Trying no to flare up about misfortunes

man with a flare in his hand
Made in Canva

Life is full of disappointments, I once wrote on this blog. I try not to flare up when it comes to misfortunes. But sometimes you need to rant about it. I didn’t get the internship that I went for an interview. At least I don’t think so because they never did inform me. They could have at least bothered to tell me. I can’t understand why employers can’t tell the applicants about the results. A no is better than no answer at all. Since there was no reply last week I assume it’s a lost cause. Just as well. The other interns were much younger than me. It wasn’t even a paid job. But that would have been better than nothing. Well, their loss. Looking on the bright side, I can concentrate on my school assignments. It still blows I didn’t get the internship though. It seems I can’t even get free work. It feels like all the educations I’ve had is all unnecessary. I don’t know why I even bother studying anything. I should get work experience but no one gives you a chance. That’s a problem for the young and the older job seekers.

You’re either too young or too old. Even someone over 40 is old for most employers. What are they worried about? They don’t want to babysit or boss their mothers? Job search is a pain and it gets worse the longer you are unemployed. All this propaganda about how to find work doesn’t help. People can give you millions of advice but none of them will help your cause. The job search has become a competition. Is not what kind of education you have, it’s about who you know. It helps if you’re an outgoing and a-happy-go-lucky-really- social person. If you’re not, then there are troubles ahead. After so many disappointments you lose hope of finding any work. You start to think there is something wrong about you. But it isn’t. It’s the job search that is rotten. Employers are too afraid to take risks. It frustrates me when these 30 years something praise how they got a job after a job search in 6 months. That’s nothing, try 10 or more years and then praise it. It’s so easy to brag about your good luck when others struggle for years.

I’ve been to these job search and resume courses but none of them has helped to find me a job. The only thing I got was something to do and once I found an education I applied to (it was the web design education) That didn’t help either to get a job. There is no point applying for any job because I’m gonna get rejected anyway. If I can’t even get this internship without pay, then how can I get a paid one. I’m actually so fed up with this all. I know I should think positive but it’s hard since nothing ever happens. I could just go to sleep and pray for death. Not really though. In a way, I understand people who don’t even want to look for a job. Job search is hard and you get emotionally drained about the whole process. But I wouldn’t want to live all my life on social benefits. My parent taught me better than that. If I had the courage I would become an entrepreneur at this instant but that has its disadvantages too. Feeling unwanted is one of the worst feelings but you just have to continue living. At least I have other things to do. Or else this unemployment would take harder to bear.

To skedaddle or not, that is the question

green exit sign
Made in Canva

To skedaddle or not, that is the question. It’s so easy to escape from things and places so you don’t have to face them. You stop thinking about it or you think you do it some other time. When I was younger I wanted to skedaddle from things that didn’t interest me. Or maybe it did interest me but I was too shy to approach the matter. I had mild anxiety and the only thought I had was to escape from the situation. One of those was about taking a blood test. Once I didn’t go even if the doctor gave me a referral to one. I still don’t like needles which is the reason why I wouldn’t donate blood. Hospitals are also places I want to skedaddle from. I can visit them but being a patient is something else. You want to skedaddle from things that give you anxiety or if you have had bad experiences. For me it’s hospitals. I’ve visited them so often when I was a child (my big sister was sick) so I’ve had enough of them. Luckily I’ve only been as a patient twice and those were awful experiences.

Giving presentations is also something I didn’t want to do. I hated those times in school when I had to stand in front of a class that I didn’t even like. I felt they were mocking me silently and it felt uncomfortable being stared at. I just wanted to skedaddle but somehow I got through with the presentation. In later years, I discovered if the audience was familiar and they were actually nice people, then giving a presentation wasn’t that bad. I still wouldn’t give speeches in front of strangers though. Unless it’s people I know somehow and they’re not that many.  Presentations are much better than group work. I rather do that. Of course, it depends what kind of group work it is and with who. I think you gain more confidence in giving presentations if you do it often. Practice makes you better.

In life, there are things that make you want to skedaddle because you feel insecure. Especially young people who haven’t had enough experiences can feel anxiety to certain things. I’ve been there and I did leave a place without even telling anyone about it. That’s something I wouldn’t do today. Even if I sometimes have the feeling I want to skedaddle, I don’t. I face my insecurity and meet what is coming at me. If there are problems ahead you should face them as an adult. Only kids run away from conflicts or things they feel uncomfortable about. I wouldn’t want to go back to the person I was when I was younger. The feeling about wanting to skedaddle from places or situations is not a nice one. Staying and facing them is a better option because, in the end, things can’t be as bad as you thought.