Tag: Club Introvert

I am an introvert, therefore I observe

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observed mongoose

Introversion is something that should be talked about over and over again. Many times people think I don’t observe but the truth is the other way around. It might look I’m not doing anything but I do notice my surroundings. If there are people around, I can hear what they are saying. When other people keep blabbing I observe. You can notice a lot of things by just listening. Even if I’m concentrated on something like writing, I still have my senses open. It’s like a secret weapon that fools everybody.

I might not talk a lot but I’m not hard of hearing. That goes for introverts in general. People think you don’t have anything in your head. It’s actually the opposite. There goes a lot. We just choose who we talk to. What’s the point talking about something you don’t have an opinion on? I hate the feeling when someone is expecting for you to say something.  Silence shouldn’t be awkward. What’s wrong being quiet anyway? If you’re a talkative person and the other is not, why don’t you say something instead of waiting for someone else to say something. You can’t force anyone to talk if they don’t have anything to say. I should try to say, blah blah when someone is expecting for me to say something. Or maybe make an annoying sound so they would rather be in silent. Because honestly I’m tired of people thinking I don’t talk much. I talk a lot if it’s a subject I like. You won’t be able to stop me. I only open up to people I know something about. I don’t talk to strangers. Only if I really have to.

If people would observe more, they could put themselves in someone else’s point of view. Now they just run around like headless chickens. Being a creative person, observing is my second nature. It gets better with age. More experience you get under your belt, more details you notice. You get a different perspective on life when you observe what is around you. It doesn’t matter if you’re extroverted or introverted. It takes realisation and experiencing things to be observent. This is what I observed and maybe one day someone else will too.

Authentic is better than fake

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Authentic sign

What I hate the most about people are the fake ones. Those who pretend to be your friend but as soon as you have problems, they leave. I never really had true friends. I had classmates I got along with but I never had a best friend who I could talk anything about. I had this friend in kindergarten and 1st year in school but then she moved to another city with her family. She could be my best friend. I was a bit upset she had to move so when she called, I didn’t want to talk to her. I doubt we would be friends now. She probably already have a family etc. so we wouldn’t have nothing in common. I don’t know why people don’t want to get to know me in real life. I’m authentic and don’t want to hurt anyone on purpose. I might be alone but I’m not lonely. There is a difference. If I suffered from it, things would be different.

I don’t want to pretend something I’m not. I’m not an actress who plays a role.  A lot of people post selfies of themselves for example but I don’t want to be like everyone else. I’m not gonna become extroverted because that’s what the society wants. Introversion shouldn’t be something embarrassing. We could spread awareness because there is too much negativity about it. Everybody can’t be talkative. It’s a shame being fake is more important than being authentic. Looking at tips on how to be in job interviews, they insist for you to act like you’re not you. You should be yourself but yet don’t be. The reason I fail in social situations is that I can’t act to be talkative. I shouldn’t need to say so much if I have nothing to say. People just have to accept I give short answers. I’ve never met anyone who’s on the same wavelength as I am so I don’t know how it feels to have a bosom pal. If it doesn’t click, it doesn’t click. I would rather be alone than having fake friends.

What you see it what you get. Being authentic is better than fake. There are too many people who don’t dare to be different because they’re told to be like anyone else. They rather follow the crowd than being judged. If that’s the way you want to live, then so be it. But I don’t want to. I want to be the person I am. Maybe that’s my way to rebel again the world. I’m not a follower but I’m not a leader either. I want to follow my own path. Everyone should have the right to choose their own ways without having to fake it. Not having those people around has made life much easier to live. Life is too short to have fakes around. Authentic people are the best and I’m glad I’ve met people like that in real life too.

Introduction to introversion

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yawning ferret
Looks like screaming but it’s yawning

The biggest mystery seems to be introversion. Like it’s something negative. I really need to fret about this a bit more. You won’t get hired because you’re not extroverted enough. It seems that people see you’re introverted as soon as they meet you. That’s what I’ve experienced at least. I hate meeting new people because it’s like it says introverted on my forehead. People notice straight away that I don’t say much and then they’ve already judged me. In job interviews (well that one I got last year) I got the feeling my answers weren’t that satisfying to the interviewer. I was too quiet. Like that’s a bad thing. I don’t know how long answers you need to have. I’m not gonna make things up that aren’t true. I don’t even get that many ideas into my head at one second. I’ll never get a job because I suck at interviews. Actually in interviews in general. It’s such a turn off to meet people because they seem to notice my introversion straight away.

If something would get me deeply depressed, it would be people suggesting me to change myself. My life purpose is not to entertain people. I shouldn’t need to explain myself to others. I’m tired of hiding my introversion and explain I’m not always quiet. But that’s what people see me as. When I introduce myself (like in school) it feels awkward and it can sound like I’m struggling with the words. Then after that, the others don’t want to talk to me. That’s what I dread the most when my graphic design studies begin in August in Helsinki Design School. Last time I introduced myself to strangers I thought maybe I didn’t say things clear enough. No one really said anything to me after that. Maybe the reasons are something else then I think. Sometimes I obsess about things like that and I can’t get it out of my head. It’s a shame people don’t even bother to get to know me because my first impression wasn’t good enough for them. Their loss anyway.

It’s weird that if a person is extroverted, it’s no big deal. You don’t even need to hide it. It’s a positive thing and no one really cares. But if you’re introverted, it’s the opposite. You’re not allowed to tell about your introversion because that will make you look bad. You have to act extroverted and be very talkative when it’s not in your nature. People wonder why someone doesn’t say much but they never wonder why someone talks too much. You can’t really be neither. You can’t be too quiet but you can’t be too loud either. Nothing is good enough but that’s how society works. People expect the impossible. It’s this and it’s that, there’s nothing in between. Life would be much more fun to live if everyone could be themselves. But people want to take the harder route, then the obvious one. Everyone knows there are different people in the world and yet they can’t accept it. They have the urge to put people into categories instead of letting people be what they are.

Dare to be different should be a world theme. If it was perfect that is. Humans just can’t stop nitpicking. If you’re not like them, they wonder why. It’s the questions and what others think of you which is the most annoying thing. If you tell an introvert to talk more, they will get even quieter. Telling a person what they are, makes them feel they’re not accepted. I guess the reason why introversion is seen as negative is the lack of awareness. It isn’t rocket science. It’s shouldn’t matter if you’re introverted or extroverted (or ambivert) because we’re all different personalities. No one is a typical one. We should work together and not against. There are too much of prejudices in the world anyway. We don’t need more of it.