No need to hold my hand

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Actually, this coronavirus is a blessing in some way for me. My free time from work is now extended to April 13. That means it’s also during my real holiday, which is Easter. No need to hold my hand because I always know what to do. It’s the same if I didn’t have a part-time job. The only thing that it’s different is that I still get paid. Another thing is that no one wants to shake your hand. I never really understood why you have to do that when you meet a new person anyway. The same with the hug thing. Then there are fewer crowds around and you can walk around in peace. I’m not a person who likes to show emotions in public. It depends on what it is though. Couples holding hands is another thing. Are they afraid they get lost from each other or what. I just see no pointing in it. Kissing in public is also gross. Each to their own. Personally, I wouldn’t do it in public no matter how much in love I was. You can tell someone you care without touching.

I don’t need to hold anyone’s hand when it comes to choices. I’ve chosen to go my own way and not depending on friends or classmates. I’ve studied things I wanted to study and not what others have wanted. Some teenagers who went to high school only because their best friend did. But I could never have done that. By the time I was 17 I wanted to get out of school. High school wasn’t for me. Besides, I hate reading and I hate Math too. I prefer doing things which is one of the reasons why I’ve chosen to study creative things. Even though was first education was in healthcare but I only went because my mother said it was at least something. I’m actually grateful for that now. Otherwise, things could have been different. Some people would probably say, at least you would have better job opportunities if I’ve continued to study health care instead. But I hate needles and not a fan of blood either. I always thought you should study things that interest you and not because it pays well or there are more jobs available. I will rather be unemployed than be in a job I don’t like. I don’t why you should be pushed to do something you know you’re not suitable to do.

Advice is always welcome but I rather do my own decisions. I’m not driven by money or ambition. I’m driven by independence and feeling good about the things I do. There is no need to hold my hand. I can found out things on my own. Maybe I need guidance at first but then I can do it by myself. Maybe not when it comes to writing articles or making leaflets about events at work though. I’m still not confident enough when it comes to that. I still haven’t got used to the workplace ways of doing things. Learning that is now on hold because of this crisis we have in the world at the moment. Who knows how long that will take. I don’t need any hand-holding to that either because bacteria are everywhere and washing your hands after you touch stuff is no brainer. Certain people just don’t see the obvious so you need to hold their hand. Metaphorically speaking of course.

When the flow of inspiration strikes

fingers holding a pencil
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Being a creative person has it’s good and bad sides. Bad is when you have no inspiration and no motivation. The best thing about it is when the flow of inspiration strikes. Those are the best days. Ideas come flooding in your head and you spend hours doing what you love. It can be writing or anything artistic. People who have these flows coming out only truly know how it feels. Other can probably imagine but they don’t really know how it is. You can’t just tell a person to create something in a minute. It takes longer than that. If you want things to be done properly you should have time to do it. Nothing good comes out of things when they are rushed. You can’t force out your creativity. Sometimes you have to wait for the flow and that’s something an ‘average’ person can’t handle.

Everyone is good at something and for me, writing is my passion. I don’t claim I’m the best because I’m not an author. I just write because I love it and I do it for fun. I especially love writing fiction. I have always had a good imagination. Writing stories was one of my favourite things in school. I always got good grades from the teachers. I got my inspirations from music, movies and daily things. It doesn’t really matter where. I can get an idea of anything. Even from strangers so people better beware because they can end up in one of my stories. OK, not really but almost. Fiction is made up and not a fact of real life. Even though sometimes when you think something won’t be real it actually does happen. I’ve been amazed by some of the characters I wrote about actually do exist in real life. It’s more about human behaviour than a real person. I’m no Agatha Christie so I don’t write crime stories like murder. Even though some of my characters do break the law.

Sometimes when I write a story I get writer’s block in the middle of a story but I get an idea what will happen after the unfinished chapter. That’s what has happened to ‘Teach me manners‘ It’s stuck now because I have written things what happens after the next episode. I can’t post it because the next one is incomplete. This is where the flow of inspiration ends. To create something I need the right moment to go on. If I don’t have the right feeling I struggle to get anything done. It’s not only about writing but it’s also photography. If I don’t have the right moment I don’t feel like doing it. That’s what I realised I can’t be a pro photographer. I don’t have the right passion. I also realised I wanted to do more than just photography. When I do get the flow going, I keep it running. Those are the best times. Having a break from one creativity thing and do the other is refreshing. It’s like taking a holiday and then come back with a lot of new ideas.

