Things that bother me

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What bothers you and why?

Daily Writing Prompt

First, an older post that the subject still bothers me.

Originally posted on March 11, 2019

Other things that bother me are that people don’t seem to care much about my latest post about the Bryan Adams concert and the summer of 24. I had to like my own, but I did that only to make myself feel better. OK, I can’t expect people to like every post I make. But sometimes I feel it’s all a waste of time. Spending time writing in a language that isn’t my own. I don’t know if this post will get much attention. It’s alright; at least I can get my thoughts down. People reading or not. July is probably a slow month anyway, so people are outside of everything.

What bothers me the most is employers’ not replying to applications. I sent one over a week ago through email, and still nothing. I guess there is no chance this time either. Using the time and energy of a job search wastes time. They can keep their jobs. I didn’t want to work there anyway. I’m too tired to wake up early. Being unemployed is much better than trying to fit in. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. I don’t want to do a job that I don’t want to do. I only get offered jobs that aren’t for me. Thinking about job search spoils the mood.

Kudos to those who bother reading this blog post. If you don’t, it’s OK. It won’t bother me. There is more to life than writing and reading blogs. It’s only one part of it. When things bother me, they go away after a while. I think about the good stuff and try to think positively. Things can’t stay bad forever. At least I can have faith in that thought.

Bloganuary: Dream job in a tangled web

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What’s your dream job?

Bloganuary 2024

Wouldn’t it be great if you got paid for sleeping? That would be a dream job for me. But getting back to reality. My dream job is in a tangled web. I like to do many things, which was difficult when I decided what kind of job I wanted. I always wanted to do something creative and something that wasn’t a regular job. I’ve studied this and that, but I had no luck when it came to getting job experience. They’ve mostly been short internships, but employers don’t appreciate them. I’ve never been a go-getter, so maybe I haven’t gotten anywhere because of that. I’ve had dream jobs, but they’ve changed through the years. Perhaps I’ve been naïve for thinking someone would give me a job after my different studies.

When I was 6, I wanted to become a baker because I liked to help Mum in the kitchen. But then I realised you need to get up early in the morning. I’m not a morning person. Once, as a kid, I wanted to own a candy/sweet shop because I thought I could eat them as much as I wanted. But of course, you can’t. It was only something I thought about. Some people know since they are kids what occupation they want and work for it to reach their goals. For some, it can change through the years. Maybe I’ve looked for something that doesn’t exist. When I finally knew what I wanted to do, I didn’t even get an internship to get field experience. Some employers I’ve sent applications to don’t even get in touch. Job search, in general, is a tangled web, and it’s mentally draining trying to impress people. Then you don’t even get a thank you note.

A dream job would be something where you can control what you do. You can work whenever you feel like it, and you would get paid enough so you wouldn’t need to worry about your financials. No one wants to admit they want a well-paid job without struggling to succeed. But you should also love what you do, regardless of your salary. I couldn’t do a job if I didn’t like doing it. I don’t want to be rich. I only want a job that I’m excited about. I’ve been in enough workplaces I didn’t want to be in. Life should be about what you enjoy and not what others want you to do. Money is nice, but it shouldn’t be the only motivation.

The direction is not align

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What gives you direction in life?

Daily Prompt

My life right now has no direction. Whatever I do or go, it’s a dead end. It’s controlled by the employers and the employment office. Try to align a life when you’re not given a desired direction. I should apply for one job each month, and I’ve done so. But they are open applications, so it’s only a thank you for it, and that’s it. You can’t get a job with that. Not in the line of field I’m in, at least. Maybe if you want to work in a store or a ‘normal’ job like that. It’s challenging to even find a job to apply for. They want people with work experience and with a super portfolio. It makes me feel like a loser, even if I don’t think I am. But that’s what a job search feels like. I don’t think I want to work in a company for several years anyway.

I try to live day by day and wait for the day I know things will happen. Next week it’s the filmmaking course and then later in the summer two pop concerts. There is no point in thinking about things that might not happen. Other people can’t take away the direction I want to go. I don’t want my life to be aligned because that’s boring. Ultimately, I choose in what direction to take my life, and no one can take that away.