So another education passed. Eleven months went by like a breeze. Like I posted yesterday (Sunday) I passed the graphic design education in Helsinki Design School. The portfolio presentation was awful though. I had written on a paper on what to say and had it with me in front of the class. But then I panicked and it went like this. “Here’s what I’ve done and that’s thank you” I didn’t say anything about the projects so I didn’t get any feedback. Only what kind of graphic design I would want to do and that I should make more projects to my portfolio. The others were much better at their presentations. Even them who felt nervous before. I just don’t know what happened to me. I wanted to get out of the situation as quickly as possible like many times before. I was so nervous and felt uncomfortable because people were looking at me. I was so disappointed by my presentation but the other student’s work was so much better than mine so I felt ashamed for mine. It felt I had no skills whatsoever. Some of the students hadn’t done any graphic design before school. Since I didn’t get any decent feedback I don’t know what my strength is in design. I don’t know what they are and I guess no one else knows either. Maybe my style is boring and amateurish. What was the most disappointing thing in Helsinki Design School was not finding my style. I don’t know if I have potential or should I quit with design altogether. I will regret my portfolio presentation forever.
Maybe finding a style doesn’t happen in 11 months for everyone. I develope slowly in everything and might get old before I find anything. Or even worse, never. My goals for this education didn’t actually come true. I learned new things but if I can use that knowledge in a job is a different matter. There were times when I felt really excited to be in this school but now not so much. I knew I wouldn’t become friends with anyone and also that I wouldn’t get connections. Honestly, I think the whole school flatter themselves too much. Don’t get me wrong. The school is good to learn new things and the atmosphere in the class is good. But it doesn’t get you discovered by employers. One of my classmates did get an internship through a teacher who taught there but she was the lucky one. I didn’t get a job after I studied photography in the same school and I’m sure I won’t get one this time either. You won’t find any magic beans there. It only makes you feel abandoned.
This experience shouldn’t discourage me but it does. Why should I even need a certain style? I like to do different things or I would be bored. I know what my style isn’t. That’s the easy part. The problem with the assignment was we only got feedback and after that nothing else. If you work with a client, you get several comments and that way you can make your design better. But with a teacher, you don’t get that. In the end, it doesn’t matter what feedback you got during an education because that’s only one opinion. It’s really about what kind of work you want to do. I know one day what my style will be and it will change many times. I work with what I’ve got. You never really graduate in this life because there’s always something new to learn. Knowing that Helsinki Design School was just one journey that now has come to an end. What will happened next is a mystery.
I have 9 days to finish my school assignments so I haven’t written the next bit about my holiday in Playa del Ingles. But it will come. It will take just some time. I’m just taking a break from my busy schedule to write this post. Busy in a way that I also have other things to do and places to go.
I finally reached 600 followers on this blog so thank you so much. I never thought I would get that many but 4-5 years later here it is. Time goes so fast I lost count how long I have blogged. According to the stats, this is the 6th year. At least I gained some experience from something.
Besides school work in Helsinki Design School is to make a portfolio. It’s part of the education. I asked my classmates on Facebook if anyone has started theirs but no one had. So I’m not the only one. It’s nice to know there are others in the same boat so you don’t need to feel alone. We have 4 more meetings in school before the portfolio presentations. The school ends on June 15. There is still time. Until the deadline is coming sooner than you think and then you’re screwed. I hope it won’t come to that. I already thought about in what format it’s gonna be so that’s better than nothing.
So there is the update. I’m mostly busy with thinking about design so my mind is not in writing about my holiday. As soon as my assignments are finished, then I can write about that. Until then I’m a busy bee. Mentally.
Another new year is here. It’s 2019 and another opportunity to plan ahead. But to anticipate the future is the hardest thing. Don’t ask me what I do in 5 years because I don’t even know what I do next week. I can only wish things but they won’t become reality. Life should be full a surprises and not something you plan ahead. People make bucket lists or make new years resolutions. I don’t make neither of them. It’s a waste of time and they never come true anyway. I don’t hesitate with decisions. I just hate rushing things.
Having so many disappointments in life, you don’t expect much. You appreciate the things you got. People usually complain about things they don’t have. I don’t want to be one of those people who doesn’t see anything good in anything. I always try to see good things in everything. I didn’t plan my life to be in the state it is now. But the past is the past. I only want to look forward. I can look back at the past for a moment but then move on.
There is at least one thing to look forward to this year. A certain thing that really is going to happen. That is the graphic design course I’m on. It ends in June. There is still things to learn and things to do. One is a portfolio that we’ve gonna present in front of the class. I hope that goes well because I don’t like public speaking. I’m not as nervous about that as I was before. Of course, it’s easy to say it now. I can never anticipate how things like that will go. I know when I get there. I haven’t started planning the portfolio yet so I don’t know what I put in it. It’s not the first time I make a portfolio so there are no problems in that. The thing is what work to put in it. The other thing is what to tell about the assignments I’ve done. Finding what your strength is also difficult. The best thing about presenting your portfolio is straight feedback from the teacher. It’s a long way to the presentation day so no need to stress about it.