I wrote about laughter before back in 2014 so this is kind part 2 of that. Find it here. Besides writing, laughing is a good medicine for my mental health. I love laughing. I can’t get enough of old comedies like Frasier or The Golden girls. I also love British humour. The old stuff mostly. I don’t only like comedy but also humour in general. Even in action movies, some humour is good. Not hilarious but funny moments. The reason I love Guardian of the galaxy is for the humour. Even in Thor. Some say the humour in Ragnarok was unnecessary but I think that’s what makes it so good. It’s definitely not a movie for humourless people.
It doesn’t take much for me to laugh. Even making funny faces makes me full of laughter. It’s not how things are said, it’s about how they’re said. Humour it’s not only about how to tell a joke. It’s so much more. It’s about witty remarks and even sarcasm. I absolutely loved House MD, you know with Hugh Laurie. I still laugh when I see quotes from the TV show. Again, it’s not about what he said, it’s about how he said it and Laurie’s facial expressions were priceless. That’s what made it such a great show. I usually don’t go for black comedy but some are good. Like Fargo, the movie.
So laughter is a good remedy for everyone. It might not make your life longer but at least you have a good time. Without humour, life would be full of sorrow and that’s not very nice, is it?
I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences, I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it, so I know what I’m talking about.
The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend, they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.
I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree, but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t makeup rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour, and frankly, I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did, they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty, so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.
Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret, but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person, it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school, and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.
I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker, though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people. It’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be on a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you, and you can say anything to them without having to worry; they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people, I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.
Laying on the beach has never been my thing. It’s one of the most boring things to do. But going to the beach and look at the ocean is different. Gazing at the stars in the sky at a beach is beautiful too.