When I feel the excitement of something it’s usually short-lived. I don’t know why. Maybe because my mind is all over the place. I’m never doing things with a passion. I have so many things I like so it’s difficult to choose just one to concentrate on. I get excited about one thing and then I realise it’s not what I want so it dries out. In some things, I get the excitement back after a break. One of them is reading. I got excited about getting a library card and read books. But now my excitement for book reading has calmed down. I have one book to read but I haven’t finished it yet even though there’s not much left. It’s the English version of ‘The Hobbit’ I have the Finnish version of it and I read it in about 3 days and I have already read it twice. I don’t why this one takes so long to read. I already renewed it once. I read one chapter yesterday. I guess I’m just a slow book reader and I get distracted a lot.
Having a short-live excitement is the worse when it comes to deciding what job to do. Photography was on my agenda for a long time. Until I studied it in 2014-2015 and realised I didn’t want to do it as a living. I got excited for web design and then graphic design but now it feels like I’m indifferent about that too. Even becoming an entrepreneur entered my mind but now the excitement isn’t the same. It’s still a backup plan though. I applied for a job that isn’t in my field but it seems that won’t happen either. It seems destiny is denying me to become anything. It gives and takes it away straight away.
One proof of my excitement being short-lived is writing this blog post. When I started writing it about 2 hours ago, I had full of ideas but now I don’t know what to write. All of that excitement is gone and it will stop right here.
When a Finn wins in sport or get excited of something, they don’t show emotion. The anticipation is there but we’re very good at hiding it. Unless there’s alcohol involved. Maybe it’s shyness or we’re taught of not getting too excited. Showing motion is seen as a bad thing. It’s getting better in the younger generation but still you’re not suppose jump up and down if you’re excited about something. If you do, then you’re probably drunk. Even if you’re smiling on the street, you’re seen as a lunatic. Foreigners think Finns are rude because they’re not like other people in the world. But just because you’re not acting exciting, doesn’t mean you’re not. We rejoice inside. We might clap or cheer for a moment but then move on. Our celebrations are more discrete than others. I’ve been in a couple of ice hockey games and the fans are the ones who cheer and make noise. Other viewers there only watch the game and if a goal is made, they might stand up and cheer. But most people only clap and sit still. In our sport events, there won’t be much singing and dancing like in other sports in other countries. It just isn’t common in our culture.
I used to be shy and acted the same way other Finns did at sport events. But as I got older and bolder, I wasn’t worried if someone noticed my excitement. I still wouldn’t cheer if someone else didn’t either. I would never dare to start and give an example to others. In that way I’m still a follower. As long as there’s other people around, I’m not worried about what others think.
I’m going next year to a Robbie Williams concert here in Finland. My first ever real concert I’ve been to. Unless it gets cancelled. I don’t know how I act there. Maybe I will only watch and listen or sing along. Since I never been to a concert with that many people in it, I have no idea how things can go. Finns can be loud when they want to so we’re not that cold inside. We’re not like in some countries where the audience just stands there listening and clap when the song is over. But like I wrote before, if there’s alcohol involved then people sure are more out there.
My excitements usually ends quite quickly. I’m very anticipated about things but when it comes around to it, I lose interest. Like this school I’m going to right now. I was so excited to be there but now it feels like I might not want to do it after all. It’s too hard. There’s a reason why I’m not very fond of studying. Nothing sticks in my head. I wish I could have one skill that I know I can do 100% so I didn’t have to study in school. I should be studying right now but I rather write this post or do something else. I get distracted easily and only want to do things that are fun. That’s always been my problem. I get really excited of something and the next I won’t even bother. If I do something I really like then I get back to it after doing something else. No hobbies of mine have never been a struggle so it’s not a depression. I just like different things and so what if I sometimes prefer doing something else for a change. I could have one hobby and stick with that but that’s not how I am. I love changes and I’m not afraid of it. When I really get anticipated in something, I do it for real.