. It will only make you look silly. People who really know me don’t think I’m quiet. You should really see me in my comfort zone. I’m not only an introvert but I’m also a Gemini. I’ve got two kinds of personalities. I don’t show emotion in public and when I do, it’s real.

We all should really stop categorising other people. In the end, we’re all human and we all do mistakes. You should accept introverts as much as extroverts. Not forgetting ambiverts. We should work together and not against. Why can’t we just all get along? We’re only here a short period of time and we should make the most if it, in harmony.