My vacation is over

yellow spade deep in sand
Made in Canva

Being unemployed is not really a vacation. You constantly worry why no one hires you or how to update your resume. Then it’s the money thing. You have to live on someone else’s money. A.k.a the government’s money. But then when you think you won’t get anything, things change completely. That’s what happened to me today (Feb. 14). I went to a job interview and guess what, I got the job. It’s part-time and it’s pay subsidy. It’s still government money but I get more money than I do now. I will work as a media assistant and it contains what I’ve studied (e.g. photography and web design) The job begins on March 2. I mean my vacation is over. No more late evenings and sleeping until noon or longer. At least for 8 months. I don’t need to search for jobs and I get more work experience in my own field. Which is the most important thing. So in your face, employers.

The work is in an activity centre for the unemployed. I’ve been there before as an intern but the experience wasn’t fun. It was years ago and things have changed since then. I have to get up early because it’s a long way by bus. I could cycle there but the traffic can be a pain so I rather take the bus. It’s more convenient. Since the job is part-time I can do something else too. But I will probably be too tired after waking up early every day of the week so we’ll see. Now I don’t need to apply to jobs outside my field. I won’t get any of those and I don’t really want to. I’m both excited and nervous about this new adventure but at least I do something instead of waiting for something to happen.

It’s sabotage to get told what to do

doorways
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Do this and you get that. If you don’t do what you are told you will get into trouble or don’t get anything. It’s sabotage to get told what to do with your own life. Not just your life but other things you do. Or don’t do. I don’t really have a point in this post. All I know is what sabotage is when you want to be yourself but is not allowed to. People should have the right to be whatever sexuality they are without having to announce it to the world. But some people have the urge to know everything about everyone. I don’t get this “getting out of the closet” when someone announces they are gay or any other sexuality. Straight people never have to announce they’re straight. What’s up with that? Isn’t it because it’s “normal”? And why are gay people living in a closet? I guess there is so much prejudice so people are embarrassed to be different when it shouldn’t be. Some people have attitude problems towards certain people. I don’t know how people like that can live with themselves. I welcome everyone no matter who they are. As long as they’re nice people. Negative and disrespectful people don’t have a place in my life.

Some things feel like sabotage. Like job search. I did get again a message “Thanks for replying but you’re not chosen” for that packaging thing I mentioned in this post. When then, I wonder. They probably chose someone in their 20s. Well, I didn’t want it that bad anyway. That thought makes me feel less worthless. Not that I feel worthless. Some people are embarrassed they’re unemployed so they don’t tell many people. I’m not that fussy. If people think I’m lazy, let them. I’m in my 40s and I should find a job much easier than someone in their 50s. Easier, not easy. But I guess my resume isn’t “sexy” enough. They said you should apply for jobs outside your own field. I did but I didn’t get anywhere. So there goes that theory. At least I can tell the jobcentre I did apply for a job. I don’t know if I should tell them about the graphic design education in Helsinki Design School though. It’s been a while since that ended so maybe not. Why does job searching make me feel so old? I have a lot of energy left but there are too many gaps in my resume. Educations are worth nothing.

Sometimes it feels like sabotage in social media. It’s like someone have said, “don’t like or post anything to that person” Which is just paranoia. I’m no one famous and not many know me on social media. I don’t know why I don’t get that many likes and such. Even on this blog, I don’t get as many likes I used to. Are my blog posts uninterested? Have I told everything and my posts are repeating themselves? Questions like that entered my mind. It really depends on what I write about. On Twitter, I get likes when TV programs are on. Or if it’s tweeting about Formula One. But if I share a blog post or tweet about something else, then I don’t get any. I will never get thousands of likes anywhere but I’m not expecting that either. Some people do anything to get likes to their posts and then they get on the news. ‘This person got 500 00 likes in an hour’ And then the photo they’ve posted isn’t even anything special. People just like weird things. If I posted something like that, it probably wouldn’t even get noticed. Then again I’m just assuming. My motives for social media is different from others. I don’t seek big audiences. It’s the quality that matters.

You can also sabotage your own future by doing crimes. Or even post drunk photos on social media. I don’t know why people do that in the first place. Who wants to see that kind of photos anyway. Know one wants to hire a boozer or even be friends with one. Drunk people are boring as well. Some people think if you don’t smoke and drink you don’t know how to have fun. Well, you can sabotage your own health and your future as much as you want. But I don’t want to live my life that. It’s just isn’t my kind of fun and it has never been. I find parties boring and a waste of energy. I rather stay home alone and do something by myself. If that sounds boring then so be it. Sabotage my solitude then you can think again. Just saying.

The fungus of something

mold
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When I thought about fungus I thought about fungus in your feet. Not the one you can eat.  I don’t like them anyway. In a way, a lot of things in this world is a fungus infection. A sickness that makes the world go crazy. Not just people but things in life. Adults get mad at teens worrying about climate change. Even neighbours in the place you live are one kind of fungus infection. Those who don’t care about anything but themselves. Having loud parties or bullying with their smoking or instrument playing. Violence against other people and so on. If you just stand by and watch it all, you’re part of the problem. Thinking you can’t do anything about certain things is just laziness. If there’s a will there’s a way. Especially if it’s about climate change. In some things, it’s also about attitude.

Many people have this belief what they see is what they get. But looks can deceive. Recently there’s been talk about how young people are not satisfied with the way they look. Some have a certain look and people see them as weird. I’ve had the same problem when I was younger. Then there weren’t any Instagram and all those things. Then it was people in school who judged you. It’s no wonder people get depressed these days with all these beauty standards. It’s so much about appearance. Things are not what they seem so people should stop judging someone the way they look. You don’t know their story. The fungus infection of society is the judgement of differences. They say you should be yourself but then you’re not allowed to be different. You have to be in a certain mould to be accepted. Sorry to disappoint but the world doesn’t work that way. This planet is for everyone no matter how they look. Don’t get me started on relationships. Especially celebrity ones. That’s a freak show of its own.

Another fungus infection is an argument between the employed and the unemployed. Mostly those people with jobs. Some think people without work are lazy and all they do is lay down on the couch. FYI I don’t even own one, hahaha. It’s easy for those to say who can master the a§§kissing in the job search. If you’ve never been unemployed you don’t know how it is. All the unemployed are different so don’t go and generalise if someone actually is lazy. Some actually do want to work but is not given the opportunity. It doesn’t matter how much you beg for a job because it doesn’t pop up just like that. People are too easily judged and that’s the worst fungus there is.