Tag: dreams

Success? What is that?

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Made in Canva by me.

When someone says the word “success,” it reminds me that I have not had much of it. I don’t remember them. I don’t really know what that means.

I only remember negative things. I haven’t had success with friends, my career, or the things people usually do. But I don’t need to. I want to be different. For me, success is in small things. Such as.

I learned a lot, and I’ve experienced things that some people haven’t. And I mean good things. For example, I know how they make movies. I’ve studied screenplay writing, and we filmed a movie scene from the scripts we wrote. There was no time for mine, but it was fun to film.

I succeeded in not falling into bad habits like drinking alcohol, smoking, and doing drugs. I haven’t seen a point in it.

I succeeded in learning English. I know more English than I did when I first learned it. I was in 3rd or 4th grade. It was then that we began to learn English in Finland.

I succeeded in traveling with my parents. So far, I’ve been in at least 13 or 14 countries. All in Europe. Now that they have passed away, I go alone. But traveling is expensive, so I’ve only been on cruises to Stockholm. After my dad passed away two years ago, I went to Stockholm overnight. It was the first time I’d traveled abroad alone. The last time I went was on my birthday, June 2. Some people never go anywhere, like my next-door neighbors. Poor kids who never see the world. Not even the city they live in.

I succeeded in finding an occupation that I was looking for. It took years, and when I finally did, I didn’t get a job. No clients to start a business. And no money is coming in.

I succeeded in going to live concerts. When I was younger, I never went to concerts. I didn’t want to go into crowds. But then in 2017, I went to see Robbie Williams. And after that, I got the bug to go to concerts. My dream is to go abroad to see a concert, but I don’t have the money. Duran Duran is in Stockholm in the Autumn, but that will remain a dream.

Small successes like that. But success that other people might think is. A good job, a family, or fame and fortune. If you have no respect for others, including those who are different. Think you’re above others because you have it better than they do; success doesn’t matter.

Even if you don’t have big successes, small ones should be enough.

Book still to finish

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Finnish version of Lord of the rings book
Photo: Mia 2026

My dad bought me the Finnish version of the book, The Lord of the Rings, for Christmas. I don’t remember what year it was, but it was years ago. It was probably the time they did a movie version of the trilogy. He read the book in one night.

Me? I still haven’t finished reading it. I tried, but then I found it long-winded, and I stopped. I tried again once, but I still didn’t finish it. Now, years later, I’ve started to read it again. Recently, I’ve tried to read one chapter each day, but it’s slow. I just don’t have the patience to read thick books. I prefer movies. After you seen the Lord of the Rings movies several times, reading the book isn’t very tempting. I’m in The Two Towers book right now. This time, I will finish the book. No matter how long it takes.

I have books that I got from my mother and a few books from my cousin. Those were children’s books, such as stories by the Brothers Grimm (Hans and Gretel, Sleeping Beauty) and H.C. Andersen (The Ugly Duckling). I got the book ‘Heidi. Courage Mountain’ from my mother. It was based on a Charlie Sheen movie from 1989 with the same name. I’ve read that book a few times.

I used to tell my dad about what I had dreamt about during the night, so he bought me a book about dreams and what they mean. It’s a bit of fun, and I don’t take the book seriously. It’s interesting to know what the dreams might mean. My dreams can be weird sometimes. The book has different words, for example, if you dream about a person or a place, then it says what it might mean.

I don’t buy books; I go to the library. I own books that I have read a few times. They’re mostly biographies and books about the movies, The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. I have a library card, and I have read more books than I have in my adult life. I don’t read thick books. I prefer books that are easy to read and short. Recently, I’ve been reading Finnish comic strip books.

I have a bookshelf, but it’s more of a storage for other things than books.

Peter Pan never grew up and I won’t either

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plant growing
Photo by Gelgas Airlangga on Pexels.com

There are different ways to grow—in height, sideways, or mentally. In this case, it means what I want to be when I grow up. I don’t want to grow up because you need to stay childlike in your mind. Peter Pan didn’t grow up, and I won’t either. Life is a long learning process, and you’ll never graduate from it. You only do adult things because who else would do them. Some things you have to do, like paying bills or other responsibilities that come along with it. The worst thing about being an adult is looking for a job and thinking about what to do when you grow up. It’s easier if you already know from a young age. For some, it takes longer.

I have had dreams, but they have never come true. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Since I have never had a big dream come true, I have small ones. Life didn’t turn the way I imagined it. When I was a teenager, I thought I would have had a family at 25, but then I thought I would meet the pop star I had a crush on. I also thought I would move to England, but that didn’t happen. My priorities have changed since then. I’ve had dreams after that, too. I wanted to become a Formula One photographer, but that dream was unrealistic. I have spent my life thinking about what to do, and some might think I’ve missed out on what other people have been doing. But you can’t miss something you’ve never had. I didn’t want to be like everyone else, and I am happy with my choices. Some people are meant to be married, have 2,3 children and have a career, but that’s not me. I’m Peter Pan, for crying out loud. Well almost.

My current dream is not to be a job seeker. I hate looking for one job each month and then reporting it to the job search people—I don’t know what these people are called. They expect me to look for something that doesn’t exist, as I would get a job by applying to one. The whole job search is unpleasant because it’s a waste of time and energy. There is only one I should answer for, and that’s me. I don’t want anyone to follow what I’m doing, and if I don’t do what they want, they punish me for not doing enough. By punishment, I mean taking the benefits away. If you don’t apply to jobs they think you don’t want any. It’s not about wanting; it’s about having the possibility to get a job. I don’t want a job to have something to do during the day because I have plenty to do. I want to do something that has a meaning. Life is too short to waste on something you’re forced to do. I’ve had internships where I didn’t want to be, but it was good to have because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I got at least some job experience, even if employers don’t see it that way. My late mother always used to say you have to start somewhere, and I did. They still want me to apply for jobs that should be offered to young people who don’t know what they want. If I was 18 or more, jobs like that would be OK. But I want a real job with actual pay. I have diplomas that going to waste, and I didn’t study to fill my head with information. I want to put it to good use.

If you have the opportunity to do the things you want, you should do them. Therefore, I’m seriously thinking about becoming an entrepreneur because I want to be useful and make my own schedule. I don’t want to be stuck in this same spinning wheel for the rest of my life. I’ve thought about this for a long time and don’t want it to be a thought only. Nothing happens overnight, and I’m already working on it. This Peter Pan will fly and show you don’t need to be fully grown up to be who you truly are.