Why do I even bother?

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Source: https://are-you-for-serial.tumblr.com/post/123562914844/can-i-get-some-of-those-united-nations-headphones

Got another rejection in the job search. “We have looked at your application but you’re not the one we’re looking for” Not exactly those words but close. I don’t know why I bother applying for jobs. Why should I strain myself with writing applications? It doesn’t matter what I write, I still get nothing. I can’t understand how people waste their time writing hundreds of applications. It’s a waste of time and energy. No wonder people get depressed. Being rejected by anyone is not nice. I rather use my time doing other things than writing applications that only makes my head spin. I don’t even think I study new things to get a job anymore. I study for my own amusement because what else can I do. Job search is like dating. People say “you’ll find someone too” which is the same “you’ll find a job too” I wouldn’t hold my breath I would say to both.

It seems I won’t get a job as a web designer and I won’t get a job in graphic design. Open positions don’t show up every day in that field. I wonder how someone gets hired who have no common sense. Or people who can’t park their cars, bike, electric kick scooters or any other vehicle in the right place or between the lines in a parking lot. Or they can’t close the gate or door behind them. It’s usually people who are incapable of doing daily things by themselves. Maybe they’re just good at lying in job interviews or any other skill to get hired. You either need to be very lucky or be a fake person to get a job. At least in this country. Especially if you’re an introvert with no job experience in your field, you’re officially in the rejection pile. And you have gaps in your work experience. If I was mentally weak, I would too have difficulties to cope with my joblessness. Getting another rejection letter (email in this case) just bounces off my shoulders. I knew I wouldn’t get chosen for the next step anyway so I’m not that surprised. They were probably looking for someone in their 20’s who have just graduated from school. Not someone who’s over 40 who just have graduated from an education. Just as well. I rather move on. I wouldn’t have been up to the job anyway.

I don’t fit in any company. I have the personality of a toilet brush, for starters. Joke aside. I’m a loner who’s not very good company when it comes to being social with a co-worker. That’s what employers are looking for mostly. A person who socialise but at the same time have skills of a superhuman. Who’s living in a dream world, huh? People with jobs have no real idea of how it is to be unemployed. Unless they’ve been one themselves. These days you can’t just go to a company and you get hired right there and then. That’s not how it works. Before judging the unemployed, people should look at the bigger picture. Telling someone to get a job doesn’t help at all. It’s so easy to blame the unemployed when there is much else to it. I have no personal experiences of negative comments but I’ve read a lot of those on the Internet. I feel really annoyed for them who has to hear it constantly. Some people can’t even do any job. They have allergies or other physical problems. Like people with jobs, all unemployed are different.

If people want to write job applications for any job, then so be it. But I only apply for a job I’ve studied. Call me picky but I call it having standards. I see no point using my energy to search for a job I know I’m not qualified for. The quality is more important than quantity when it comes to job search. You only get stressed if you’re forced to look for any job. Job search is unfair. People with connections have a better chance to get a job than someone who hasn’t. It shouldn’t be that way but that’s how it works. Apparently, you can find connections but I don’t know how that really works. I think it’s awkward to get in touch with a person you never even met. This thing about branding yourself to get your dream job is unnatural. Since when have humans become products? If you have your own business, then branding is good but in a job search, I think not. Then only the young and the beautiful will get a job. Why do I even bother with this whole job search thing? It’s too complex when it shouldn’t. I better just be unemployed for the rest of my life. But that’s a destiny I’m not gonna accept.

What a job mentor has given me

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A job mentor is someone who helps you with job search and with resumes. You also call them career mentors. As an unemployed, you get to go to different job search courses and you can also get a personal mentor if you like. How fun and you get closer to that job you want. buzzer Wrong, you only get something to do during the day. Maybe you get tips about job search but it won’t help you get a job. It gives the mentor a job. Maybe someone has succeeded to find a job by using these mentors but usually, they’re a waste of time. I should know. I’m been in a lot of different job search courses. But I’m not bitter. There has been something positive too. So this is what a job mentor has given me.

