So here we are again. At my birthday. It’s also a birthday of Prison Break star, Wentworth Miller and actor Zachary Quinto, my birthday twin. I don’t mind having a birthday, it’s the getting older bit that is not so much fun. It means more problems. But I’m not that old though. Age is a number that doesn’t tell you the whole truth. Someone at their 20’s can be as wise as a 40-year-old. Or it can also be the other way around. Young and stupid. It really depends what you’ve been through in your life. If I hadn’t experienced the things I have, I don’t think I would be the way I am today. There are things I haven’t experienced. Like rowing a boat but I fear deep water so I wouldn’t even try it. I haven’t met the people I wanted to meet. To make things short, there is a lot I haven’t done.
Life doesn’t always go as you plan so I stopped planning because it fails anyway. If I have ideas they turn out to be bad. I take the days as they come. I don’t know what I do in 5 years since I don’t even know what I do next week. I have wishes and hopes but I don’t have enough of courage to do them. At least nothing big. Sometimes I hate being so indecisive but I don’t want to think about one thing at a time. I get bored easily so I need stimulation. I wish I was brave enough to get out of the box so to speak. Like trying entrepreneurship. If I don’t do something risky at least once in my life, I will regret it. I don’t want to rush things because then things won’t get rightly done.
So it’s my birthday today. I have never been into parties. Birthdays for me are just that. One year older. This year I baked a cake and going on a cruise with my dad. Daughter and father quality time thing, you know. That’s all the celebration I will have and then go back to normal again. And of course, eat cake. There is no birthday without it.
It’s a quote from the movie ‘V for Vendetta’ but it’s also the date of today. It’s not only that but it’s also All Saint’s Day and in other places Guy Fawkes Night. Those are totally different though. Here we remember people who have passed away. People go the cemetery to put candles on the graves. We usually do it at Christmas so we don’t do it now. There’s only been death in our family it seems. We don’t have much contact with other relatives anymore. They can be a pain sometimes so I don’t really care either. Why keep in touch with people who doesn’t bother keep in touch with us? We’re better off and it’s not a hyperbole.
Christmases are not the same anymore because there’s only me and my dad left. We always spent the holidays with our closest family members. I had a great childhood. I never knew my grandfathers since they passed away when my parents were young. I had a close bond with both of my grandmothers. They were always there when you needed them. I can’t understand why some people doesn’t have any contact with their grandparents. You can teach your kids to respect elders and you also get great memories. I’ll cherish every moment I had with them. Nothing lasts forever but memories will never die.
On this All Saint’s Day, I light a candle for my sister, my mother and grandmothers. Family has always been very important to me. They’re the ones who you feel most secure with. You can have a family of your own but they’re not the people your birth family was. There will never be another person like them. If I was born again, I wouldn’t change a thing when it comes to family. I wished they could have stayed a little longer on this earth but those are things you can’t control.
Remembering family members on the 5th of November.