Tag: education

My motivation is not fiction

Mia3 Comments
Photo: Openverse

What motivates you?

Daily Writing Prombt

It’s easier to say what doesn’t motivate me because it depends on my mood. Feelings are usually controlling my life. Sometimes, I don’t feel like doing anything, but other times, my motivation is high. I like those days because then I know I’ve done something. When things don’t go the way I wish, I get frustrated. I don’t like doing things that are done in vain. I’ve studied things where the money went down the drain, even if I did learn something from those times. I didn’t get a job, which is the biggest lie ever. “Get a degree and the doors to heaven open” – kind of thing. It doesn’t work for everyone. Education is not the only factor that gets you a job. You also need luck and good connection skills. I only have the feeling people have something against me. That’s only fiction in my head. Maybe my motivation is not getting into a position some people are. People in the world have more significant issues than I do. The way things are going in the world, it would be no surprise if worse things could happen to me, too. Be happy with what you have because tomorrow, they might be gone.

I should know. All my family members are gone, and only me left. No one can take their place. When I go outside, I see why I want to go back inside. No one will give me the same security as my family did. What I miss the most about them is having someone to talk to. It’s not the same with other people. The only relative I have some contact with is my cousin, but she has her family and business to take care of. The last time I met her was at my dad’s memorial service. But if I wanted her help or something, then she would. I’m motivated without relatives. Most of them didn’t keep in touch after my sister died in 1983. I have managed without them, so I don’t need them either. I’m not part of the Modern Family TV series, after all. My dad was in contact with his half-sister, but he didn’t get in touch with her when he was in hospital. I couldn’t get any contact with her either after Dad died. She was over 90 years old, so maybe she didn’t live at home anymore, or perhaps she died. Her kids didn’t inform us about anything anyway. Nice relatives there. Who needs a relative bothering you all the time. It’s better to be estranged from relatives you were never close to anyway than trying to connect with people who don’t care anyway.

I can stay motivated as long as I can do it in peace. If too many distractions distract me, I don’t get things done and don’t like to rush things. Getting support from others keeps me motivated. My parents, especially my mother, were good at that. She told me I should do the best I could and that I could do anything that I put my mind to. My parents didn’t pressure me into any occupation, and I could make my own decisions. That’s what every parent should do, let their kids become anything they want. You don’t need to be the best. We all have our strengths, and we should focus on them. It’s a shame the world has become the way it is today. Defining success with how much you make or how many followers you have on social media. If you haven’t, you have failed and aren’t worth anything. There is so much greed and selfishness that it’s not funny anymore. If you don’t fight it, you’re part of the problem. It motivated me to be different from others. I hope I never become the person some people are. I could never be cruel intentionally because I have a conscience and sympathy for others. It comes from past experiences and a good upbringing. I wish I could do more than blog about the wrongs in the world, but that’s the closest I can get. It might not reach the world, but at least my motivation is not fiction. These are my genuine thoughts about this. I blog to share my thoughts with others, and when someone likes a post and maybe leaves a comment, I feel motivated to go on. Even if I don’t get any, I can still keep the mood on good terms. Worse things could happen like AI writing my posts instead of me. Then Terminator movies might come true. As long as I’m not a robot, things will be fine.

An interview about me

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I thought it would be fun if you could interview yourself. Asking yourself questions you wish someone would ask, but no one ever does. This is not a selfish act like a particular American presidential candidate does *cough* Trump *cough* It’s only a bit of fun, and maybe get to know me better. The questions are from Gemini (Google AI)

Questions to Get to Know You Better

General Interest

What are you passionate about?

I’m not passionate about anything. I have opinions and things I like to do, but I wouldn’t call them passions.

What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?

I listen to all kinds of music, except music styles where they scream. My favourite band is Duran Duran and Bon Jovi. My favourite singers are Robbie Williams and Bryan Adams. If I wrote every band and singer, it would take forever to write them down. Besides Robbie, Bryan and DD, I’ve been to Pet Shop Boys and Toto concerts. That might give you a general idea of what kind of music I listened to.

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

My prominent hobby is writing this blog. But I also do photography, write fan fiction, cycle, and watch movies.

What is your favourite book or movie?

I don’t read much, but I like biographies and books about different subjects. I love movies, and I have many favourites. (FYI; When I was 10 years old, I belonged to a movie club.) I love Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ve seen those movies several times on DVD. I also love The Hobbit movies, the most underrated trilogy ever.

Where would you like to travel if you could go anywhere in the world?

New Zeeland, but I probably never will. You need money to travel, and I can only afford cruises to Stockholm or Tallinn. Being unemployed sucks when it comes to money.

Personal and Background

What is your ideal day like?

I could sleep all day and stay up all night, but life is too short to do only that. It would be nice to do things I like, but you don’t get paid to do that.

What are you proud of achieving?

I might be proud of having a good upbringing and the courage to stay alive even if things weren’t always good.

What is something you’ve learned recently?

I feel that all my hard work on social media is being ignored. Maybe it’s the algorithms, or I’m not good enough to be liked for what I post there.

What’s one thing you’d like to improve about yourself?

