Tag: Club Introvert

NaBloPoMo15: When I grow up

Mia1 Comment
https://i0.wp.com/www.hercampus.com/sites/default/files/2015/05/28/brochure-image---when-i-grow-up---comedy-21037_1.jpg
Source: http://www.hercampus.com

I did not want to have the same job as my parents did. I’ve always known that. My mother (who passed away 2 years ago this December) were a department secretary. She worked in different places, like hospitals. She did a lot of office work. That’s something I couldn’t do. Maybe for a while but that has never been my agenda.

My father is a goldsmith and he’s got an own business. Making jewelry is kind of dirty job. Even though I’m good in handiwork, it’s not my thing. I’ve helped him in his work shop and I’ve seen how it’s done. There’s a machines and stuff which makes me a bit scared. The workshop gets really dirty and I can’t work in a place like that because I have a sensitive skin.

I’ve always been indecisive when it comes to jobs. I knew what I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to have a “normal” job. I wanted a job that were versatile and where I could express myself. That’s the reason I still haven’t found my calling. I’ve thought too much about what I wanted to do. Nothing has really excited me when it comes to jobs. I had ideas but they haven’t stayed long. I’ve studied different kind of things. Including journalism but that wasn’t for me. One time I thought how cool it would be to interview and meet famous people. I realised in that school that I can’t listen and write at the same time. I also wasn’t very good at writing articles and whatever journalist do.

The only thing that has stayed in my mind the longest, is photography. I went to a photography school in 2001 but I quit because it wasn’t something I wanted to do at the time. I also didn’t understand the developing of the films. If  digital cameras only were more common then maybe things would be different now. I took up photography again a few years later. Even more when I bought a DSLR camera in 2008. I wanted to become a Formula 1 photographer but I think that was only because of a driver I liked. I realised that will never happen anyway. Just too much work.

Recently I’ve thought about if I really got what it takes to become a pro. Maybe it’s an unrealistic dream. I don’t even photograph all the time. During the photography degree course in Helsinki Design School, my motivation dropped. Even though I learned new things there, I still feel indecisive if I really want to do photography after all. There’s not many jobs over here either. Which makes it even harder to keep up the motivation. You really need to stand out to sell your photos and I don’t think I’m not that good. Maybe I should choose an easier profession. But something I already know something about.

One thing’s for sure, I never wanted to do what my parents did. I’m a Gemini and I get bored easily. To keep my motivation up, I need changes and something to look forward. I just gets lazy and don’t feel like doing anything if I don’t. But I’m also an introvert which makes this profession choice even harder. If famous introverts can do it (like J.K. Rowling) then so can I.

(Day 3 of NaBloPoMo)

Class reunion- to go or not to go

Mia1 Comment
want2come
Sheldon, Big Bang Theory

Class reunions, you either love them or loathe them. It depends on how much you liked school and if you had any friends. I’ve never been to one even if I did say I would come. This was the class where I didn’t enjoy my time at all. I was just glad I didn’t have to see those people again. But when it was time for the reunion I thought, I’ll show them I’m a different person. At the time I thought I would have something to brag about. In the end it didn’t matter. Why do I have to impressive these people anyway. I don’t care about them. They didn’t care about me. They’re the past and that has nothing to do with the future. So I decided I would not go and I have never regretting it.

Now it’s time for a reunion but this time it’s with my class mates from Helsinki Design School. Even though I enjoyed the time there, I didn’t find that “connection” with any of them. It would be nice to see them again though despite that but it’s in Helsinki and I’m not really into travelling there just for a few hours. The restaurant they chose is quite expensive too. The meeting day is also on a Friday and that’s when all the weirdos are outside. Then there’s the money issues. There probably will be another reunion one day. If I decide to go, what would I do there. Just sit and listen? I have nothing to say. They never asked me anything when the photography course was on so why would they ask me anything now? These kind of gatherings are a pain for an introvert even if it’s with people you know. I don’t even know them. They’re just ships passing by. I don’t even remember their names. Then again it’s never too late to get to know them. At least those people that can make it. It’s also quite interesting to know what they’ve been up to even if I don’t have anything to tell. But is it really worth going that far just to sit and listen. I don’t really care if they want me there or not. If I decide to go I’ll do it out of curiosity.

