The fungus of something

mold
Made in Canva

When I thought about fungus I thought about fungus in your feet. Not the one you can eat.  I don’t like them anyway. In a way, a lot of things in this world is a fungus infection. A sickness that makes the world go crazy. Not just people but things in life. Adults get mad at teens worrying about climate change. Even neighbours in the place you live are one kind of fungus infection. Those who don’t care about anything but themselves. Having loud parties or bullying with their smoking or instrument playing. Violence against other people and so on. If you just stand by and watch it all, you’re part of the problem. Thinking you can’t do anything about certain things is just laziness. If there’s a will there’s a way. Especially if it’s about climate change. In some things, it’s also about attitude.

Many people have this belief what they see is what they get. But looks can deceive. Recently there’s been talk about how young people are not satisfied with the way they look. Some have a certain look and people see them as weird. I’ve had the same problem when I was younger. Then there weren’t any Instagram and all those things. Then it was people in school who judged you. It’s no wonder people get depressed these days with all these beauty standards. It’s so much about appearance. Things are not what they seem so people should stop judging someone the way they look. You don’t know their story. The fungus infection of society is the judgement of differences. They say you should be yourself but then you’re not allowed to be different. You have to be in a certain mould to be accepted. Sorry to disappoint but the world doesn’t work that way. This planet is for everyone no matter how they look. Don’t get me started on relationships. Especially celebrity ones. That’s a freak show of its own.

Another fungus infection is an argument between the employed and the unemployed. Mostly those people with jobs. Some think people without work are lazy and all they do is lay down on the couch. FYI I don’t even own one, hahaha. It’s easy for those to say who can master the a§§kissing in the job search. If you’ve never been unemployed you don’t know how it is. All the unemployed are different so don’t go and generalise if someone actually is lazy. Some actually do want to work but is not given the opportunity. It doesn’t matter how much you beg for a job because it doesn’t pop up just like that. People are too easily judged and that’s the worst fungus there is.

The bad news is that there is no news

white paper on a table
Made in Canva

Nothing new under the sun. It’s been a while since I graduated from the graphic design course in Helsinki Design School but nothing has happened after that. Why would it? There is never any luck. Nothing ever happenstance to me. Only crap. Many probably already have gained something from the education. I’m always in the same place, year after year. During the education it felt like I wasn’t that good in graphic design and nothing will come out of it.  Seeing other student’s work, I felt even worse. The portfolio presentation was awful. I don’t know if I even have any potential since I got no real feedback. My presentations are never any good and I hate situations like that. I’m nervous no matter how I’ve prepared. Standing in front of the others makes me forget everything and no notes help. Maybe if there would only be one of two, then I could get something out of it. I’ll never get any work this way.

All the job listings require at least 2 years of work experience. And a professional degree. If I did get a job interview, I still wouldn’t get it because I’m bad at it. No job search courses have helped either. No matter what others say, there is no use. No LinkedIn and that kind of places work either. People say it does but I don’t agree. It just doesn’t work for everyone. Especially in Finland. Being an introvert doesn’t help the matter. I hate it when you need to brand yourself and you need to have great communication skills. Then when my mother tongue is Swedish, it shows in my Finnish writing. But so what? How should I write then? Should I hire a writer whose mother tongue is Finnish? Then it’s not me who’s writing. The most important thing is being understood, right?

If I want a job I should become an entrepreneur but that also requires work. It also takes time to get started. I don’t have time all my life. I want results right away and not in 10 years. I don’t really know what I want any longer because nothing seems to work. It pisses me off because I never have any luck. I could be unemployed for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t need to do anything. Money doesn’t grow on trees but at least I could just be. I can do what I like. Sleep late. But the laziness strikes. I want to do something and not shy away from work like certain people do. When you read about entrepreneurship, there is a lot of negativity. You’re not allowed to do anything. “Don’t have your own business” “Go work for someone else” What if you don’t belong anywhere? You just don’t feel at home among other people. Is being unemployed much better than being an entrepreneur? I think not. Unemployment cost. At least mentally. You have to be social in the workplace and so on. Finding a job is sucks because it requires so much. Personally, I’m bored with it all. You just have to believe in yourself because no one else will. Let the employers hire young and beautiful people they don’t need to pay so much to. I have educations but no one wants to hire me because I don’t have enough experience in my own field. I don’t even get any free work. Thanks to a certain company. I won’t mention any names since they can come and get me. Maybe not but still. At least I got an interview. I was probably too old for their organisation. I applied twice to another company. That was a paid job. I won’t apply to that again. I got the hint. If I only could get the courage to start something on my own.

