Tag: childhood

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 13

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Day 13

When I was a kid, my bestie was a girl I knew from kindergarten, and we went to school in the same class. Since today is Saint Lucia’s Day (a Scandinavian tradition), I mentioned that when I was in kindergarten, it was time to pick who Lucia would be; they chose her because she had long blond hair. I was upset because I wanted to be Lucia. My hair wasn’t long enough, but I could be the second Lucia without the crown. My bestie was the best choice, though.

Unfortunately, my bestie moved to another city after first grade. She called me later, but I didn’t want to talk to her. It wasn’t her fault her parents got a job in another city, but I was still upset I lost my bestie. I had friends after that, but it wasn’t the same—not when calling someone a bestie. You don’t get best friends when you become an adult. At least you don’t call them that. I wouldn’t have kept in touch with my bestie anyway. I’m not good at keeping in touch with people. We wouldn’t have anything in common. That ship has sailed decades ago. A lot of things can happen during that time. Who knows if she’s even alive anymore.

Some people look for old friends or relatives, but I’m not interested in the past. I prefer looking forward instead. Why would I want to anyway? They don’t care about me, so why would I care for them? Not even current ones have much time to keep in touch. They have busy lives, and they don’t have time for chit-chat. Maybe a greeting at Christmas or a birthday, but that’s about it. My bestie right now is myself, and who else knows about yourself than you.

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 12

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Day 12

Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

Daily Writing Prompt

The first time I was on stage or performed was when I was 6. I played Mary in a Christmas play in kindergarten. Josef was played by a boy named Tom. He also went to the same class as me. He used to live opposite my building. Unfortunately, he died in a moped accident when he was 16. Anyway, I don’t remember anything about the play, but I have photos of it. In school, we had plays, but I didn’t want to have any speaking parts. In secondary school, when I was in a smaller class, one of my classmates’ dad worked in a local theatre, and he helped us with the productions. We had spring plays, and once, we had a musical and one scene in English. It was fun because we were a small group of different ages. There was no nuisance behaviour from others if you weren’t good. After all, they were school plays and not Broadway.

I never had speeches unless you count presentations. Those are nerve-wracking. I only want to say my things and leave. I try to avoid speeches, and I decline if I ever have to give one. Even if I got paid, I still wouldn’t do it. One-on-one is OK, but not in front of a crowd. Someone says you get used to talking to an audience, but I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to have the feeling of my mouth being dry and my heart beating faster. Let those people who like to make speeches do it. I’m not meant to do them. My skills lay elsewhere. We can’t all become speakers.

Advent Calendar 2024 – Day 11

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Day 11

The journey to the end of the year 2024 is going on. The year wasn’t the way I thought it would. My dad died, and that’s something I didn’t think would happen so soon. I hoped he would have lived as long as possible, but you don’t always get what you want. I didn’t think my mother would have passed away at 68 years of age. On Sunday, it’s been 11 years. You don’t think about the day your parents die when you’re younger. You only live your life, and you don’t think about it. I had classmates who lost one of their parents when they were in school, but I never thought I would lose mine as early as I did. It doesn’t matter what age you are; losing a loved one is never easy. You might as well be 5 years old. Except when you’re older, you know what it means. When I lost my big sister in 1983, I was only 6 years old, and luckily, I didn’t remember much about it. My dad used to say that I was smiling more before her death. It does change your whole life when you’re at the start of it. It’s tough, especially for the parents, to lose a child. We took a trip to Europe to get past the sorrow. We went to Germany, the Italy-Austrian Alps, Denmark and Switzerland. It was cheaper because I travelled for free. It was possible in the 1980s, and I don’t think you can do that anymore. Getting away was one way to handle grief. You get other things to think about.

I have to make my journey on Earth without them. I still have good memories of them and can always return to photos and videos. I believe things happen for a reason. When you experience life challenges, you get mentally stronger. You need to because life goes on, and you make the most of it. The loved ones want you to move on because life is for the living. There is a time and place for everything. My next journey is the Christmas cruise to Tallinn, which I’m looking forward to. It will be different without Dad. At least I don’t need to ask anyone else where to go.