Then there’s the bus or train schedules. Will I found a suitable time, is also the question. I don’t know how long I want to be there. It’s less expensive to buy the tickets online in advance. But what if I don’t like it there. Then of course I can leave earlier. But if I like it there, it would be a shame to leave just because I have to catch a train or bus. The restaurant is open until 2 am but I’m not gonna stay that long. There will be another reunion so if I don’t go this time, there’s always next time.

Decisions has never been my strongest side. Should I stay or should I go, that’s always been a problem for me. I’m still thinking if I should go to this reunion. It’s at least 3 weeks until it happens so there’s still time to think about it.

 

 

Travel is a far-fetched dream

MiaLeave a comment
Source: http://geology.com/world/world-map.shtml

Travel had always been popular. For pleasure, not business. It’s even easier now then it was before. Especially in Europe if your country is in the European Union where the currency is Euro. I have had my share of traveling. My family did those trips to Lapland to ski. We were there in the summer as well a few times. Then we’re traveled to Europe. But then I was a child and it was less expensive since I was 6 (or 7) and my parents didn’t have to pay extra for the hotels. Then of course when I studied in another city. That was the first time I traveled alone. I was 17. We’ve also done trips to different cities in Finland. Cruises to Stockholm several times. 2008 we went to Germany. Then we’ve been on a Christmas cruise to Riga in Latvia. Went last Christmas too. First time without mother. Spent half a day in the city.  The only travel I’ve been doing lately was to Helsinki twice a month by train or bus when I studied photography there.

So why did I choose that subject, far-fetched dream? What do I complain about? Some people never get to see other places. I should be lucky that I have traveled somewhere. As any other travel fan, once you started you can’t stop. I like to travel. But you need money to do that. Which I don’t have. You also need courage. The same with that. If I had money to travel, just going somewhere is hard. With internet it’s easier to book trips but I don’t really trust those services. Traveling alone in this world, has its risks too. I’m not that adventurous either. Traveling in my own country is easier than going abroad. Being a single traveler is also more expensive. I’m not really into sharing a room with strangers. That’s where my introversion kicks in. It’s a burden from time to time.

You only live once sounds cliché but it’s true. My life won’t be less lived if I don’t travel to a lot of places. I don’t need that much excitement. But when I read or hear people talking about where they’ve been, I feel a bit jealous. Especially if they’ve been to a sport event. It’s positive jealousy. I feel happy for the person. I just wish I could have the money to travel more. Since I like travelling I wish I had a budget to do that. Who doesn’t like to see other parts of the world and stay in hotels where you don’t even have to tidy your own bed?

The way things are going on in my life, travel will remain a far-fetched dream. I don’t believe dreams can come true. At least my dreams won’t. It may sound pessimistic but with my luck I never getting anywhere. If it comes to friends, studying or finding a job, I’ve had no luck whatsoever. At least I’ve got some travel experiences. That’s something not everyone have. I got years to live so maybe one day I’ll get to travel more. If there’s a will, there’s a way. If I only were that brave and adventurous though. You also need luck and money to travel. Because let’s face it, you need luck to get a job that pays well and to travel you need money. The way the economics is at the moment, especially in Finland, to get those things is impossible. Unless I win the lottery which is even more far-fetched. The only trips I could afford would be cruises to Stockholm. But when you’re been on those 1000 of times, you get bored with it.

Being a photographer seeing other countries would be a dream come true. But again, no money. If I’ll never travel again I hope it will be at least to New Zealand. That’s been a dream of mine for years. Maybe one day I get there. If not, at least I haven’t stopped dreaming.