Spray some popularity around me

neon spray paint
Made in Canva

Do you ever feel other people seem to be much better at things than you do? Other people get a lot of likes on Instagram, for example. Or others get friends easier than yourself. You get the feeling you’re totally useless and no one pays you any attention. You don’t look for fame or anything but wouldn’t be nice to be popular at least a little. You know you shouldn’t put yourself down but you can’t help comparing yourself with others. It’s called the inferiority complex. You have low self-esteem and it can depress you. There are moments you feel good about yourself but then you see someone who looks confident and you feel useless again. You try not to care because deep inside you’re good in your own way. But still, back in your head, you think you’re not really good at anything.

My time on social media has been like this which one reason why I have thoughts about not bothering posting anything. Why should I use my energy trying to impress strangers? Spray some popularity around me, will you? I don’t know how people get a lot of likes or comments on social media. Maybe I’m just a boring person and untalented. It seems you need to post photos of yourself to get noticed. Most photos online are fake. Especially on Instagram so I don’t want to be in that game anyway. I’ve only used social media for fun. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. They say how you can promote your business or design work you’re done. But since my experience is mostly negative I’m sceptic about how it would work for me. I have posted my photos in different places and got likes and comments but not because of social media. Even if I use keywords I still don’t get any followers or views on social media. Mostly on Twitter since I use it the most. I don’t really care if it’s about the things I write. I’m more concerned about my design work or photography. Maybe I’m not good enough. At least not good enough to get paid for my work.

“I could have done that” or “It’s nothing special” are words I’ve heard about my photography. Thank you very much, now I really want to practice to get better. Not, it makes me want to give up altogether. It doesn’t give me the motivation to prove them wrong. It only gets me down. I need someone who says what I should do to improve it. I’m not clairvoyant. Even if photography isn’t important for me anymore, those words still haunt in the back of my head. Maybe it’s the same with web and graphic design. I make nothing special and anyone could do the same. It’s probably only in my own mind. There is a lot of people who have been in the business for years and I’m only starting out so you can’t compare. But I can’t even find a job so I can’t get better at it either. It seems you need to be popular and have connections to get anywhere. If it’s social media or finding a job. You also need to be an interesting person which I am not. At least when it comes to fitting into a company. I guess you just have to do everything yourself. Nothing new there. You won’t get help from anyone.


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