My life seems to go around like a carousel—a slow one. At least when it comes to jobs. My birthday was on Wednesday. I only got three congrats on Facebook. But it’s no big deal. I only turned 44. Birthdays are no big deal for me anyway. Unfortunately, age seems to be an issue for some people. I say to those people, talk to the hand. Age is a state of mind.
I have things to do that keeps me occupied, so I don’t have time to think that my life is going around like a carousel. I have that driving lesson thing and the UX/UI design thing. The summer weather is also here, so who has the time to look for a career. I won’t find one either. You can have all the educations in the world, but that doesn’t mean you will find a job. No matter what people claim. You need to have job experiences and a college degree, which I don’t have. Then LinkedIn suggests jobs that I’m certainly not suitable for. Like marketing. I’m not any good at that. Why should I waste time on writing applications to places I won’t get anyway? Am I not taking someone else’s job, someone who has studied the subject? I don’t believe in applying for jobs that I don’t have an education for. They said you should apply for any job, but that’s a waste of time for the applicant and the one who reads the applications. I just become something where there are jobs. I need experience from the occupations I have studied and not experiences from working. I know the rules of working in general.
At the moment I want to concentrate on the current things. Taking baby steps is better than trying to hurry. I don’t mind being in the current carousel of life. Sometimes I wish there could be more, but that feeling is just passing.
First, some good news. I passed the driving theory test yesterday. After Easter, I’ll get in touch with the teacher to schedule the driving lessons. There are 4 hours of it, and one part is in a simulator. I haven’t driven a car in 26 years, so I think I start with that one. I’m a bit nervous about that because I’ve never been in one. Maybe driving a real car can be the same. When those are done. Then the only one left is the driving test. I hope I’ll pass that the first try, but I doubt it. If I’m lucky, I will have a drivers license before my birthday in June. What a great birthday present that would be. If you have a little patience, things will follow. I wish I had it in other things too. Patience that is.
Since I was a child, I’ve been a bit impatient. It’s not. Get me things at this right moment. It’s more about giving up too easily. I wasn’t the best student in school. I had issues with certain subjects. Math was one of them. I had tutoring lessons in it. If you’re not good at something, you don’t like doing it. They say you can learn to become better at Math, but I’m not that excited to learn. You must like it to have enough motivation. I rather learn something else instead. As long as you know the basics and understand the value of money, you don’t need to learn all these Y plus X things. Unless you want to become a scientist or something like that. I never understood why you should learn other than how to count this plus this. The same with calculating things in your head. That’s what calculators are for. Math is like coding; I hate both of them. I make many mistakes, and then I just want to give up because things are too difficult.
I don’t know why I bother, but I’ve yet again applied for education. This time for an education called Code Academy. They teach you, that’s right, coding. I probably won’t get in. It’s a recruitment training program. There is a job-learning part where you can work for a company, either a workplace they find or a place the student can find. Only if someone wants the student to work for them, then you get chosen for the education. The problem with education is that you get your hopes up and search for information about the occupation. Then you won’t get chosen anyway. Even if you do get in, you still won’t find a job. So what is the point with educating yourself, besides learning something new? You get no job experience in your field no matter how much you study. It’s silly to start a new career when you haven’t even got anything from your current one. I want to do so many things, and most of them are connected somehow. I always studied creative things, so changing the path to another direction is needless. If it’s neither writing a job application or applying to a school, I’m never good at explaining in words about me and why I want things. I won’t expect too much about this education I applied to. The same with the job application for an IT support person. I don’t know enough of the technical stuff when it comes to computers. I’m not a a novice, but I’m no expert either. In coding things are different. I have studied it and used it too, but it doesn’t mean they will pick me for the education.
I don’t make goals at a certain time. For example, with the driving school. I can only hope I get the license before summer, but I won’t promise the exact date. It depends on so many things. I don’t know when I will get a driving lesson. The teacher said when she called last week that their schedule will become busy after two weeks. Then there is the driving test. The driving school is far from over. I have enough patience to get the licence in my own time. At least I’m closer to achieve it.
Today British actor Tom Hiddleston turns the big 40. It feels a bit weird that someone you don’t know personally is in the same age as you. Well, I’m still older, though. I turn 44 in June. When I turned 40, I thought, wasn’t I just 35. At 40, you realise how fast the time has gone. You have a history behind you, but also a future in front of you. My 40s is different from he’s 40. For one, he’s male and a famous actor. Actually, anyone else in their 40s has more experience than me. In everything in life. So age doesn’t really matter. It’s just that when a woman is 40, they’re old. But when a man is 40, it’s no big deal. You hear men get better with age. But you never hear that about women. It’s better to be a woman though because, well, you get to like men like Tom. Someone like me will never get someone like him though. Life is like high school where the popular person wouldn’t look at the shy and ‘ugly’ one that way.
Getting older is not always a good thing. Especially when you’re a woman, and you’re single without a job. Other people probably wonder why. Maybe there is something wrong with you. Well, no one is perfect. Even those who you think are, but everyone does have flaws. If you’re famous or just an ordinary person. When you’re young, you don’t think about age. Not until you become older. Age seems to be a problem for some people. You’re either too young or too old. The older you get, the less you care what others think. Answering the question, maybe there is something wrong with you. Yes, there is. I don’t have enough job experience, and I have never been popular among boys/men. But I don’t really see that as a problem. There are a lot of things I missed, but you can’t go back. You can’t miss something you never had. There is just so much more in life than trying to impress other people. Some people have goals to have a family one day, but it’s not my life. Other people’s personal lives are no concern of mine. Even famous ones. I have other things to think about. If I kept thinking about other things than my own life, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else. I don’t like drama. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I can’t even say to a person when they act wrongly without shaking inside.
That was enough about me.
Welcome Tom Hiddleston to the 40s club. I still love you no matter what age 😉 Have some cake 🙂