I’ve had two different mentors. One was twice. The first one was in 2008 or 2009. I didn’t have any examination at the time. We searched for internships but we didn’t find anything. Photography was very important to me at the time. The mentor suggested if I would apply for education instead. I was reluctant at first because I didn’t want to study for too many years. She (the mentor) found an education where photography wasn’t the main thing but it had it. It was a 2-year education. It felt really long but after thinking about it, I decided to apply for it. It was an undergraduate degree in visual expression. It was a basic graphic design and it also had photography. Before I applied I went to that school for a week to see how it was to study there. I think that helped me to get in. So after two years, I graduated. When I think back, I wish I would have continued with graphic design after that. I would have much more experience now. Photography was just so stuck in my mind so I didn’t think about any other options. You live and learn.

The second mentor really tried to help to find me at least an internship but again, no one wanted to take an intern. We looked on the internet about different companies and contacted them. Or the mentor did because I hate calling. Either way, no chance anywhere. It’s not the mentor’s fault companies doesn’t want to give a chance. They only want people with job experiences and not someone they think they have to babysit. The only achievement I got from this mentor was an internship in one of my local newspaper as a photographer. But it was only 2 weeks which was ridiculous. That’s actually my last internship so far. At least I got some of my photos published. I had this mentor twice because the jobcentre suggested it. I don’t find this kind of services useful when it comes to job search. In some things, they can be useful but it hasn’t helped my case that much. The same with job search courses where other people attend.

And boy, have I been on those courses. I’ve been to career coaching and job search training. You can find all kinds of tips online and study it by yourself. In the end, it still won’t get you a job. There are too many unemployees and not enough jobs. You need job experience in your resume. It doesn’t mean what you’ve studied. Then you also need to be good at job interviews. Job search is just so complicated so no wonder people get depressed. Nothing is never good enough. My good results from these mentors and courses are two educations. Latest was the web design course in 2016-2017. All of these have been my choices and that’s how it should be. I’ve done at least something and not just be. Many people have been on job search courses and had mentors but felt disappointed. They only think about the negative. I try to find something good about it. Some things wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t attended any of those courses. It didn’t help to get me a job but at least I’ve grown as a person. Maybe that will pay off one day.

Trying no to flare up about misfortunes

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Life is full of disappointments, I once wrote on this blog. I try not to flare up when it comes to misfortunes. But sometimes you need to rant about it. I didn’t get the internship that I went for an interview. At least I don’t think so because they never did inform me. They could have at least bothered to tell me. I can’t understand why employers can’t tell the applicants about the results. A no is better than no answer at all. Since there was no reply last week I assume it’s a lost cause. Just as well. The other interns were much younger than me. It wasn’t even a paid job. But that would have been better than nothing. Well, their loss. Looking on the bright side, I can concentrate on my school assignments. It still blows I didn’t get the internship though. It seems I can’t even get free work. It feels like all the educations I’ve had is all unnecessary. I don’t know why I even bother studying anything. I should get work experience but no one gives you a chance. That’s a problem for the young and the older job seekers.

You’re either too young or too old. Even someone over 40 is old for most employers. What are they worried about? They don’t want to babysit or boss their mothers? Job search is a pain and it gets worse the longer you are unemployed. All this propaganda about how to find work doesn’t help. People can give you millions of advice but none of them will help your cause. The job search has become a competition. Is not what kind of education you have, it’s about who you know. It helps if you’re an outgoing and a-happy-go-lucky-really- social person. If you’re not, then there are troubles ahead. After so many disappointments you lose hope of finding any work. You start to think there is something wrong about you. But it isn’t. It’s the job search that is rotten. Employers are too afraid to take risks. It frustrates me when these 30 years something praise how they got a job after a job search in 6 months. That’s nothing, try 10 or more years and then praise it. It’s so easy to brag about your good luck when others struggle for years.

I’ve been to these job search and resume courses but none of them has helped to find me a job. The only thing I got was something to do and once I found an education I applied to (it was the web design education) That didn’t help either to get a job. There is no point applying for any job because I’m gonna get rejected anyway. If I can’t even get this internship without pay, then how can I get a paid one. I’m actually so fed up with this all. I know I should think positive but it’s hard since nothing ever happens. I could just go to sleep and pray for death. Not really though. In a way, I understand people who don’t even want to look for a job. Job search is hard and you get emotionally drained about the whole process. But I wouldn’t want to live all my life on social benefits. My parent taught me better than that. If I had the courage I would become an entrepreneur at this instant but that has its disadvantages too. Feeling unwanted is one of the worst feelings but you just have to continue living. At least I have other things to do. Or else this unemployment would take harder to bear.