To be or not to be, that is the question

people on crossroad
Photo by Henry & Co. on Pexels.com

That’s all the Shakespeare I know. Life is full of questions. Besides the question, what the hell did Shakespeare talk about. One of them is what to do for a living. I don’t know why some find it easily, but for some, it takes years. I thought I had found it, but now it doesn’t feel right either. I’m just not ambitious enough, and I don’t have dreams to fulfil. At least something I don’t have the courage to do. Maybe my destiny is to be unemployed. I thought about entrepreneurship, but I haven’t thought about it for a while. I don’t think I’m good enough, and there is so much work. Maybe it isn’t for me after all. Marketing yourself and finding clients. I thought of trying to find a job somewhere else.

I’ve tried to search for something to apply for, but there isn’t much. If there is, I don’t have enough experience. They say you should try anyway, but writing applications are too difficult to write, so I don’t want to bother. It feels waste of energy to do something I know I won’t get. I’m not an expert on any programs, but who is because you can always learn more. Calling myself a professional doesn’t feel right. I feel more like an amateur. In design, a portfolio of your best work is important, but mine isn’t any good. I don’t get an internship because I’m too old. They only take students and young people. It’s a bit embarrassing to ask to be an intern at my age. I don’t have anything to offer them anyway.

Maybe I should only study something instead. Even if it won’t get me a job. I would at least have something to do. I’ve thought about marketing, but we’ll see about that. This post might sound pessimistic, but these are only questions I’m thinking about. To be or not to be, that is the question, like in Shakespeare’s play ‘Hamlet.’ Mine are only different kind.

I know you're there. Why do you linger in the shadows?

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