My path to becoming a graphic designer, or not

I have recently taken part in a few challenges on Behance and Instagram, so I haven’t had the time to blog. The first one mentioned is an Adobe Illustrator challenge. The other is a typography challenge which is once a year and for 36 days. There is a letter (and number later on) every day. You can use any tool you like and any way you want. If anyone is interested, you can see my work over here. There is a lot of great work other people have done. You can use the tag #36daysoftype on Instagram. The one of Behance about Illustrator has been a lot of fun, and I’ve learned new things. It ended last Friday, but the videos are still there. I also tried the Photoshop one, but I didn’t have time to do that too. There is also a chat on Discord where you can get feedback. That’s very important because graphic design is a learning process. You are never ready. Not only graphic design but also other things in life.

It feels like I’m always late. It took me years to find what I was looking for. I’ve tried different occupations, but I have never found something I felt passionate about. I wanted to do something different. Money hasn’t been a motive for me. I rather do something that makes me feel good. I want enough money so I can afford to live. I don’t believe in that having a job that pays you well. I will rather be without a job than be in a job I don’t like. During those years where I thought about what I want to do for a living, most people already found their things. I feel like I’m only starting out even if I’ve done things for years. I don’t know what my working title is. I have never had a graphic design job where I get paid, so I don’t know if I can call myself a graphic designer. I have only had clients in web design, but that was part of the education. Having a portfolio is an important thing in creativity. Looking at other people’s portfolios, it feels like mine is plain. I don’t have much to show, only school work. If I started with graphic design earlier, I would have something to show. You can’t go back in time. It’s not too late to get something done. You only need enough confidence in yourself. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but it isn’t easy. You still feel you’re not up for it. It doesn’t help either when you don’t get hired anywhere. Not even an internship.

On Discord, there is a chat about creative careers where you can post your Behance portfolio. Then you can also get feedback. There are a lot of great work people have done, and then there is me. It’s a bit of an embarrassment because mine isn’t that great. I don’t even dare to introduce myself because I don’t feel like a graphic designer. Even if the first time I studied graphic design in 2009. But I wasn’t doing any of it after 2011 when it ended. The same goes with web design, but I don’t want to do that after all. Another thing is what kind of projects would I do. It seems that a lot of people have branding and visual identities. Trying to be different from other designers is difficult. My confidence in becoming one myself is soon gonna break into pieces like glass. I’m running out of options. I probably will never get a job. I hardly get any follows on social media, so getting those in the professional won’t be easy. I don’t think I will get “discovered” on Behance or any other portfolio places. My path to becoming a graphic designer started too late, and it’s only in my head that someone would hire me for my work. I shouldn’t give up, though. We all go through different paths, and there is no right or wrong way to become something you want to be.

I know you're there. Why do you linger in the shadows?

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