First, some good news. I passed the driving theory test yesterday. After Easter, I’ll get in touch with the teacher to schedule the driving lessons. There are 4 hours of it, and one part is in a simulator. I haven’t driven a car in 26 years, so I think I start with that one. I’m a bit nervous about that because I’ve never been in one. Maybe driving a real car can be the same. When those are done. Then the only one left is the driving test. I hope I’ll pass that the first try, but I doubt it. If I’m lucky, I will have a drivers license before my birthday in June. What a great birthday present that would be. If you have a little patience, things will follow. I wish I had it in other things too. Patience that is.
Since I was a child, I’ve been a bit impatient. It’s not. Get me things at this right moment. It’s more about giving up too easily. I wasn’t the best student in school. I had issues with certain subjects. Math was one of them. I had tutoring lessons in it. If you’re not good at something, you don’t like doing it. They say you can learn to become better at Math, but I’m not that excited to learn. You must like it to have enough motivation. I rather learn something else instead. As long as you know the basics and understand the value of money, you don’t need to learn all these Y plus X things. Unless you want to become a scientist or something like that. I never understood why you should learn other than how to count this plus this. The same with calculating things in your head. That’s what calculators are for. Math is like coding; I hate both of them. I make many mistakes, and then I just want to give up because things are too difficult.
I don’t know why I bother, but I’ve yet again applied for education. This time for an education called Code Academy. They teach you, that’s right, coding. I probably won’t get in. It’s a recruitment training program. There is a job-learning part where you can work for a company, either a workplace they find or a place the student can find. Only if someone wants the student to work for them, then you get chosen for the education. The problem with education is that you get your hopes up and search for information about the occupation. Then you won’t get chosen anyway. Even if you do get in, you still won’t find a job. So what is the point with educating yourself, besides learning something new? You get no job experience in your field no matter how much you study. It’s silly to start a new career when you haven’t even got anything from your current one. I want to do so many things, and most of them are connected somehow. I always studied creative things, so changing the path to another direction is needless. If it’s neither writing a job application or applying to a school, I’m never good at explaining in words about me and why I want things. I won’t expect too much about this education I applied to. The same with the job application for an IT support person. I don’t know enough of the technical stuff when it comes to computers. I’m not a a novice, but I’m no expert either. In coding things are different. I have studied it and used it too, but it doesn’t mean they will pick me for the education.
I don’t make goals at a certain time. For example, with the driving school. I can only hope I get the license before summer, but I won’t promise the exact date. It depends on so many things. I don’t know when I will get a driving lesson. The teacher said when she called last week that their schedule will become busy after two weeks. Then there is the driving test. The driving school is far from over. I have enough patience to get the licence in my own time. At least I’m closer to achieve it.
When you study something, you might think the real world is as easy. But in school, you get assignments made up by someone else. In real life, you have to make them up yourself. That’s the hard part. Especially when you only starting out you don’t have much to show. Only an assignment you had in school. I doubt you can get hired by only having those. If it was, I would probably have something already. Or maybe not. Who knows really.
Soon it’s been 2 years since I studied graphic design and 4 since web design. Not very impressive since I haven’t done much since then. Especially web design. When you see job adverts for web design jobs, it’s always something technical which is something we didn’t have that much of. It’s quite wrong to be called web designer when it’s actually called web developer. That’s something they didn’t teach in school. Even in school, I didn’t like coding. It’s like Math which is my weakest subject. It just requires too much difficult kind of thinking. I can do things with free themes, but I can’t do a whole website from scratch. I tried in school, but it was too stressful. I’ve thought about only having graphic design and photography in my services. It would mostly be about digital content. At first, I thought I would also have web design with WordPress but apparently making sites from finished themes are not recommended. It’s understandable because themes are updated, and then the job has gone to waste. It’s also a turn-off when employers only search for experienced designers, and they should know a lot about coding. And then it’s web developers and not web designers.
They should teach kids in school that the real world is different. You don’t know what you want to be when you grow up at 16. You can change your mind later. Maybe the profession you chose in your youth is not the right one for you, but you only realize it when you’re getting older. You can change careers any time you want. Today there are no jobs where you are for 30 years and then retire. When I was younger, I thought you needed to educate yourself to one profession and stick with it. But it wasn’t so at all. I don’t want to be one of those who stay in one profession and then, later on, discover you didn’t want to do it after all. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I have studied so many different things. Some might have had jobs during their education, but I couldn’t do it. I wanted to concentrate on my studies and have some free time too. So now I only have internships on my resume, and that’s apparently not good enough. At least I have something and too bad it’s not appreciated among others. Luckily there are other ways to get a job. It’s just a matter of courage to get things started. That is an assignment to do next.
First of all, I had the flu so I was tired to blog much. I still have some of it left but it’s getting better. Secondly, I’ve been busy doing something else but that’s beside the point.
The job interview I went to last week. I don’t think I got the job because I haven’t heard anything from it. But what else is new. This really has been a ponder year again. When one thing is finished, you should have another plan. I had ponder years before and I always managed to do something. I applied for employment training but no word from that either. I won’t be very disappointed if I don’t get that. I’ve changed my mind about that since I applied. It’s about coding and among other things which I don’t like that much anyway. It’s typical of me to get excited at something but then changing my mind about it. I ponder about different things for a long time before I decide anything. This time I both applied for a job and for the education I mentioned. But now the excitement is gone.
It’s the same with life choices I’ve made. I ponder and then decide but then I realise it’s not something I want to do after all. I want to focus on different things but I get no experience from anything because no one wants to give me the chance. Things you learn in school is not the same as you learn from life. I don’t ponder about why I’m not wanted because it’s not my fault people find me uninteresting. I don’t care what people think of me anyway. I can only be the person I am. I don’t find quilt in what I’ve chosen to study or how to live my life. I haven’t felt any pressure to be something I’m not. A lot of people do things just like that but someone in this world needs to be the ponder one. Problems with people today is that they don’t ponder about things a bit deeper anymore. They run around like they’re pants were on fire. Soon computers do all the thinking and humans walk around like zombies.
Sometimes you need to ponder about things deeper. Especially when it’s about important life decisions. Like something about your future or at least near-future plans. No one can make them for you. Your decisions might not please everyone but you’re not doing it for them anyway. You need to look out for number one, yourself (or your family if you have one) What’s outside that is second importance. Ponder about that.