When you study something, you might think the real world is as easy. But in school, you get assignments made up by someone else. In real life, you have to make them up yourself. That’s the hard part. Especially when you only starting out you don’t have much to show. Only an assignment you had in school. I doubt you can get hired by only having those. If it was, I would probably have something already. Or maybe not. Who knows really.
Soon it’s been 2 years since I studied graphic design and 4 since web design. Not very impressive since I haven’t done much since then. Especially web design. When you see job adverts for web design jobs, it’s always something technical which is something we didn’t have that much of. It’s quite wrong to be called web designer when it’s actually called web developer. That’s something they didn’t teach in school. Even in school, I didn’t like coding. It’s like Math which is my weakest subject. It just requires too much difficult kind of thinking. I can do things with free themes, but I can’t do a whole website from scratch. I tried in school, but it was too stressful. I’ve thought about only having graphic design and photography in my services. It would mostly be about digital content. At first, I thought I would also have web design with WordPress but apparently making sites from finished themes are not recommended. It’s understandable because themes are updated, and then the job has gone to waste. It’s also a turn-off when employers only search for experienced designers, and they should know a lot about coding. And then it’s web developers and not web designers.
They should teach kids in school that the real world is different. You don’t know what you want to be when you grow up at 16. You can change your mind later. Maybe the profession you chose in your youth is not the right one for you, but you only realize it when you’re getting older. You can change careers any time you want. Today there are no jobs where you are for 30 years and then retire. When I was younger, I thought you needed to educate yourself to one profession and stick with it. But it wasn’t so at all. I don’t want to be one of those who stay in one profession and then, later on, discover you didn’t want to do it after all. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I have studied so many different things. Some might have had jobs during their education, but I couldn’t do it. I wanted to concentrate on my studies and have some free time too. So now I only have internships on my resume, and that’s apparently not good enough. At least I have something and too bad it’s not appreciated among others. Luckily there are other ways to get a job. It’s just a matter of courage to get things started. That is an assignment to do next.
Sometimes it’s better to be straight than being dishonest. It might hurt, but it’s better than be walked over. I wish I would have been braver when I was younger. There were certain people I wished I could have told where to get off. Like that guy in one school where I went to who asked me if I had been in a horror movie. I could have asked him the same. He wasn’t that special either. He was an idiot, and he wasn’t the only one. But that’s the past, and I have met better people than him after that.
It’s kind of funny now when my former schoolmates in primary school didn’t give a damn about me. In the gym, I was always picked up last even if I was good at it. Unlike that “bully” who was bad at it. She was probably jealous. Hard cheese. She probably never even had spots. I have never met them after I changed class in 7th grade. I was glad I got rid of them. I don’t care how they are doing in life. It’s no concern of mine. The class I was at from 1st grade to 4th was much better. If I wasn’t forced to stay at 4th grade for another year, then I probably wouldn’t have needed to go through this ‘bullying’ stage. In the 1st class, you had more than one friend. If one friend was ill, you always had another friend to be with. The atmosphere was very good there. Next time I had that feeling was when I studied media playwriting in 2002-2003.
In a way, past experiences have put me off friendships and even relationships. I don’t like that kind of drama people cause. I have met a lot of different people, but I don’t call them friends. They are more like acquaintances. Or people only walking by and then move on. I don’t believe being alone is bad for you. For me, it suits me very well. I don’t need a lot of people around, and I’ve never had. I can’t understand how someone can have more than 5 friends. It would be too exhausting for my taste. I’m not that depended on other people. When I was a kid, a girl had only one friend, but boys had more than one. Heaven forbid if you wanted to tag along with those other two girls, they looked at you like you were an alien. You knew by their look that you weren’t wanted. At least that’s what I have experienced.
The past shapes your future. For the better or for, the worse. If I hadn’t experienced what I have during my life, things would probably be different. You can’t change the past, but you can make your future better. If you can’t let your past go, you can’t move on because that’s what life should be, moving on. It’s really about your attitude towards the things you have experienced. You can either dwell on how you should have handled the situation or become stronger and stop caring what other’s might think of you. It’s your life and you can do anything you feel without having to ask for permission about how to be. The best revenge is not caring and moving on by doing what’s good for you.
Since I started this blog in 2014, I have posted on January 1 and this year is no exception. It’s time for a fresh start in 2021. Or where we left off. There is nothing much to look forward to for me. Except for the Elton John concert in September. Let’s hope so anyway. It was postponed last year because of the covid thing. Which is still going on, by the way. Some people seem to have forgotten. So wash your hands, stay away from crowds, wear a mask and so on. You should know the drill by now.
I never make new years resolutions. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I usually start doing things in March. In January and February, I only think about what to do but I never seem to get things started. I don’t know about the driver’s license thing. There are times when I think I might need it but then again not. I’m most concerned about passing the tests. I don’t I get passed the first time. The money might go to that the most. That’s what happened over 20 years ago. I also live in a city where places are close by so I don’t really need a licence. If I want to go somewhere I can ask dad for a lift. I don’t go to places where I need a car in the first place. I don’t know if it’s worth paying for. I have gone without a license for this long. I was more thinking about my dad getting older and he doesn’t want to drive long trips. I don’t want to own a car but you can still have a license. I really have to think about it.
I didn’t think about writing about this but there is no harm in saying it. I have written about becoming an entrepreneur many times on this blog. I wouldn’t want to do it full time yet but there is something called light entrepreneurship. I already registered up for one last year. I also have a business Instagram and a Facebook page in the making. But the problem is what kind of services I want to provide. So far I thought about graphic design and photography. I thought about web design too but it’s not what I’ve studied. Sure, I did but the real world web design is too technical for me. I don’t have enough of the material of my work. At least nothing good enough to get clients. There are people who have done it for years and I have only school material to show. It’s just so much work you have to do to become an entrepreneur. The marketing and all that. I don’t know if I want to bother. But then I have to do all the job search things and that’s not easy either. There are monsters in both ways. I wish I didn’t need to do anything. But I don’t want to be one of those who are afraid to work.
We’ll see what 2021 will bring. It’s still early days. So happy new year and that was my first post of the year.