Juxtapose of a Gemini

black and white sheep

As a Gemini, I have two sides. One is the quiet and observant introvert and the other is an opinionated and honest individual. But only when I’m around people I know. It’s a juxtapose of a Gemini. Most people don’t realise there is another side of me. But they don’t usually bother to get to know me better to find out. If I act differently from the usual people are surprised. I do have that ‘crazy’ side but I only show it to the right people. I might look serious but I can be silly too. It just needs to be the right moment and mood. When I’m comfortable with someone I show that other side to them.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s an age thing but recently I thought about past happenings. People I met and so on. Especially experiences from the opposite sex. I won’t go into detail since it’s personal stuff. Let’s just say, it feels like I attract idiots to myself. It’s either guys I don’t feel drawn to or it’s guys that are idiots. Mostly the latter. No wonder I fall for men I can’t have. It saves me from heartache. I never meet anyone like Tom Hiddleston or Lee Pace. OK, I don’t know them for real but they seem decent and not arrogant at all. But there’s is no such men in real life. They probably wouldn’t even look my way. Some men expect women to be like models but the men themselves look like they’re from a horror movie. It’s all true, good men are hard to find. They either taken, gay or idiots. If I used something like Tinder I would probably be rejected there too. Some might be scared to be dying alone but I don’t stress about it. Once you’ve seen the promising land, single life, there is no turn back. That’s better then be cheated on or be dumped because of the guy found someone much younger than you. At least that’s what you read about. It doesn’t mean it would happen to me.

I’m more than meets the eye but it’s always been about looks. Even in friendships. From my experience, girls especially, are quite judgemental. If you don’t do girly stuff, you’re out of their circle. This is just my point of view. It doesn’t mean it’s entirely true. I met women who aren’t like that at all. But when you’re a teenager, these things affect you. I guess my former classmates were self-observed. They probably didn’t even have bad skin. If girls don’t judge you, then the opposite sex will. Being yourself isn’t enough. You also have to look like any other girl/women. I don’t envy teenage girls of today. With this internet thing and all. It’s a sensitive age where this kind of things can affect you. It doesn’t help that these celebrities date or marry beautiful people. Boys see these girls/women and they grow up thinking this is what women should look like. I think it’s a bit strange how these celebs find these people and even marry them. How could they know they find the one? Do they choose them because they don’t want to be judged by other people? I just think it’s isn’t entirely possible to find the one among beautiful people. It could even be me. What I’m saying is, looks aren’t everything but in my world, it seems to be. I’m a likeable person and I care about others but I don’t get any credit for that. But because I look the way I do, I get overlooked.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If someone judges you by your appearance, they only look down on you. People like that are not worth having. It’s really their loss if they don’t want to be your friend or date you because of the way you look. I used to feel so worthless and unwanted. The good thing about getting older is that you stop caring what others think. I’m happy for who I am and I don’t need to change because someone has a certain formula to go by. I don’t have to act or look like any other female. I’m a tomboy for crying out loud. This post, in the beginning, might sound I felt down but that was an hour ago. That’s a juxtapose of a Gemini, I change my mind all the time. What I don’t change is my way of looking at the world. I try to stay positive even if it’s sometimes hard. I wish others would think more about deep things in this superficial universe. There are more important things to care about than how you look to other people. All that matters is that you feel good about yourself and you’re proud of who you are.

sherlock quote

The shallow world


Media tells us how to dress, how to look and so on. This world is shallow. From my experience, people also choose their friends by the way they look. No one respects a personality. If you’re a woman, you should look like a model. You should follow fashion and wear makeup. Even men have to look a certain way to be accepted. That’s so wrong. Everyone should look the way they want without having to get ridiculed. We all can’t look the same. If you want to look natural, you can’t change the way you look. Some people are so shallow, they use plastic surgery to look like someone else. Especially celebrities. Hollywood is shamelessly shallow and ageing is a taboo. Now ordinary people suffer from the same “illness” It seems you need to look beautiful or gorgeous to be accepted.

