Sometimes I hate it when I’m too slow. Especially when it comes to making decisions. Even getting up early in the morning is slow. The bed feels so comfy, and of course, I go to bed so late. I don’t have any reason to get up early, so maybe that’s the reason why I sleep late too. I’m not a morning person anyway. The only fast movement I have is neither walking nor cycling. Other times it’s just slow.
Every day I think I’ll wake up early and do things. But when it comes to it, I don’t do any of it. I’ve thought about starting something on my own in my professional life, but I still haven’t done much. It’s been 4 years since my web design education. It’s been two years since the graphic design in Helsinki Design School, and about 3 years since the course about entrepreneurship. I bet all those former classmates had done something during these years. They have probably become even better at their job because they have had a chance to practice. Before I wake up, half the day has gone. I have no motivation to make up my own projects. I’m not even sure what kind of creative work I want to do. Every graphic designer does the same things. I mean, how many graphic designers do, e.g. branding and identity for small and big business? Looking at what graphic designer do, in the end, it’s all the same. They’re only much better than me. People probably would say this about my designs, “even I could do that” That’s what one said about my photography once. Why pay for the service when you can do it for free yourself. I don’t even know what my style is. Nothing special doesn’t sell. I feel like crap when I see people’s work on Instagram who studied or studying at Helsinki Design School. My ideas just aren’t good enough.
A slow movement is better than being rushed. If you’re doing things fast, the result might be bad. I don’t know why people must be in a hurry in the first place. You shouldn’t stress about things, because then no one enjoying themselves. I don’t like waiting, but you don’t need to be in a hurry either. If things happen or don’t happen, it shouldn’t be the end of the world. Maybe I’m just a laid-back person, and these things don’t stress me as much as it might be with someone else. It can worry me for a while, but I get over it after a moment. See, what I wrote earlier in this post, I’m already over it 😉
You read it right. I am now going to driving school. I didn’t need to start all over, though. I only need to go to the risk recognition training program. It’s online. Then I need to take the theory test. When I pass that, it’s driving in a simulator and then with a real car. Then it’s only the driving test left. Soon I can drive your car. Sounds easy but it’s not really. I have to pass the tests too and I don’t know if I do them on the first try. 26 years ago I had to take the theory test at least 10 times, and the driver’s test 3 times. It was different then. It was all done on paper and the driving lessons were only with a real car. We also had a book to read. The driving school was also in two parts. Now it’s only one. You had to sit on a bench (a chair more like it) in a class and listen to the teacher. Now you can study in your own time. There are 4 hours of theory, 2 hours of driving in a simulator and 2 hours with a real car. I’ve now done 3 theory lessons. Before driving, I need to pass the theory test. Fortunately, you can test your knowledge online before going to the real test. I’ve tested it once and I got 66% right. That’s far from passing a test. In multiple-choice questions, you need 11/15, the picture questions 43/50 and risk recognition 4/5. The driving test is not as nerve-wracking as the theory test, because I’ve done it before so I know what to expect.
There is a lot of driver’s who thinks they own every road. They break rules and they think they’re racing drivers. Being someone who has seen the other side of the road, so to speak. The one’s who use public transport, cyclists and pedestrians. I know what kind of driver I don’t want to be. I can see things from their perspective. I’m an ideal driver. I don’t drink, do drugs, I’m not a risk-taker and selfless. I also don’t use my mobile while driving either.
When I get my license, I don’t need to buy a car. I can use my dad’s. He’s not allowed to drive anymore. He’s given me lifts all my life, so now it’s my turn to return the favour.
Today British actor Tom Hiddleston turns the big 40. It feels a bit weird that someone you don’t know personally is in the same age as you. Well, I’m still older, though. I turn 44 in June. When I turned 40, I thought, wasn’t I just 35. At 40, you realise how fast the time has gone. You have a history behind you, but also a future in front of you. My 40s is different from he’s 40. For one, he’s male and a famous actor. Actually, anyone else in their 40s has more experience than me. In everything in life. So age doesn’t really matter. It’s just that when a woman is 40, they’re old. But when a man is 40, it’s no big deal. You hear men get better with age. But you never hear that about women. It’s better to be a woman though because, well, you get to like men like Tom. Someone like me will never get someone like him though. Life is like high school where the popular person wouldn’t look at the shy and ‘ugly’ one that way.
Getting older is not always a good thing. Especially when you’re a woman, and you’re single without a job. Other people probably wonder why. Maybe there is something wrong with you. Well, no one is perfect. Even those who you think are, but everyone does have flaws. If you’re famous or just an ordinary person. When you’re young, you don’t think about age. Not until you become older. Age seems to be a problem for some people. You’re either too young or too old. The older you get, the less you care what others think. Answering the question, maybe there is something wrong with you. Yes, there is. I don’t have enough job experience, and I have never been popular among boys/men. But I don’t really see that as a problem. There are a lot of things I missed, but you can’t go back. You can’t miss something you never had. There is just so much more in life than trying to impress other people. Some people have goals to have a family one day, but it’s not my life. Other people’s personal lives are no concern of mine. Even famous ones. I have other things to think about. If I kept thinking about other things than my own life, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else. I don’t like drama. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I can’t even say to a person when they act wrongly without shaking inside.
That was enough about me.
Welcome Tom Hiddleston to the 40s club. I still love you no matter what age 😉 Have some cake 🙂