Listening to the voices in my head

MiaLeave a comment

Can’t Stand Me

When I read the daily post subject of today I thought it was about what you dislike about yourself. But when I saw it’s about what’s worse, hearing your own voice or seeing yourself on video, it’s almost right.
I would say my voice. It’s OK when I talk and record my voice but when I hear it in something else, then it’s horrible. I heard my voice on the radio once when I won a competition and I sounded like my mother. That’s the least thing you want to sound like. When I answered a phone, the person on the other end thought I was her. It was not the sound of her voice, the problem was I sounded like her. Like twins. I wanted a voice of my own. Sometimes I hate my voice. I can barely listen to myself when I’m at my worse.

It’s not that unbearable when it comes to seeing myself on video. I was on TV once and I wasn’t as horrified as when I see myself on photos. That’s even worse. That’s a reason I don’t post selfies and photos where you can see me. I prefer being behind the camera. I’m just not that photogenic. When I see myself in photos as an adult, the voice in my head says, ugly. It was different when I was a kid. I was cute then. I don’t know what happened. Adding a photo of myself to a CV terrifies me. I avoid every single photo of me as much as I can. I rather let people see me in real life than in photos or videos.

My memory of David Bowie

MiaLeave a comment
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BAThUfpMw-o/
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BAThUfpMw-o/

Our Star Man has left the earth. But when you have to go you have to go. As someone who has lost a loved one to cancer, I know how it feels to hear someone getting a death sentence without even doing any crime. Cancer is a personal thing. I can understand why Bowie kept it a secret to the public. It must be devastating to his closest family. Especially Iman, his wife. Not forgetting his children. Even if they’re adults the sorrow won’t be different. First knowing the decease is around and secondly knowing there’s nothing more to do when it’s taking over one’s life.

The difference with his death is that he was a public figure, a loveable person and artist. His death is sad even for those that weren’t fans. Some take it harder than others. Even more for those who met him personally.
For me it was a surprise. I’ve heard about his health issues before but never guessed it would be this serious. It was kind of shock but in a way expected. I wasn’t a fan but still he was one of my favorites artists. I like so many so you can’t be a fan of everyone. The first video I saw was ‘Let’s dance’ on cable in the 80’s. Another was “China girl” I’ve mostly heard his hits but not so much else. Not gorgetting those duets with Mick Jagger or Pet shop boy. It’s never too late to start listening.

While writing this I’m listening his music. I was supposed to listen to his last ever album ‘Blackstar’ when it came out but I only managed to hear it yesterday. Even if he was ill, he still manage to make a great album. But that’s Bowie for you. Really cared for his fans. Everything he did was awesome. I haven’t watched movies he was in except ‘The Prestige’ but in that he was great. Without him the music business wouldn’t be the same. We wouldn’t have a band like ‘Duran Duran’ for example. They recorded some of Bowie’s music like ‘Fame’ and ‘Boys keep swinging’ He was an inspiration to many more.

He made a deep impact on a lot of people. He was one of the great legends. Not just musically but also in other crafts. His legacy will never die. He is and always be our ‘Heroes’