Tag: Club Introvert

Advent calendar Box 16

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advent calendar 16

Silent is golden, the saying goes. Some people seem to have forgotten that not everyone wants to make a big deal about themselves. Everyone doesn’t want to write and post photos of themselves on social media. Just because it’s there, it doesn’t mean you have to use it like everyone else. Introverts usually want to keep the most private things in private. Not everyone of course. There’s always one.

I don’t have the urge to talk about things that don’t really concern others. Besides, if you tell everything about yourself there is no mystery left. I’ve chosen to be silent on certain things. Sometimes I do tell about private things. Like the one with my sister and mother. But I wanted to share that so others could relate. I prefer posting my opinions more than facts about me. People who don’t know me think I’m always silent. If I was like that all the time, people would walk all over me. If someone tries to hurt me I defend myself. I think before I speak because if I said what was on my mind straight away, I would hurt someone’s feelings. What people mostly talk about is something I’m not interested in any way. When I suddenly say something other’s are surprised. I don’t know what’s so strange about that. I’m human and not a robot. I don’t need to follow the crowd. I say something when I have an opinion. If it’s a subject about I have no experience of, I don’t take part in the conversation. People should stop wondering why some people don’t say much. Instead, they should accept that not everyone has an opinion on everything they talk about. We’re all different and that shouldn’t even be an issue. Why must there always be noise anyway?

Sometimes silence is good. No one plans a murder out loud. That’s something I saw on Pinterest once. Actually, when I plan something, I keep it close to my chest. I don’t even tell people I know. I’m also good at keeping other people’s secrets. Who would I tell anyway? I wouldn’t post it on social media, that’s for sure. I have respect for other people’s privacy. If it’s about something illegal or someone hurting someone, then I won’t be silent. I have morals and I don’t accept everything. No one should be treated badly. I can sympathize with people who are being hurt. If you keep everything silent, nothing will get better. 

All the small things get mighty

Mia1 Comment

black and red cloudsWhat you never should say to an introvert “What could go wrong?” For some small things are no big deal. But for an introvert, even the tiniest thing feels mighty. When I was younger I was worried about a lot of things. Even going to the store was overwhelming. I think I suffered a mild social anxiety. I didn’t get panic attacks or anything like that. Maybe I was just shy. I felt more secure when my mother was with me. I still don’t like going to the store but you just have to. When I’m at the cash desk, I wish it would be over quickly. I pay with the debit card so I don’t have to play with money. That makes paying easier. If I do pay with cash, then I count them before going to the cash desk. The worst feeling is counting your money at the desk and making the cashier wait. I get this feeling that they’re staring at me even if they might not.

Being out in public is one thing but what’s even worse is talking on the phone. I can talk to someone I know easily but when it comes to calling a stranger, that’s the worst thing I know. I hate the feeling I get when I try to call. I get sweaty palms, my heart is beating faster and I think about everything that could go wrong. When someone says I should call to a workplace, I think no way. I don’t tell the person I can’t do it though. I rather forget the whole thing. Running away from unpleasant things is the easiest way. I’ve lost a lot of opportunities because of that. I never answer unknown numbers. The only one that calls, is my dad and telephone salespersons. But recently someone called and then sent a text message that I should call them back. I searched on the internet if the phone number was genuine and it was. Apparently, there was a job offer but I didn’t call back. No one has never called me because of that so I didn’t believe it was real. I don’t know where they had got my number since I haven’t signed in any job offer service. There’s LinkedIn but that’s been useless.

Introverts hate small talk. Talking nonsense is not in our nature. What I dislike the most about being an introvert is I never know how to start conversations. It feels like I’m the one who needs to say something. A simple ‘Hi’ is not enough. It’s really tiring to make up something when the other person doesn’t say anything either. Maybe it’s a Finnish thing. People are reserved and unless you’re not outspoken, they don’t care to get to know you. Having friends was important when I was a child. But as I got older, just meeting new people has been enough. I haven’t found anyone who has the same interest as me. Online it’s easy to find ‘your people’ but they’re usually in some other country. Finding people close by is the hardest part. Some get friends easier than others. For me finding friends has been a mighty problem. When you’ve been alone for so long, you get used to having no one. For some, it might not suit them but for me, it’s no problem at all. I rarely feel lonely. Meeting new people is stressful and I rather be without it.

Tallenna

Alone in my solitary

Mia3 Comments

man looking over citySolitary, the power for an introvert. People think when you’re alone, it means you’re lonely. Introverts aren’t more lonely than extroverts. You can have people around you but still feel lonely. Loneliness has nothing to do with introversion. Being around people is stressful. I rather be alone than trying to impress other people. I like being around people but there are a time and place for everything. I live in a city where solitarily is easy to find. You don’t even need a car to get there. The best place is in the woods and the other is a beach in early spring or early autumn. In a solitary place, you can think without distractions by other people or sounds. When you’re alone you can do anything without having to ask for permission. That’s the reason why I like living alone. I’ve had a few room mates when I’ve studied and it was hell. They were nice and all that but living with someone else is not my cup of tea.

For me, it’s very important to be independent. If I didn’t live alone I would have to consider the other person’s needs. More importantly, share the remote control. If I had a room mate they would bring their friends or boyfriends over and I would never be left in peace. Now I can walk around naked if I wanted to. Some people want a room mate so they wouldn’t be lonely and they could share the expenses. But I rather pay more than share a flat with someone else.

They say being alone is not good for your health. But for me it’s the other way around. I get stressed if I’m not alone. I don’t like being in a crowed place. Noisy people are the worst. Why some people have the urge to talk in a loud voice is something I’ve never understood. Have they lost their ability to talk at a lower volume? I’m not surprised the kind of music people listen to so there’s no wonder they can’t even hear their own voices anymore. Some love their voice so much they can’t stop talking. The best time is when there’s no noise at all. That’s better than meditating.

There are people who are afraid they’ll never find anyone so they even use dating services to find their Mr/Mrs Right. What’s so wrong being alone anyway. Some people are meant to be alone. If you feel lonely, get a pet. You don’t need to cook their meals, wash their clothes or any other things you need to do for another person. I like being alone in my solitary. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone but that thought is short-lived. Looking at other people’s lives, my options are so much better.

Tallenna

Tallenna

Tallenna