Things going up the spout

explosion
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Things never go the way I want to, so I shouldn’t plan anything. All ideas going up the spout. Is it a failure if you only thought about it, or should you do things first and then fail? I have done both. Failed at a thought and failed in things I’ve done. I passed educations and all that, but nothing to brag about. I have had expectations, but they went up the spout. In a way, I’m disappointed with how things have turned out in my life. But certain things just happen, and you only have to accept them. Everyone isn’t made to be anything special. What is success anyway? I don’t know what it means. Staying alive is a success. Getting through difficult times is a success. Keeping on blogging no matter what is a success. You don’t need to have success in the working life to feel it. The world is too work orientated. A job is not everything. It’s nice to have, but it shouldn’t define success. The best success I’ve had is getting a drivers license. It might not make headlines, but it’s great news for me. Especially when I failed to complete it years ago. The second time around is the best.

Other people can live their life the way they want as long as they don’t interfere in mine. I’m not made for living a life most people do. I’m a lone wolf. I’m the happiest when I can be myself. I don’t need people in my life. There is too much drama, and I’ve had enough of those. They say having friends is good for you, but not for me. It’s the other way for me. It was different when I was a child. Maybe they were important then, but I’ve managed without any so far. I’m tired of trying to please other people. The world is full of fake people who think they need to be something they’re not. The people I know personally are only acquaintances, so I wouldn’t call them friends. I don’t spend any time with them. They have their own life and friends. I haven’t seen my old schoolmates for decades, and I don’t want to either. They weren’t my friends. Only classmates I spent some time with. I have nothing in common with them anymore anyway. Why dwell in the past? Doing things alone is much better because then you can do what pleases you. There is always someone too lazy to do the same things I want to do. Travelling is probably the only thing I don’t want to do alone. Especially if it’s abroad.

I thought about entrepreneurship because I couldn’t find a job. I went to a course about it, but that was 3 years ago. Another idea went out the spout. Now I’m not that excited about it anymore. I just don’t have what it takes. I thought I could beat the odds, but then I started to think I can’t even get started, so how could I keep it up. Too many distractions. I signed up for light entrepreneurship service, but that was ages ago. I was excited at first. I could try entrepreneurship without the paperwork and things. But like always, I changed my thoughts about that too. Story of my life. I never get things done. I’ve tried to find work from somewhere else, but I can’t find anything. They say there is a lot of work out there. Yes, but in the wrong occupations. I can’t become something else overnight. The jobs are most of the time in some other city than your own. I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I’m fed up with all the job searches, so I rather want to do something fun and stress-free things. At least for now. So far, any ideas I’ve got has gone up the spout, and I have no energy to think about what to do next.

Look over here

over here sign
From Canva

I got my driver’s license card in the post last week. Now I feel like a real driver. I’ve driven my dad’s car a couple of times, and it’s different since it’s an older car. The first drive was to the car wash. It was a little scary to drive to the machine. Car wash machines have always been scary to me. When I was a kid, I waited outside. The big brushes scared me. Dad was with me. I don’t dare to drive the car alone until I learn to drive it. I’m glad the driving lessons and the driving test is over. I was too worried to make mistakes, so it was more nerve-wracking. The real driving starts now. I should drive a little every day, but I never seem to have the time. All that matter right now is that I have achieved something this year. It’s not over yet, though. The UX/UI design course is over soon. I only have one more video meeting left.

When one thing is over, there should be something else. But I don’t know what. It’s been so hot, so I haven’t had the strength to think about it that much. Summer is still on, so I don’t feel like thinking about what to do in the Autumn.

Passed the test

dart of 10 on dartboard
Made in Canva

I started in February, and now in July, I passed the driving test. I didn’t leave it halfway as I did about 26 years ago. The actual learning starts now. I had a lot of problems with the gears. In the driving test, the test person (or whatever they’re called) said I had used gear one on the motorway. I didn’t notice. I thought it was the 3rd gear. I didn’t have problems with them the last time I went to driving school. The parking wasn’t easy either. I am surprised I passed. It didn’t feel I deserved it. I felt numb, actually. The main thing was to get a drivers license, and I did. Now I have to learn how to drive my dad’s car. At least I know how the windows work. I opened them by mistake in the driving test, and I didn’t know how to close them—darn buttons. I had only driven the car and never used buttons on the vehicle. The vehicle of the school was newer than my dad’s. It’s more manual. If you want to drive an automatic, then you need to take a course on that separately. That means more expense. I already paid over 1000 euro for this course, so that should be enough.

I will still walk and use a bike. You can’t become lazy because you have a driver’s license. You need to keep in shape somehow. If I want to go somewhere further, then I can take the car. Especially if the weather is hot as it has been for ages now. Cycling is not fun when it’s like that. A car also has air conditioning, so it’s good too. I’m glad I achieved this. I also don’t need to go to driving lessons anymore. I have to learn to drive all by myself. It’s a bit unsettling since I haven’t driven alone before. It does help a bit for having driven a car before. When I had driving lessons, it was the teacher who said which way to go. I want to know where I’m going beforehand. I didn’t stop halfway like I do in most things. I’m really proud of myself for getting that license. I wish I didn’t stop halfway with other things. It usually ends before it even starts. I rather bump into trouble with life things than bumping into something with a car. Then the damage would cause true problems.