I wish I weren’t so lazy about starting things. I also wish I could make decisions faster than I do now.

What kind of environment do you thrive in?

Where I can be alone most of the time.

Future Goals and Aspirations

What are your long-term goals?

To find peace. Since my dad died in February, I still have things to do. Some things take so long. I will sell my flat, but the cleaning and all that takes forever.

What kind of work environment do you prefer?

I need a place where I can do my work in peace. I can work if the music is on, but if someone is talking, it’s a different manner.

What motivates you in your career?

I don’t have a career. You need a job to have that.

What challenges are you excited to overcome?

Excited isn’t the word, but I was happy to finish or leave an education I didn’t like.

What do you hope to achieve in the next five years?

I don’t have a job, and it looks like I won’t either. I hope I can be an entrepreneur by then. But I haven’t even started yet, so maybe it won’t happen. If I do, I hope it succeeds fasten then in 5 years.

Deeper Questions

What makes you laugh?

Comedy. People that have a particular look on their faces in comedy shows or movies. Kelsey Grammar (Frasier) has the best one. That’s what made the show funny to this day. Also, Jim Carrey makes me laugh.

What are you grateful for in your life?

I had parents who let me be me. Without them, I’m not the person I am today. I’m also grateful for having a sister, even if I only had her for six years. Having both of my grandmothers was also a blessing. May they all rest in peace.

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear used to be dogs, but I got over it. Now, I don’t mind if one sniffs me. I used to be terrified if they got even close. My other fear was losing my parents, but now they’re gone anyway. At least I had them around while growing up. If I lost them as a teenager, then things could be different. Death is part of life, and one day, I will be gone, too. My biggest fear is that I get cancer like my mother or I will get some other illness with lots of pain. I also fear needles. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t donate blood or get a tattoo.

What is something you’re struggling with right now?

To go to bed early and wake up early, too. I don’t have a reason to get up when I don’t have a job.

What is your life philosophy?

You get born, you live a decent life, and then you die.

THE END

Internships are not considered as real jobs

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What jobs have you had?

Daily Writing Prompt

I read about that claim, but I disagree. Just because you haven’t been paid doesn’t mean it isn’t a real job. The only time I got paid was when I worked as a media assistant four years ago. Before that, I had only internships where I got 9 euros a day, plus unemployment benefits. Then, on-the-job learning was part of education. Those are better than no job experience at all. Finding paying jobs is like swimming in syrup. It’s sticky, and you feel like you’re in can’t get out of it.

I’ve had internships that I had to take to get work experience. At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I have more education than jobs. That’s the way it is, and I can’t change it. My first ever internship was in the kindergarten, but the only fun thing was being with the kids. They were so sweet. The rest wasn’t fun, so I won’t mention them. One of the first was in a net cafe, the most boring thing ever. There was nothing to do. I was supposed to help people with computers, but there were only a few customers. Other times, it was only sitting around and doing nothing. I also updated the memberships list on the computer. Once, I made a flyer about an event, but that’s about it.

The next job wasn’t much better but wasn’t as bad. It was mostly office work, posting things and so on. A few times, I took photos with a bad camera. Both of these jobs were in organisations, so they couldn’t pay. It was still a job or a workplace. That’s better than staying at home. At least I got something more than benefits.

Another internship was also in a boring place. It was a mail service business. I helped with packaging and updated customer contact information. Not a very exciting job. I didn’t like it, but I had to be there for about 2 months. When it ended, I was relieved.

The following internships involved education. One was in a local newspaper, where I studied visual expression for two years, between 2009 and 2011. We had on-the-job learning in the 2nd year. I did graphics for a local newspaper. Finished maps and infographics for the paper. I was a little disappointed I didn’t get to do anything graphic design or photography. In fact, it was boring, and I was too shy to say much to my co-workers. One said they could teach me to draw, but I never asked. I wish I did, but what was done is done. I was only happy I didn’t need to travel to school for a month.

In 2012, I was a photographer for another local newspaper. But they only let me be there for 2 weeks. They made me believe they would consider me for a more extended period, but they probably already had some students coming in. So disappointing, but at least I got a few photos in the newspaper that I still have. Even if it was for a short time, that was probably the best internship I had so far. I liked I didn’t have to stay in the office all day. That was the job I wanted to do, to do different things.

My last education-related on-the-job learning was in 2017 when I studied web design for a year. We had one in the Spring and the other in the Autumn. The first one, I had one client. I did web design, but it wasn’t easy since I don’t like coding. I still don’t. I got something done, though. The client was understanding. I got good feedback, so it was nice to read. For the one in the Autumn, I had two clients. It was crucial to have at least two because we would have a presentation of our work in front of evaluators to pass the course. I did web and graphic design. One was a remake of a WordPress site. The other was designing a logo and a new website with WordPress. I truly liked freelancing, and then I started to think about entrepreneurship, but that’s another story.

Those were the jobs I had. Internships are real jobs, and it’s a shame employers don’t appreciate them. It feels like they have syrup in their brains, so they can’t see the bigger picture. There can be other reasons, too, but that’s how it feels. All I can think is it’s their loss. It doesn’t make me feel better, but it does bring me some comfort.