Sometimes things doesn’t go the way you plan it. I’ve had dreams and ideas about what I want to do for a living. But there’s always something else happening. For me thoughts and ideas have changed through the years. What I wanted to do when I was a teen, doesn’t apply anymore. For example, I wanted to move abroad but I never got that far. I realized how much you have to do before you do. It was just too complicated and things are just so much better over here. I’m never been brave enough either. I guess the love for my country has got me to stay here.
There was a long time I wanted to become a pro photographer but after I studied photography in Helsinki Design School last year, I realized that’s probably not for me after all. It’s also a very competitive profession. There’s so many of them and I don’t have that much patience try to become a better photographer. You really have to have a very strong will to succeed in that business. You don’t photograph for yourself, you photograph for the client which is the downside. But don’t get me wrong, I still want to do something with photography but not as a professional. I don’t even think I’m that good. To become good, you need to practise but I’m not that enthusiastic. I’m a so-called “mood photographer” I only photograph when I feel like it. I don’t go around carrying the camera wherever I go. I take it with me if I’m going somewhere special. That’s one of the reasons why photography should only be a part of a job.
I’ve realized I can’t write or blog everyday because there’s always something wrong with the internet connection in the dorm where I live on weekdays. It keeps cutting off which is so annoying. I couldn’t write the blog about my studying in web design and I can’t take part in #everydayinspiration either because of slow or no connection at all. It feels like I’ve been without internet for a week when it’s actually only been one or 2 days. Things moves so fast over there so if you’re out of it for a while, you’ll miss quite a lot what goes on in the world. There’s too much information so you don’t really need to know everything. I only use internet at home. Some people seem to have the urge to be online wherever they go. Luckily I’m not one of those people. It’s no big deal if the internet is off. Sometimes you need a break from it. It’s like meeting a friend. It’s good to have but it’s also good to be a part for a while. That way things doesn’t get boring. That’s something people need to realize. Internet is not the whole world, it’s just a part of one.
Travel had always been popular. For pleasure, not business. It’s even easier now then it was before. Especially in Europe if your country is in the European Union where the currency is Euro. I have had my share of traveling. My family did those trips to Lapland to ski. We were there in the summer as well a few times. Then we’re traveled to Europe. But then I was a child and it was less expensive since I was 6 (or 7) and my parents didn’t have to pay extra for the hotels. Then of course when I studied in another city. That was the first time I traveled alone. I was 17. We’ve also done trips to different cities in Finland. Cruises to Stockholm several times. 2008 we went to Germany. Then we’ve been on a Christmas cruise to Riga in Latvia. Went last Christmas too. First time without mother. Spent half a day in the city. The only travel I’ve been doing lately was to Helsinki twice a month by train or bus when I studied photography there.
So why did I choose that subject, far-fetched dream? What do I complain about? Some people never get to see other places. I should be lucky that I have traveled somewhere. As any other travel fan, once you started you can’t stop. I like to travel. But you need money to do that. Which I don’t have. You also need courage. The same with that. If I had money to travel, just going somewhere is hard. With internet it’s easier to book trips but I don’t really trust those services. Traveling alone in this world, has its risks too. I’m not that adventurous either. Traveling in my own country is easier than going abroad. Being a single traveler is also more expensive. I’m not really into sharing a room with strangers. That’s where my introversion kicks in. It’s a burden from time to time.
You only live once sounds cliché but it’s true. My life won’t be less lived if I don’t travel to a lot of places. I don’t need that much excitement. But when I read or hear people talking about where they’ve been, I feel a bit jealous. Especially if they’ve been to a sport event. It’s positive jealousy. I feel happy for the person. I just wish I could have the money to travel more. Since I like travelling I wish I had a budget to do that. Who doesn’t like to see other parts of the world and stay in hotels where you don’t even have to tidy your own bed?
The way things are going on in my life, travel will remain a far-fetched dream. I don’t believe dreams can come true. At least my dreams won’t. It may sound pessimistic but with my luck I never getting anywhere. If it comes to friends, studying or finding a job, I’ve had no luck whatsoever. At least I’ve got some travel experiences. That’s something not everyone have. I got years to live so maybe one day I’ll get to travel more. If there’s a will, there’s a way. If I only were that brave and adventurous though. You also need luck and money to travel. Because let’s face it, you need luck to get a job that pays well and to travel you need money. The way the economics is at the moment, especially in Finland, to get those things is impossible. Unless I win the lottery which is even more far-fetched. The only trips I could afford would be cruises to Stockholm. But when you’re been on those 1000 of times, you get bored with it.
Being a photographer seeing other countries would be a dream come true. But again, no money. If I’ll never travel again I hope it will be at least to New Zealand. That’s been a dream of mine for years. Maybe one day I get there. If not, at least I haven’t stopped dreaming.