A balance between dreams and reality

big and small box balanced
Made in Canva

It’s been said to me my wishes are too unrealistic. Especially when I was younger and I didn’t know what I wanted to be. Maybe they are but I’ve always been a dreamer. It’s a balance between dreams and reality. I dream too much and get very disappointed when the reality hits. That’s one of the reasons why I stopped dreaming about big things. But being a dreamer has good sides too. I have a very good imagination which helps when you write fan fiction. I’ve always been good at making up stories. Writing in general. I prefer that to talking. Yesterday I read an old statement that the unemployment agency had made about me when I was younger. It said I was not being social enough at a workplace. I actually had a good laugh about other stuff they wrote. They probably thought I wasn’t fit for work because I didn’t have a qualification at the time. Thinking about it now years later they were so wrong about me. All those psychology tests I went through didn’t show the whole truth. They tried to fix me when I wasn’t even broken. Everyone has issues so I was no exception. Today I don’t even care what others think of me.

Sometimes I want to live in my little dream world but other times I want to be in this reality. If you begin to live in your dreams, you can begin to think the reality will be the same. That’s how stalking begins. Especially when you’re a teenager. Some might think they’re gonna marry their celebrity crushes but in reality, they will never meet them. If they did, nothing would happen. They wouldn’t fall head over heels over them as soon as they met their fan. In dreams it could happen but not in real life. You need to have your feet firmly on the ground and face the facts. You read about stalkers in real life where they follow their former partner and think they would take them back. When it comes to another person you can’t control them to feel the same about you. Life is not a finished script that everyone follows. Reality is more complicated than that.

Life would be perfect if things went as planned. You don’t always get what you want and you just need to move on. We get born, we get good things, we suffer and then we die. That’s life in short. A balance between dreams and reality. I only wish my efforts would pay off once in a while but they don’t. People shouldn’t wonder why my inner life is more active than the outside world. I live in my head for two reasons and those are, I’m an introvert and the other is, too disappointments in other people. I don’t want to use my energy to things that aren’t important to me. It’s a waste of time to spend time with people who have no interest in me whatsoever. Like a Pin on Pinterest said, I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. Reality has hit me so many times, dreams have become an escape. I’ve had bad times but I’m still here. Things could have gone the other way around but I still have my sanity. It’s because of my inner life and balancing dreams with reality. Besides, there must be someone with a clear head in this insane world. Everyone can’t be like a headless chicken with no common sense. People should be thankful for that.


When I realized

snickersbarcoverSometimes things doesn’t go the way you plan it. I’ve had dreams and ideas about what I want to do for a living. But there’s always something else happening. For me thoughts and ideas have changed through the years. What I wanted to do when I was a teen, doesn’t apply anymore. For example, I wanted to move abroad but I never got that far. I realized how much you have to do before you do. It was just too complicated and things are just so much better over here. I’m never been brave enough either. I guess the love for my country has got me to stay here.

There was a long time I wanted to become a pro photographer but after I studied photography in Helsinki Design School last year, I realized that’s probably not for me after all. It’s also a very competitive profession. There’s so many of them and I don’t have that much patience try to become a better photographer. You really have to have a very strong will to succeed in that business. You don’t photograph for yourself, you photograph for the client which is the downside. But don’t get me wrong, I still want to do something with photography but not as a professional. I don’t even think I’m that good. To become good, you need to practise but I’m not that enthusiastic. I’m a so-called “mood photographer” I only photograph when I feel like it. I don’t go around carrying the camera wherever I go. I take it with me if I’m going somewhere special. That’s one of the reasons why photography should only be a part of a job.

I’ve realized I can’t write or blog everyday because there’s always something wrong with the internet connection in the dorm where I live on weekdays. It keeps cutting off which is so annoying. I couldn’t write the blog about my studying in web design and I can’t take part in #everydayinspiration either because of slow or no connection at all. It feels like I’ve been without internet for a week when it’s actually only been one or 2 days. Things moves so fast over there so if you’re out of it for a while, you’ll miss quite a lot what goes on in the world. There’s too much information so you don’t really need to know everything. I only use internet at home. Some people seem to have the urge to be online wherever they go. Luckily I’m not one of those people. It’s no big deal if the internet is off. Sometimes you need a break from it. It’s like meeting a friend. It’s good to have but it’s also good to be a part for a while. That way things doesn’t get boring. That’s something people need to realize. Internet is not the whole world, it’s just a part of one.