I did it my way but am I good enough

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Today I graduated from Helsinki Design School in photography. 10 months achievements and this is the proof. Whatever is gonna happen, I did at least something instead of just staying at home and do nothing. I might not become a pro but at least I’ve learned new stuff. That’s what life is about.

Even though we had great teachers who are pro’s, it doesn’t mean I’ve learned to become a better photographer. This diploma might not help to get me a job. There were much better photographers than me. I’m not ever sure I want to become one. I thought I was passionate about photography but during this school I realised, maybe I’m not good enough to do this for a living. Maybe I should just stick being an amateur.

I’m a little disappointed with this school. I didn’t get any motivation from the teachers. I never got the answer if I have what it takes. I also feel it was too Helsinki orientated. For example where you can find internships. Not where I live. It’s a no everywhere. It’s not really motivating when you can’t get any. It was also a lot about studio photography which was indeed interesting but that’s something I don’t want to do. I thought I would become more excited about photography but it was the opposite. Something was missing but I don’t know what it is. Still it was worth the money spent.

All in all. I’m glad I applied for this education and got in. I met some nice people. Unfortunately, I probably won’t see them again. That’s something I don’t cry about. They were just a ship passing by. At least I don’t have to wake up early to travel to Helsinki anymore. Time to enjoy this ‘great’ achievement. Let’s worry about the future tomorrow.

 

It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to

miabirthday15
My birthday is today. This is my cake I made myself

Ah, birthdays. You hate them or you love them. For me it only means I’m one year older. Getting older is not the problem. That’s natural. What I don’t like about it, is how little I have achieved so far. I haven’t even had a real job. Even getting an internship is difficult. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Luck hasn’t really been on my side. Getting somewhere, you need some luck. I don’t belive you can make your own. Only people say that who have achieved something.
There’s a lot of people that come from nothing and then they become famous or millionares. But they have some luck too. They’ve also known how to get out of that hole.

The saying goes. If your unlucky in cards. You’re lucky in love. But I’ve no luck in either of them. But I’m not that old. I still have time for anything. I just need to pick up the courage and not be such a coward. If it only was that easy.

Happy birthday to me anyway.