So back to work on Monday won’t happen. Now it’s pushed back to August 2. Oh, well at least I don’t have to go anywhere. There is no summer holiday after all. Only ‘holiday’ as usual. How things change, from a circle to a spiral. The circle being the straightforward thing. While the spiral is not knowing where to go or do. Nothing new will happen. Things will be the same as they always been before I had this part-time job. I won’t get any job experience. A lot of people have needed to change things because of the coronavirus. At least I’m financially secured so I have no problems with that. Now I can concentrate on things I usually do. I don’t get paid for it though. Right now it’s good to live in Finland. The coronavirus here hasn’t been as powerful as in other countries. Even the restaurants and other places are being opened next week. I fear there will be more sick people after they open them. We can only hope this virus won’t be around forever.
I have always had trouble concentrating on one thing at the time. Even if I hear a sound elsewhere, I get distracted for a while. I also have different thoughts in my head. It feels like a spiral in my mind. I can have one thought and then it changes to something else. It’s like my brain has ADHD. I have a mild ADD (never officially tested) but I don’t know if that’s the only reason. Even when I write this blog I get distracted. I could write one thing and then the subject would change to something else. I do try to stay on the subject though. My mind is mostly more spiral than a circle. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I have a vivid imagination. I have a knack of making up stories, a.k.a. fiction. Sometimes I get totally in the story and forget the time. Then other times I get nothing and I get no ideas. When I do, it’s back to the spiral mind. If I didn’t, I would get bored very quickly. Days just fly by even if the days are the same because I still get things done. It might look like I don’t do anything but my mind works all the time. If that was a job I would probably have more money than I do now. I never let myself get bored and it doesn’t matter if I am because a mind needs to be in a circle once in a while.
Experiencing a death in the family at a very young age has made me more resilient to the downside of life. Also, other bad experiences in my life have given me more resilience. I’ve always had my own mind and done things my way and in my own time. Sometimes maybe I’ve been too stubborn in certain things. I’ve also given up things too easily. I guess when you get older you get more resilient because life teaches you and it makes you look at things differently. If you don’t grow you get stuck in the past.
People who haven’t experienced bad things before probably take them harder than those who have. If you haven’t then you don’t know how it feels. Even if you have you can only imagine how it feels. People take negativity differently. Life isn’t easy so you shouldn’t take it for granted. When I was younger I felt lucky that I had both of my parents around. Classmates parents died or divorced. I could sympathise with them but I was glad I didn’t have to go through it myself. I could never have imagined at the time that I had to go through the same sorrow years later. Death is part of life and when you experience it in the family you get more resilient. You move on because your life doesn’t stop. The person who died wants you to move on. You never get over their death because they will always be a part of you. You can think about them from time to time and maybe imagine how life would be if they were still around. And maybe cry when you feel down. When you start to think about your life, you don’t think about sorrow. If you can’t get over bad experiences, you can’t move on and then you’re life has been wasted. What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient.
For some unemployment is like death and they feel ashamed. Being rejected a lot can break one’s spirit. But for me, it has just got me more resilient. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. You know yourself better than anybody. If other people think there must be something wrong with you if you can’t find a job, it’s really their problem and not yours. I think the reason people feel ashamed about being unemployed is that they think too much about what others think. If you stop caring about that you feel much better about it. Maybe I’m just stronger mentally so I don’t stress about that. It’s easier said than done but I can only speak for myself. There are times when I still struggle but I get over it after a while. You shouldn’t dwell on things that aren’t your fault. Life is full of disappointment but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Too many rely on someone else’s opinions or views. You should live your life for yourself and those close to you. There will always be people who think they know the answer to everything. I would just say, talk to the hand because I’m not listening.
Resilience doesn’t happen overnight. It happens in time. Some might be born with it but experiences can mould you to it. That’s what happened to me. If I hadn’t gone through the bad times, I could be a different person now. I think things happen for a reason. I could have drowned in my own sorrows and feel sorry for myself but I didn’t. You fall but get up again. The setbacks have only made me more resilient and that’s what you need to keep sane in this world. It will never be perfect so why fight against it. You should take life as it comes because one day it’s your turn to leave.
So annoying when you don’t know how to start things
So annoying when people only think about themselves
So annoying when people litter instead of putting it in their pockets
So annoying when smokers spoil your air when you’re outside
So annoying when people with lots of money don’t share their wealth
So annoying when some think all unemployed don’t want a job
So annoying seeing selfies everywhere and even celebs do it
So annoying when politicians don’t understand the life of the common person
So annoying when most TV shows are crap
So annoying when you can’t find a job even if you’re studied
So annoying when people talk loud in the stair in your building
So annoying there are too many commercials on TV and radio
So annoying when some people think the only way to have fun is to get drunk
So annoying when there is still racism in the world
So annoying when certain people think global warming isn’t real
So annoying when young people use drugs even if they know it’s bad
So annoying when parents don’t know how to raise their kids
So annoying when some people with dogs don’t pick up the ‘stuff’ on the street
So annoying when your favourite sports team lose a match
So annoying students have loud parties in their flats
So annoying when people don’t follow house rules
So annoying when your neighbour bangs their front door no matter what the time is
So annoying when Sundays are not sacred anymore
It’s better if you use your energy to things that aren’t annoying to you instead