To be or not to be, that is the question

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people on crossroad
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That’s all the Shakespeare I know. Life is full of questions. Besides the question, what the hell did Shakespeare talk about. One of them is what to do for a living. I don’t know why some find it easily, but for some, it takes years. I thought I had found it, but now it doesn’t feel right either. I’m just not ambitious enough, and I don’t have dreams to fulfil. At least something I don’t have the courage to do. Maybe my destiny is to be unemployed. I thought about entrepreneurship, but I haven’t thought about it for a while. I don’t think I’m good enough, and there is so much work. Maybe it isn’t for me after all. Marketing yourself and finding clients. I thought of trying to find a job somewhere else.

I’ve tried to search for something to apply for, but there isn’t much. If there is, I don’t have enough experience. They say you should try anyway, but writing applications are too difficult to write, so I don’t want to bother. It feels waste of energy to do something I know I won’t get. I’m not an expert on any programs, but who is because you can always learn more. Calling myself a professional doesn’t feel right. I feel more like an amateur. In design, a portfolio of your best work is important, but mine isn’t any good. I don’t get an internship because I’m too old. They only take students and young people. It’s a bit embarrassing to ask to be an intern at my age. I don’t have anything to offer them anyway.

Maybe I should only study something instead. Even if it won’t get me a job. I would at least have something to do. I’ve thought about marketing, but we’ll see about that. This post might sound pessimistic, but these are only questions I’m thinking about. To be or not to be, that is the question, like in Shakespeare’s play ‘Hamlet.’ Mine are only different kind.

Look over here

Mia5 Comments
over here sign
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I got my driver’s license card in the post last week. Now I feel like a real driver. I’ve driven my dad’s car a couple of times, and it’s different since it’s an older car. The first drive was to the car wash. It was a little scary to drive to the machine. Car wash machines have always been scary to me. When I was a kid, I waited outside. The big brushes scared me. Dad was with me. I don’t dare to drive the car alone until I learn to drive it. I’m glad the driving lessons and the driving test is over. I was too worried to make mistakes, so it was more nerve-wracking. The real driving starts now. I should drive a little every day, but I never seem to have the time. All that matter right now is that I have achieved something this year. It’s not over yet, though. The UX/UI design course is over soon. I only have one more video meeting left.

When one thing is over, there should be something else. But I don’t know what. It’s been so hot, so I haven’t had the strength to think about it that much. Summer is still on, so I don’t feel like thinking about what to do in the Autumn.

Break the silence or put on the brake

Mia2 Comments
red and green traffic lights
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Maybe it’s the hot summer or because I don’t get many likes with newer posts, but blogging isn’t the way it used to be. I don’t know if if I should break the silence or put on the brake with the whole thing. There are days I think I might write something, but other times I think why I should bother. It isn’t only blogging but writing in general. It feels like all that writing work are a waste of energy when it doesn’t get many likes. I don’t only write for myself. I also want others to read them. I wouldn’t put them online if I didn’t. It goes with blogging and posting fiction, also with social media. Sharing is caring, after all. I could just write things down on paper or private blog. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t post things only to get likes. Internet is a big place, and you never know if anyone actually reads or looks at what you post. They might only click on like by mistake.

I haven’t found a cure for cancer or any other great achievement, but I wish my posts would have more likes after nine years. At least older posts get likes from time to time. Sometimes it feels I’m only starting with blogging. I didn’t expect my blog would attract the same kind of attention as some other blogs do. My life is boring, so I have nothing existing to share. Getting likes or not is not the issue. I don’t know what to write in this blog anymore. Maybe I just need to put on the brake and have a break from blogging a while. Summer is a time when people are outside, so they don’t have time to read blogs. Especially when it’s hot, I’m too tired to think about anything important. When the hot weather stops, I might continue blogging. But you never know, I might still do it. I never know when inspiration strikes.