The past changes the future

Photo: ©Isaque Pereira/Pexels

Sometimes it’s better to be straight than being dishonest. It might hurt, but it’s better than be walked over. I wish I would have been braver when I was younger. There were certain people I wished I could have told where to get off. Like that guy in one school where I went to who asked me if I had been in a horror movie. I could have asked him the same. He wasn’t that special either. He was an idiot, and he wasn’t the only one. But that’s the past, and I have met better people than him after that.

It’s kind of funny now when my former schoolmates in primary school didn’t give a damn about me. In the gym, I was always picked up last even if I was good at it. Unlike that “bully” who was bad at it. She was probably jealous. Hard cheese. She probably never even had spots. I have never met them after I changed class in 7th grade. I was glad I got rid of them. I don’t care how they are doing in life. It’s no concern of mine. The class I was at from 1st grade to 4th was much better. If I wasn’t forced to stay at 4th grade for another year, then I probably wouldn’t have needed to go through this ‘bullying’ stage. In the 1st class, you had more than one friend. If one friend was ill, you always had another friend to be with. The atmosphere was very good there. Next time I had that feeling was when I studied media playwriting in 2002-2003.

In a way, past experiences have put me off friendships and even relationships. I don’t like that kind of drama people cause. I have met a lot of different people, but I don’t call them friends. They are more like acquaintances. Or people only walking by and then move on. I don’t believe being alone is bad for you. For me, it suits me very well. I don’t need a lot of people around, and I’ve never had. I can’t understand how someone can have more than 5 friends. It would be too exhausting for my taste. I’m not that depended on other people. When I was a kid, a girl had only one friend, but boys had more than one. Heaven forbid if you wanted to tag along with those other two girls, they looked at you like you were an alien. You knew by their look that you weren’t wanted. At least that’s what I have experienced.

The past shapes your future. For the better or for, the worse. If I hadn’t experienced what I have during my life, things would probably be different. You can’t change the past, but you can make your future better. If you can’t let your past go, you can’t move on because that’s what life should be, moving on. It’s really about your attitude towards the things you have experienced. You can either dwell on how you should have handled the situation or become stronger and stop caring what other’s might think of you. It’s your life and you can do anything you feel without having to ask for permission about how to be. The best revenge is not caring and moving on by doing what’s good for you.

End of the year post

Photo by Henri Mathieu-Saint-Laurent on

So here we are, the end of the year 2020. Finally, some think. All the bad things aside. There have been good things too. That’s something you can forget when things are bad. I can only speak for myself and what has happened to me.

My year has been good to me. I got a job and I got paid for it. I was then laid off because of the covid restrictions. But then I got back to work. They were experiences I haven’t had before. Getting paid and being laid off. I got those at once. I didn’t suffer from either of them.

In blogging, I got over 1K viewers from March to May. I also got more followers. I don’t know how many since I can’t find stats about that. This is my 7th full blogging year. I haven’t blogged as often as I used to but that just shows I’ve been busy with life. I still got more visitors and viewers than I had before. So it’s not about quantity but about quality.

I also bought a new laptop. I’ve changed from Windows to Mac (MacBook Pro) Then I also bought a new mobile. An iPhone (Apple SE 2020) which goes well with the Mac. Not only that but I also bought a drawing tablet. It’s easier to draw with a pen than a mouse.

When we get to 2021 no one ones what new will happen. I don’t usually plan what I’ll do because it has been proved this year, plans change. No one knows how long this covid will last and will the vaccines work. Next year can become a satire or it can get better. One thing that won’t change is me writing this blog. So thank you all for finding this blog and have a happier new 2021. See you next year.

All you need is now

Made in Canva

I’m a master of putting thing off for tomorrow. That’s one of the reasons why I’m always far behind others. But why should I need to hurry? All you need is now and not what might come in the future. I rather do things later. People who stress about things have no joy in life. I never liked doing things in a hurry. It only gets me irritated. I like taking my time. If I don’t get things done then I don’t. I don’t stress about it.

A lot of people stress about Christmas. I’m not really into doing all that food and stuff like that. This year I have to stay at home. There is no Christmas cruise this time. At least not for a longer period of time. When mother was alive we used to make Christmas together. It’s not the same anymore. Even when she was around, we took the cruise because it was easier. This year it’s the first time in years, we’re home at Christmas. I haven’t even put the decorations up yet. We haven’t had a real tree in years. A small plastic tree from my grandmother is enough. Even if we were on a cruise, we still had decorations up. It feels more like Christmas then. It’s just those 3 days and then the New Year fuss begins again. Even that is different this year. There won’t be fireworks in the city. Only people who bought them. I don’t care much about that. They should ban the whole thing. Too much noise anyway.

I have put off job search for this year too. There is no joy in that. I want to do things I feel joy from and that is not it. I have had other things on my mind. One of them is helping dad at his home. He now walks with a walker and he got some exercise things to do. But maybe he’s trying to procrastinate for doing them. He will never get better if he doesn’t do them regularly. It’s not just his right hip but also his left side shoulder. I really hope he won’t keep falling over next year because it costs money to be ill. His legs are not the way they used to because of type 2 diabetes. He’s a former athlete but I guess you get lazy when you get older when it comes to exercise. Of course, now it’s much more difficult since he can’t walk the same way as before. Hell, even I don’t exercise enough recently and I’m totally healthy. Walking and cycling is my kind of exercise. I have put off with long-distances. The weather hasn’t been very pleasant recently.

I have been putting off blogging this month too. It’s probably gonna be the quietest month this year. I just haven’t had the time and joy to write anything. I have even put off writing fan fiction. I can get those things done next year because, well, there is always next year. In case I don’t blog this year anymore. Have a happy Christmas and a better 2021.