Achievement doesn’t come easy

Puzzle bits on a brown table
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Life is a challenge. To achieve something, you need to go through a long process. You can’t wait for things to happen. Achievement doesn’t come easy. It doesn’t need to be anything significant. Some people think that if you haven’t achieved anything big, you haven’t had any real success. But that doesn’t define it. If you’ve struggled through and overcome a problem, that’s an achievement. You don’t need to be wealthy, famous or popular among other people to feel you’ve succeeded in something.

My achievements might not mean anything to others, but for me, they’re everything. They are all my personal achievements. There have been times I wanted to quit, but I kept going anyway. I studied things I wanted, but there was always a doubt that it might not be the right one. I never wanted long-time studies. Two years are the longest. I couldn’t do something that took 4 years or more. Especially when I get older. It’s a shame that despite my efforts in all that studying, I have never got a job. Only one, but that was two years ago, and I was still technically unemployed. Maybe I’m just not that good after all. I don’t have any achievements when it comes to jobs. It feels like I’m being left out. If it’s a job search or posting things on social media. I just want to give them both up because it’s all in vain. Even blogging feels like a waste of time. It’s not easy to stay motivated when everybody else seems to succeed in what they do. Maybe people have forgotten that when someone posts online are supposed to be active. Like posts, maybe comment. Perhaps I’m too dull, and the things I post are uninteresting to others. It might sound pathetic, but I like my own posts on social media because then, at least, it doesn’t feel unnecessary.

It’s not easy trying to achieve something. Maybe it’s easier for some. For me, getting a driver’s license is a big deal. In a month, it’s been a year. I thought I never would get through the driving lessons and the theory. I failed it 26 years ago, but now it is easier. I wish people would have been more excited for me, but I guess it’s no big deal. I was glad to have achieved it. It’s gonna take a lot of practice to get better at it. I have only driven my dad’s car alone once, but that was only a short drive, and there wasn’t much traffic. Driving on the motorway is too scary, and I don’t like driving in traffic. It takes more than a year to learn the process of driving a car. As long as I don’t drive into something or someone, then it’s okay.

I enjoy the small achievements I get. Getting this post finished is one of them. I don’t know what else to do to get some attention to it, but I still write for myself, and that should be enough for me.

Bloganuary: Dreams are made of these

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Day 24. Sometimes I remember my dreams, but they disappear from the mind after a while. I usually dream about places I’ve been to and people I used to know. Before we buried my mother, she used to appear in them. After we did, they disappeared. But I still see her in my dreams. My dreams are also quite strange from time to time. They are in two parts. First, they’re in one place, and suddenly the scenes change. Sometimes they don’t make sense. I own a book about dreams and their meanings. Sometimes I look at it, but that’s only for fun. My dreams have no special meaning. Sometimes when I sleep, I don’t see any dreams. At least not what I remember.

Some people might hear talking in their dreams, but it’s only visual for me. Before I got a driver’s license, I used to have dreams where I drove a car, but I couldn’t find the breaks. The car went really fast. It was quite an awful dream. I don’t have premonition dreams, but this one came true. Last November, I drove on the highway. Suddenly, the gas pedal got stuck to the floor. My heart was beating fast, and it was so scary. Fortunately, there wasn’t any traffic. I carefully put on the break, and it slowed down. My dad was with me, so at least I wasn’t alone. The pedal got stuck in traffic once too. At least I didn’t crash into anyone. The mat on the floor had got under the gas pedal, which was why it got stuck.

I’m usually the spectator in my dreams, and no one sees me. It’s alright if it’s only an ordinary dream. But if it’s a dream about someone I like, I’m a little disappointed. But once, I had a dream where the person did see me, and we even spoke. It was about actor Tom Hiddleston.

I was in some public bathroom brushing my teeth with toothpaste, and he was there too. I said to him “I really hate toothpaste” (which I do in real life) He said something to me, but I don’t what. He was really nice to me.

It was a weird dream, but I was so happy he saw me. I wish I remembered what he said, though. That would have been even better. I have seen a dream about him later too, but it was from afar. Having a good dream after a night sleep makes you feel good the rest of the day. Having a bad dream makes you feel the opposite. Hopefully, I don’t see them very often. It would be nice if you could save your dreams somewhere, but that’s an impossible dream.

Bloganuary: Last time I left my comfort zone

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Day 3. As an introvert, the comfort zone is a familiar concept. Brave and ambitious people might not understand how difficult it is for a person to do something they’re not used to. It won’t help if you say what could happen because that won’t help. It takes time to get out of your comfort zone. You might be nervous or anxious. You rather not do it because you don’t like that feeling.

The first time I got out of my comfort zone was when I was 17. I moved to another town to study health care. It was an education I didn’t want to study. But my mother said I had to start somewhere, and she was right. It was right after school, and if I hadn’t got anything, who knows how my life would have been. The first week was awful. Everything was new, and I didn’t know anyone. It was a small town, and there was nothing to do. I was very homesick, so I called my mother and cried on the phone. But when I got to know my classmates and my roommate, I felt much better. The education was only one year which was all I could have taken.

As I got older, I have had been braver to step out of my comfort zone. I still like being there. In life, you need to grow; otherwise, you get nothing done. I’ve never been good at making decisions. I’m very indecisive, so it takes ages to get things done. Even if I know what I want to do, the comfort zone keeps holding me back. I’ve been thinking about entrepreneurship for a few years now, but I don’t get anything done. Instead, I’ve been lazy and tried to do something else besides looking for something to do. It will probably continue the same this year. I always tell myself I will start something at the beginning of the year, but I keep putting it off. I tried to search for a job, but I haven’t found anything to apply to. The last time I had a job was in 2020, and even that was only part-time.

The last time I left my comfort zone was last year when I got my driver’s licence and went to a carwash. When I was a child, I was scared of them. I never wanted to be in the car, so I waited outside. It was the big brushes I was afraid of. Now when I went, it didn’t go very well. I didn’t know how to drive inside the car wash. Luckily there was a man helping me. I had to reverse the car and drive back in again. It was a bit embarrassing, but it was the first I drove the car myself. It was my dad’s car, so I wasn’t familiar with it at that point. I wouldn’t want to use a car wash that often, but fortunately, you only need to do that once a year. Every time I drive in traffic, it’s always outside my comfort zone. I went to driving school 26 years ago, but I didn’t finish it. Now I know why. I didn’t like driving, among others. I feel nervous, and I don’t trust other drivers. I haven’t driven the car alone yet. My dad has been with me. I don’t drive the car very often anyway because you can go by bike or walk to get to places in my city.

This summer, I’m going to leave my comfort zone to go to two concerts. I first went to a real concert in 2018 when Robbie Williams was here. I had never been to a show before because I didn’t like big crowds. I’ve only been to free concerts where more than one performer has been there. I guess I got the ‘bug’ from that first concert because I didn’t hesitate to go to the next ones. I only hope they won’t be postponed because of covid. The Elton John one was moved because of that. When you can’t wait to get out of your comfort zone, that means you’re ready to do it more often. But it’s always nice to go back.