I go with the flow when I create something. It’s the same with this blog. I write when I have something to write about. That’s why I don’t want to be paid to blog. When you have it as a hobby there is no pressure to write. If you don’t feel like writing you don’t. You get to do other things and that is freedom to be creative when you feel it. In a way, the flow of inspiration is my hobby and when it strikes I’m glad I’m the creative one.

I’m creative because I can

Some are good in Math. Some are good at singing. Some can write music. Some can drive a Formula 1 car. Some are good at sports. But I’m good at creative things. Being creative doesn’t only mean drawing or painting very well. I can’t do any of those. You can be creative in a lot of things.

On Discover the subject is, why do you create? I could concentrate on why I write or why I photograph but since I can do more than just that, I’ll mix them up. Writing and photography do go hand in hand when it comes to blogging. Those are not the reasons why I do it. I’m only not  writing a blog but I also write fan fiction. Will come to that later. Writing is my way of expressive myself and also write down things I think about. It’s easier to write than talk. If you talk to a person there might be things you forget to say but when you write, you have time to think. That’s one the reasons why I write. Other reason is that it’s fun. You get creative when you think about different things. It starts with a thought and when you write it down it comes reality. Writing has taught me about story telling. There’s a start, a middle and an ending. I’ve also studied journalism and screen play writing which has also helped me. I’ve written since I was 7 years old. I used to have diaries where I wrote about my thoughts and what I’ve been through. Even about crushes I had. It’s kind of funny to read them now.

I’ve been writing fan fiction for years in English. Sometimes I also read them. It’s a great way to learn the language. I mostly write RPF (real person fiction) but I’ve tried a couple of other genres to. I write them because it’s fun and you learn how to write fiction. I only do it as a hobby. I don’t want to become an author. I’ve got so many ideas in my head so have to write them down. Like in blogging, it’s a way to express myself and get thoughts written down. Some read books, some write them. I read fan fiction and I write them. If I wouldn’t write down my imagination, I would go mad.
I mostly read RPF because that’s what I write. I’m not a fan of slash fiction because it’s just weird to read them.
Sometimes I post my fics online if I think they’re good enough. Sometimes I just write for myself. Don’t ask me where I get my inspiration from because that’s a bit private. I can tell you it’s about the person I’m writing about. Enough said. If someone doesn’t know who the person I’m writing about is, begins to get interest in them after reading my fics, then I’ve done something right. It has happened to me recently. I’ve read some fan fiction about an actor I have never paid that much attention to before. But now I see them in a totally different light after reading those. And the fics are made up and has nothing to do with the real person. Which can be a bit strange since it’s not really them.

Photography used to be something I did when I was on vacation or on events. It was never my hobby. I only started it as a hobby in later years. The first photo I took was when I was 6 years old. We were on holiday in Europe after my sister passed away. The 2 photos I took were taken in Switzerland or maybe it was Austria. It was a film camera so one of them was a bit blurry.
In 1990 I got my first own film camera. One of the first photos I took was only test photos but later I took it with me on holidays. Then it broke so the only camera I had was a video camera (which I also know how to use). The quality wasn’t the best. I became more interested in photography in 2001. I even went to school to study it but I quit because it wasn’t as I expected it to be. One of the teacher’s was old-school and refused to have anything to do with digital photography. Film was the one and only for him. That was one of the reason why I didn’t think photography was my thing after all. I wanted to become pro but this school just spoiled it all.
I only took up photography as a hobby in 2007 and 2008 I bought a DSLR because that’s what was recommended to me. People have also liked my photography but if the photo are professional enough, it’s a different matter. I don’t only want to take photos to my blog but also more professional one’s. I don’t know if I want to become a pro anymore because then you should photograph all the time. But something with photography would be nice.
When I haven’t photographed in ages, I can feel it in my bones. If I don’t have a camera then I use my tablet even if the quality in that isn’t the best. I would never had thought photography would be so important to me. Digital photography really has opened a lot of opportunities. Without that I would probably not be as eager as I am now. It gives you freedom to move around and make other people happy with your photos. So even if I don’t get paid to do it, photography will always be my main priority.

I always wanted to have a creative job so I’ve had problems finding my niche. Maybe I’m too picky but other kind of jobs bore me. I couldn’t do non-creative things for very long. I’ve studied graphic design but I can’t draw and I’m not very good at planning things either. I’m a creative person but not as creative as I liked. If I was, I would probably have a job by now. Creativity is not about getting your bills paid, it’s about the feeling you get when you create something. So I create because I can.