Tag: Club Introvert

Mysterious ways

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Inscrutable handprint

Inscrutable, a word I learned today. One of the synonyms is mysterious. I looked it up. In this self-possessive age where people post anything about themselves online, there is no mystery left. It’s like marriage. If you tell everything about yourself at once, there’s nothing new to know about the person. You should get to know a person little by little. On the internet, you have a choice. You neither choose what you post or do the opposite. You also don’t need to follow the crowd. Daring to be different should be the new sexy.

I think it’s easier for an introvert to keep things to themselves. People might say you’re weird but what is so wrong with that? That what life is about, different people. What is weird to one person, it’s normal for another. Before judging, we should respect others for what they are. If someone wants to post everything about themselves, they should be allowed to. But they also need to think the about consequences. Thinking before posting is a better option. If someone wants to keep things private, they should be allowed to.

I don’t have the need to tell things online. I like moving in mysterious ways. Some things I can reveal about myself like I have on this blog. But I don’t want unnecessary attention. There’s been enough of attention in the past in real life. The internet is a big place and there is a lot of bad people. I’ve had to handle with a lot of a-holes and I don’t want to meet them online. That’s not the reason though. I’m just a private person. My parents gave me enough of attention so I don’t have to search for it elsewhere. I can share opinions and about experiences but that as far it goes. Honor the inscrutable, I say.

Agile but lazy

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st petersburg traffic
Saint Petersburg traffic 2016

I really have difficulties starting things and when I do, I hardly finish them. I’m such a lazy person. I can be agile on some things. Like thinking. My mind is full of different thoughts. It might look like I’m not doing anything but my brain is working nonstop. That is typical for an introvert. I don’t know about others but the reason I keep things to myself in a conversation is that the person can’t keep up with me. When I talk to my dad and change the subject, he thinks I’m still talking about the same thing even if I’m not. I usually keep a pause between subjects so he doesn’t get confused. I think before I speak so I don’t need to say things straight away. My mouth is faster than the sound so I have to repeat myself to others. I rather not say anything at all because I can’t stand repeating myself.

I prefer writing to talking. If I write my thoughts down by hand, my handwriting is hard to read. Sometimes I can’t even read my own handwriting. Writing on the computer is much more fun which is the reason why I write some of my fanfiction straight on the computer. It also saves a lot of time. When ideas come flooding, there is no stopping. Most of the agile I have is in the mind. I wish I could think less and just take a chance.

It feels like I’m really far behind everyone else in my age group. I’ve thought about things too much instead of doing something. I’m a dreamer and not a doer. I also change my mind a lot. Others have probably changed careers a few times already and I haven’t even started mine. Even people younger than me have had more job experience than I have. It’s no wonder they get the jobs I’ve applied to. When I don’t have enough motivation to do things, I just give up. It’s both laziness and the fear of failure. I could blame others for the problems I have but in the end, it’s really my own attitude I should work on.

I hate doing things in a hurry. I want to take my time. If you do things in a hurry, the result won’t be very good. I missed and forgot things because I did them in a haste. I only get frustrated and nervous. I don’t know why life must be so agile. People want to do things right this minute. Slowness can be agitating, like slow internet connection which drives me crazy sometimes. But everything doesn’t need to be done in a hurry. The world doesn’t end if you don’t do things at certain times. You don’t need to have a 20-year plan. People should live their life the way they see fit. If they want to have a family before 25 let them have it. If people want to stay single rest of their life, it’s their choice. Life would be much easier if we all accepted different ways to live. If my slowness bothers other people, it’s not my concern. I get things done my way and on my own time.

Advent calendar Box 19

Mia2 Comments

advent calendar 19

Every introvert can relate to this question. Why are you so quiet? There are reasons why we are but why do we need to explain it? Loud people don’t question themselves why they’re loud. Introverts don’t need to explain anything. People should really keep that question to themselves. We all can’t be loud, can we? Some of us need to think. The world has too much noise anyway. If someone is an introvert, let them be. There is no need to tell us.

You might just as well ask why some people wear certain clothes. Why they listen to certain music? Why some don’t care about certain things? And so on. Why is introversion such a problem for some? Even if they don’t mean to hurt your feelings, it still feels like it’s not acceptable to be quiet. When I was younger, some thought I’m quiet at home too. Well, I’m not. I have manners in public and I don’t need to be loud to feel good about myself.

Introverts don’t think they’re quiet. At least not me. I’m as loud as I can me, in my head. When someone says how quiet I am, I don’t have time to think what to reply so I don’t say anything. I don’t get upset at the person though. I usually start to think about it much later.  I have a lot of those ‘I wish I would have said that’ situations. Or like last night when I started to think about this. I have a lot of thought so if I had a conversation with someone, they couldn’t keep up. My subjects change rapidly in my head. Besides, the best conversations happen in my mind.

If someone asked me why I’m quiet, I could tell them a lot of reasons. I only talk when I have something to say. If no one asks questions I won’t say anything. Why I’m also quiet is because the subjects people talk about doesn’t interest me or I can’t relate to it. Why would I talk about something I don’t know anything about? I hate it when other people do it. If you don’t know what you’re really talking about, then you shouldn’t pretend you do. It will only make you look silly. People who really know me don’t think I’m quiet. You should really see me in my comfort zone. I’m not only an introvert but I’m also a Gemini. I’ve got two kinds of personalities. I don’t show emotion in public and when I do, it’s real.

We all should really stop categorising other people. In the end, we’re all human and we all do mistakes. You should accept introverts as much as extroverts. Not forgetting ambiverts. We should work together and not against. Why can’t we just all get along? We’re only here a short period of time and we should make the most if it, in harmony.