I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences, I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it, so I know what I’m talking about.
The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend, they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.
I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree, but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t makeup rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour, and frankly, I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did, they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty, so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.
Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret, but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person, it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school, and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.
I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker, though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people. It’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be on a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you, and you can say anything to them without having to worry; they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people, I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.
Laying on the beach has never been my thing. It’s one of the most boring things to do. But going to the beach and look at the ocean is different. Gazing at the stars in the sky at a beach is beautiful too.
Next Tuesday (June 2) I turn 43. But age is nothing but a number. For some people birthdays can be embarrassing or they rather not make a big number of their age. Then there are these age crisis things. I didn’t have a 30 years crisis and not 40 years either. I had it at 25. I didn’t do anything special. I only felt I was useless and felt I hadn’t done anything I wanted to. Now I don’t care. You’re only as old as you feel. Other people’s opinions about your age don’t matter. I wouldn’t want to be in any other age because now I have the knowledge I didn’t have when I was younger. Instead of being outdoors in the warm and sunny weather, I made this list.
To ‘celebrate’ my birthday, here are various questions I found online. Trying to find 43 questions wasn’t easy. Most of the questions are from this site. It’s quite a long read so don’t rush it.
Some boring questions first
What is your full name? Mia Eva-Stina Salminen
What is your height? 5’7″ last time I checked
What is your favourite colour? Blue and purple
Sexual orientation? Straight but why label it? You are what you are. I respect all sexualities because, in the end, we’re all human.
What colour are your eyes and hair? Dark blue eyes. The hair colour depends if it’s clean or not. It also gets darker with age. When I was a child it was blonde. Maybe it’s more light brown these days.
This is where it gets more interesting
What TV shows are you into? I’m mostly into old TV shows and especially comedies. A lot of TV shows have ended and I haven’t found anything new to watch. I’m a fan of Game of Thrones and Prison break. I also like game shows like ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’ I hate most of the reality shows. Or cheating shows as I call them.
Where would you rather be from? If I wasn’t from Finland it would either be Sweden or the UK. But I love Finland the best so I wouldn’t want to change it.
What movies do you like? As in TV shows, I love comedies. Jim Carrey is one of my favourites. I also love Lord of the rings trilogy and no matter what others might think, The Hobbit trilogy. There are a lot of movies I’ve seen several times so I don’t have an absolute favourite.
What job would you be terrible at? Anything that has to do with Math. I’m not very good with numbers. I also would be a terrible teacher. You need patience in that and I would just get upset at the student.
What skill would you like to master? I wish I could be better at making websites but I hate coding. There are of course ready themes but apparently, you shouldn’t use them. I also wish I was better at graphic design.
What takes up too much of your time? Being online. Also sleeping too long. I never have time to do anything because I sleep late.
What mystery do you wish you knew the answer to? Why certain people have to urge to act stupid. Especially young people. I also wonder why some people believe in stereotypes. I also can’t believe there is still racism around.
What do you consider to be your best find? The best find is that I finally know what I want to do for a living. It’s just that I don’t know if I ever be good enough.
What fictional character do you really wish would exist? If I said Loki, would you hold him against me? In a way, he already does. Not with that name but there already are divas who wanted attention because they didn’t get it at home the way they wished.
What popular TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? I refuse to watch reality shows like Love Island or Big Brother. I don’t care about other people problems. A movie I refuse to watch is ‘American Psycho’ with Christian Bale. Even though he’s one of my favourite actors. That movie is so creepy so no thank you.
What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? I don’t if it’s impressive but I can make up tunes with the recorder by just listening.
What game or movie universe would you most like to live in? Lord of the rings without all that war. I would live in Rivendell. It one beautiful places in that universe.
If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? What I do now. Blogging, writing fiction, cycling, watch movies, eat candy/sweets etc.
What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Live in solitude somewhere where there are no other people around and only the birds singing.
What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it? Entrepreneurship but the work to find paying clients is the reason why I don’t start. The other thing is not being confident enough about my skills.
If you were dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? Not crazy but healthy. All smokers are not allowed and no drunk people either. Or too noisy people.
What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don’t get the point of? Fashion in general and people using toe sandals. Especially men, such a turn-off. The same with Crocs. Yuck.
What irrational fear do you have? Hating needles. That’s one reason why I don’t donate blood. Some might not think it’s nothing to be afraid of but just the thought of a needle is distressing.
Have you ever given to any charities? No, I don’t have that kind of money. I’ve been to two charity football matches though so in a way I have.
What’s the last adventure you went on? When I studied graphic design in Helsinki last year. I travelled there alone twice a month. That is an adventure in my eyes. Also walking or cycling outside is an adventure in itself.
What is something you will NEVER do again? Eat sushi. I tasted it once but I didn’t like it. I don’t know how somebody can. But we all have different tastes.
What do you hope your last words will be? “I wish I could have seen him” OK, that’s a quote from Lord of the rings. Maybe my last words would be “I have a million euros in a deposit box and the code is….” Then I die. There isn’t any money though 😆
What’s the best thing you got from your parents? To be myself and have respect for others.
What’s the best and worst thing about getting older? The best thing is that you’re wiser and the worst people think you’re getting too old.
What is something you are certain you’ll never experience? A personal thing. I’ll never get to experience passionate love. Someone who likes you the way you are and don’t expect for you to be like everyone else. Someone who can’t stay away from you. I know I’ll never have that and especially with certain men. That’s all I’m saying about that.
What is something that your friends wouldn’t believe was true about you? I have a dirty mind. Even if I don’t have personal experiences about a certain thing, I can still imagine it.
If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what rule would you make? Be nice to others and don’t judge before you get to know a person.
If you could have a video of anyone in your life, what event would you choose? My mother, my sister and both of my grandmothers when they were all alive. Especially Christmas.
If you had a clock that would countdown to any one event of your choosing, what event would you want it to countdown to? I already have. A countdown to Elton John’s concert in September. But we’ll see if it will happen.
Have you had any pets and what’s your favourite pets? Never had any pets because my sister was allergic. I’ve always liked bunnies. It was the only animal I wasn’t afraid of.
What are you addicted to? Certain male voices. And music.
Have you met any celebrities? Finnish one’s only. I never meet any foreign celebrities. Ski jumper Janne Ahonen. I got his autograph. And TV presenter Roope Salminen. He’s a big star in Finland and so down-to-earth.
Have you ever been to the hospital? Visited and been a patient. My big sister was ill a lot so I never liked hospitals. Luckily I’ve only been twice as a patient.
Last but not least
If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Mind control or moving around unseen. Maybe both.
What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top in? Ski jumping tower in Lahti, Finland.
Who is your hero? It varies. It’s more about actions than a person. There are people I admire, like actors but also normal people. My parents can be heroes. The went through a lot and still managed. They were married for at least 40 years before my mother died.
What song always gets you out on the dance floor? I don’t like dancing. Not the song by that band I can’t remember the name of right now. I just don’t like dancing. I rather watch others dance.
What’s your guilty pleasure? Like Tom Hiddleston once said. Something like. My guilty pleasure is not having a guilty pleasure. I would say I do have pleasures but I don’t feel guilty about them. I don’t pretend to like something I don’t like.
If you got this far then bravo. You deserve a big hug. Thank you for reading.