Certain people have no idea how the job search works these days. No one gets a job just like that. Not everyone is able to do just any job. Like cleaning. You should get experience in your own field and not take a job away from someone else. If you don’t know anything about today, you should keep quiet. “You can find a job if you’re really trying” Well then apply for that job then, self-centred bastard. Everyone doesn’t have friends in high places. Those who do probably don’t even need to write job applications. They want a job and they get it. In real life, it’s not that easy. A good looking resume doesn’t guarantee you anything. It’s what’s in it that counts and if you don’t have it, you don’t even get an interview. You get the round file or file 13. You’re not welcome to their little club. They don’t like you. Just like school. If you’re not the king or queen of the class, you’re nothing. You’re the nerd no one wants to become friends with. Why should you need to please those idiots? Let them have their little club. I don’t want to waste my time with people like that. I’ll rather be alone. At least I can have a decent conversation and nobody demands anything from me.

Source: https://pics.me.me/

Why do I even bother?

sheldon cooper gif
Source: https://are-you-for-serial.tumblr.com/post/123562914844/can-i-get-some-of-those-united-nations-headphones

Got another rejection in the job search. “We have looked at your application but you’re not the one we’re looking for” Not exactly those words but close. I don’t know why I bother applying for jobs. Why should I strain myself with writing applications? It doesn’t matter what I write, I still get nothing. I can’t understand how people waste their time writing hundreds of applications. It’s a waste of time and energy. No wonder people get depressed. Being rejected by anyone is not nice. I rather use my time doing other things than writing applications that only makes my head spin. I don’t even think I study new things to get a job anymore. I study for my own amusement because what else can I do. Job search is like dating. People say “you’ll find someone too” which is the same “you’ll find a job too” I wouldn’t hold my breath I would say to both.

It seems I won’t get a job as a web designer and I won’t get a job in graphic design. Open positions don’t show up every day in that field. I wonder how someone gets hired who have no common sense. Or people who can’t park their cars, bike, electric kick scooters or any other vehicle in the right place or between the lines in a parking lot. Or they can’t close the gate or door behind them. It’s usually people who are incapable of doing daily things by themselves. Maybe they’re just good at lying in job interviews or any other skill to get hired. You either need to be very lucky or be a fake person to get a job. At least in this country. Especially if you’re an introvert with no job experience in your field, you’re officially in the rejection pile. And you have gaps in your work experience. If I was mentally weak, I would too have difficulties to cope with my joblessness. Getting another rejection letter (email in this case) just bounces off my shoulders. I knew I wouldn’t get chosen for the next step anyway so I’m not that surprised. They were probably looking for someone in their 20’s who have just graduated from school. Not someone who’s over 40 who just have graduated from an education. Just as well. I rather move on. I wouldn’t have been up to the job anyway.

I don’t fit in any company. I have the personality of a toilet brush, for starters. Joke aside. I’m a loner who’s not very good company when it comes to being social with a co-worker. That’s what employers are looking for mostly. A person who socialise but at the same time have skills of a superhuman. Who’s living in a dream world, huh? People with jobs have no real idea of how it is to be unemployed. Unless they’ve been one themselves. These days you can’t just go to a company and you get hired right there and then. That’s not how it works. Before judging the unemployed, people should look at the bigger picture. Telling someone to get a job doesn’t help at all. It’s so easy to blame the unemployed when there is much else to it. I have no personal experiences of negative comments but I’ve read a lot of those on the Internet. I feel really annoyed for them who has to hear it constantly. Some people can’t even do any job. They have allergies or other physical problems. Like people with jobs, all unemployed are different.

If people want to write job applications for any job, then so be it. But I only apply for a job I’ve studied. Call me picky but I call it having standards. I see no point using my energy to search for a job I know I’m not qualified for. The quality is more important than quantity when it comes to job search. You only get stressed if you’re forced to look for any job. Job search is unfair. People with connections have a better chance to get a job than someone who hasn’t. It shouldn’t be that way but that’s how it works. Apparently, you can find connections but I don’t know how that really works. I think it’s awkward to get in touch with a person you never even met. This thing about branding yourself to get your dream job is unnatural. Since when have humans become products? If you have your own business, then branding is good but in a job search, I think not. Then only the young and the beautiful will get a job. Why do I even bother with this whole job search thing? It’s too complex when it shouldn’t. I better just be unemployed for the rest of my life. But that’s a destiny I’m not gonna accept.