Not just being beautiful, you need to be thin as well. Every year there are tips how to get in shape for the summer. You almost have to starve yourself to look good in a bikini. So sorry but everyone doesn’t want to look like a stick with no meat on it. Life is too short to count calories and exercising your pants off. Of course, you should eat healthily and move away from your couch from time to time. But you have to eat sweets and fast food from time to time. As long as it’s not all you do. You don’t need to have a flat stomach to feel good about yourself. If a person is overweight and they post photos of themselves online, there are people who criticise them. Like social media is only for the thin people. Everyone has the right to post anything they want without having to get negative comments from strangers. A strong person doesn’t care what others think of them. You don’t have to please other people. If you’re happy with what you are, that’s all that matters. There’s always gonna be negative people around and they shouldn’t get the satisfaction to put down other people.

I rebel against all standards of beauty. If people don’t like the way I look, then too bad. I’m never claimed to look anything special. No one has never said I was ugly but suggested so. One guy asked once in school if I ever been in a horror movie. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time but now I’m sure he meant I was ugly. He must have looked like an oil painting himself. I tell you, he wasn’t. He was nothing special. It’s so easy to criticise others when themselves don’t look like models either. Maybe he thought he was god’s gift to women in his opinion. It’s strange that men can look as ugly as they can but women need to paint themselves to be desirable. I do admit that sometimes I can be shallow myself. But I accept the way people look. I’m not gonna put them down by saying to their face or suggest they’re ugly. I don’t choose friends by the way they look either. I can accept differences. It’s really people’s loss if they don’t want to get to know me because of my appearance. I’m more than meets the eye and I’m not trying to be cocky about it.

If people could look past someone’s appearance, there would be less shallowness in the world. Now people judge you as soon as they see you. First impressions can fail and you shouldn’t give up so easily. No one is perfect and that goes for beautiful and gorgeous people as well. If someone looks perfect, it doesn’t mean they’re inside the same. Every human on this earth has their faults. Some have good taste in clothes and some have not. Appearance is the eye of the beholder. You don’t have to dress like you’re going to an award show but at least wear something decent. No matter what sex you are, wear what you feel confident in. Don’t be the shallow one. There’s too much of that in the world already.



Take a look at yourself before criticizing

Bob Dylan quoteLady Gaga performed in SuperBowl and people on social media criticized her appearance. I haven’t read exactly what they were but it wasn’t very nice. She handled it very well by saying she likes her body the way it is. Did these negative people even watch her performance? Celebrities always gets criticized as soon as they put on some weight or they get older. I really don’t envy them one bit. Some people have a weird sense of body image. It’s no wonder since all you see in the media are perfect looking people. Those who criticize others probably think they’re so perfect themselves. It’s so easy to write negative things online behind a user name.

You should really look at yourself before you criticise others. That’s what I would like to say to those few who were mean to me about how I looked like. They didn’t even have the guts to say it straight but instead pretended to be nice. I don’t know if it was a bad or a good thing that they didn’t say it but I know they were thinking it. I didn’t get friends because I wasn’t good enough to them. Who choses friends by their appearance anyway? As a teen you’re more sensitive about these things. I wouldn’t care now what people think of me. I’m not here for them, I’m here for me. It’s because I’m female and people think I should act like one. I don’t want to be like everyone else. You can’t change your appearance and your personality. You can only be yourself. No one should change for anyone. If people can’t except me for who I am and how I look like than too bad.

It’s strange that females have to look perfect all the time but men can be as fat or unattractive as they can and no one says anything. If you don’t wear make-up or spend money on clothes, you’re no woman at all. Women are supposed to look nice and not say anything. They should pleasure men and live their lives on their terms. But that’s not reality. Real people should look real and not like Barbie dolls. That’s where these negative people get their motivations from. A fantasy world that only exist in their minds. If you’re beautiful on the outside, how about on the inside? If your ugly on the inside than there’s no point of being good-looking. Luckily there are people out there who are both but that’s a rare gift. There’s always gonna be criticism no matter what but you just have to live with it. You can only have confident in yourself and not let it affect you. When you have that, negative comments bounces off you easily.