Things never go the way I want to, so I shouldn’t plan anything. All ideas going up the spout. Is it a failure if you only thought about it, or should you do things first and then fail? I have done both. Failed at a thought and failed in things I’ve done. I passed educations and all that, but nothing to brag about. I have had expectations, but they went up the spout. In a way, I’m disappointed with how things have turned out in my life. But certain things just happen, and you only have to accept them. Everyone isn’t made to be anything special. What is success anyway? I don’t know what it means. Staying alive is a success. Getting through difficult times is a success. Keeping on blogging no matter what is a success. You don’t need to have success in the working life to feel it. The world is too work orientated. A job is not everything. It’s nice to have, but it shouldn’t define success. The best success I’ve had is getting a drivers license. It might not make headlines, but it’s great news for me. Especially when I failed to complete it years ago. The second time around is the best.
Other people can live their life the way they want as long as they don’t interfere in mine. I’m not made for living a life most people do. I’m a lone wolf. I’m the happiest when I can be myself. I don’t need people in my life. There is too much drama, and I’ve had enough of those. They say having friends is good for you, but not for me. It’s the other way for me. It was different when I was a child. Maybe they were important then, but I’ve managed without any so far. I’m tired of trying to please other people. The world is full of fake people who think they need to be something they’re not. The people I know personally are only acquaintances, so I wouldn’t call them friends. I don’t spend any time with them. They have their own life and friends. I haven’t seen my old schoolmates for decades, and I don’t want to either. They weren’t my friends. Only classmates I spent some time with. I have nothing in common with them anymore anyway. Why dwell in the past? Doing things alone is much better because then you can do what pleases you. There is always someone too lazy to do the same things I want to do. Travelling is probably the only thing I don’t want to do alone. Especially if it’s abroad.
I thought about entrepreneurship because I couldn’t find a job. I went to a course about it, but that was 3 years ago. Another idea went out the spout. Now I’m not that excited about it anymore. I just don’t have what it takes. I thought I could beat the odds, but then I started to think I can’t even get started, so how could I keep it up. Too many distractions. I signed up for light entrepreneurship service, but that was ages ago. I was excited at first. I could try entrepreneurship without the paperwork and things. But like always, I changed my thoughts about that too. Story of my life. I never get things done. I’ve tried to find work from somewhere else, but I can’t find anything. They say there is a lot of work out there. Yes, but in the wrong occupations. I can’t become something else overnight. The jobs are most of the time in some other city than your own. I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I’m fed up with all the job searches, so I rather want to do something fun and stress-free things. At least for now. So far, any ideas I’ve got has gone up the spout, and I have no energy to think about what to do next.
I haven’t been writing this blog in a month. How fast time goes. There are several reasons. Summer heat (which I hate) Then driving school. The UX/UI design course. And frankly, I’ve been too tired to think about writing anything. It’s been too hot inside, so I’ve been outside where there is wind. I wish this heatwave would be over, but it’s getting hotter at the weekend. Maybe it will cool down next week. I don’t mind warmth, but when it’s over 25 celsius, it’s hell. At least it’s not about 50 like it is in Canada. I would feel like dying if it was like that over here. I wish I could hibernate until the heatwave is over. I wish you could control the weather. I just have to pull through. It can’t last forever. Days like this, I miss being cold.
I wouldn’t say I’m off from the blogging break. It’s only this post, but the next time can be any day. In other news. I will finally be doing the driving test on July 15. I will have a driving lesson before that on the same day. I hope I will pass on the first try. I’ve been watching videos and stuff. The driving lessons are pretty expensive, so I hope I don’t need to do them again. I started in February, so it would nice to finish driving school soon.
Some might think I suffer from some kind of encephalopathy. But it’s you and not me. My brain works just fine. I’m not the one who leaves things lying around in the street. I don’t litter in nature either. So who has something wrong with their minds? Sometimes you would think some piece is missing from their brains. How difficult is it to put trash in a bin? Especially now when people need to wear a mask. Some people don’t care and throw them everywhere. It’s disgusting to see those things on the street. The same goes for cigarette stubs. Even if the bin is near, they throw them on the ground. Littering in the first place is so uncivilised. What are people, animals? Even animals are cleaner than humans. It’s a disgrace. Adults teach kids to live around trash. No wonder oceans and seas are full of all kind of crap. Kids are our future, they say. I have no hope in them if they act the way they do now. It won’t help if only some youngsters care about the environment. We all should do something about it, or the future world will become a big trash can.
I like learning new things, but sometimes it can be something you didn’t expect. Yesterday, I had a driving lesson with a real car. It was quite difficult to drive it because it’s a new model. The handbrake is only a switch, and there is no key to start it. That’s only a button. To make the car move, you should lift the clutch up slowly. If you do it too fast, the car moves faster too. The same with the break. If you push it too hard, it jerks. When you have to use the clutch so much, your left leg gets tired. The whole lesson went to learn about the car and how to use the clutch. I drove around the block in a quiet street. There wasn’t any time to drive longer than that. I’m worried I might crash because the car wasn’t the same as I have driven before. I let the teacher drive back to the driving school. So I have to take at least 4 hours more of lessons because I won’t get past the test with only one drive. It’s a bit weird to learn to drive a newer car when you have a totally different one. Driving any car isn’t as easy as it looks. You need to know the gear by heart because you need to see where you are going. It’s not easy to see from your driving seat to the other side. Especially when you’re not experienced enough. When you’re driving, there is so much to do and see. I don’t know how someone can look on their mobile when they drive. It’s really dangerous to do so anyway.
At least I use my brain. Unlike certain others. You would think employers have a brain shortage of some kind because finding a job is like trying to make sense of something that is obvious to you but not to them. Having educations and good health doesn’t mean you will get hired. I’ve applied for a job, but I won’t get it because I don’t have experience. I don’t want it now anyway. It’s useless to use your brain cells to search for a job. It makes me go round a twist. Not as much as littering and people who don’t care about anything but themselves, though. They should have their brain checked. Maybe you can find some kind of encephalopathy in them. At least it’s not me; it’s you.