Dreamy dreams of late

dreamy butterfly
Made in Canva

I’ve been a bit dreamy lately. The heat, things on TV and just laziness has been on my agenda lately. And writing fan fiction. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing things. But it’s summer and who have time to stay inside to read blogs. Or write them in this case. At least write decent blog posts. I also sleep late so I don’t have the time to do anything during the day. Besides, cooking dinner and sitting on the balcony because it’s too hot to sit inside, has taken all my time so I have been too tired to write any blog posts. Heat just makes me tired altogether.

Also, the movies theatres were opened again. I won 2 movies tickets earlier this year so I used them both. I went to see Star Wars: The empire strikes back and Bad Boys For life again. I’ve only seen the Star Wars movie on TV so it was nice to see it on the big screen. The safe distance in the theatre was 2 benches apart so you didn’t need to worry about the coronavirus. They don’t let in the same amount of customers inside the theatre as they normally do. I actually like this safe distance thing. I don’t like sitting close to someone else. You always only get one armrest and then you sit there feeling uncomfortably the whole movie. I usually go to the movies when there aren’t many people there. I buy my movie tickets online so I can choose where to sit. Or I get tickets for free. It’s not cheap to go to the movies. I belong to a movie club where you can get tickets a little cheaper from time to time. I also take part in a movie panel where you answer surveys and then you get money. They’re small amounts. Mostly under 1 euro. When you have at least 10 euros, you get a movie ticket. That’s how I got to go to the movies more often. I only watch movies I’m interested in.

And the last update of what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve been twice on a bike trip to pick up blueberries from the forest. They say there are a lot of blueberries but I didn’t find that many. It’s much harder to pick up berries than you would think. It would be easier to go to the store or the market to buy them. But when you pick them up yourself, you feel you’ve accomplished something. I got enough to put blueberries with vanilla ice cream though. When you walk around in the forest and try to search for berries, it takes time. Especially when you do it with your bare hand. The berries were quite small so I didn’t take them. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack. You almost need to crawl on all four because the berries are hidden under the leaves in the blueberry plant. There is a lot of bending down and then you’re not really alone. You get to fight off flies and mosquitos flying close to your ear. Then there is no wind in the deepest forest so you get sweaty as well. It’s totally exhausting to pick up berries. Somehow blueberries taste better when you picked them up yourself. I might go tomorrow for blueberry “hunting” to another place. Maybe they’ve already been picked. You won’t know if you don’t go and have a look.

An abandon plan opens a new one

cracked wall
Made in Canva. Image by Pexels from Pixabay

When you’re young you think you need to make final decisions about your future and stick with it. But in life, you never know. Sometimes you have to abandon a plan and start all over. It’s fine to change your mind. I’ve started a lot of things over again. If it’s about choosing an occupation or even starting a blog. A lot of people made bucket lists and if they don’t achieve them they feel they have failed. Life is not gonna be over. You can achieve them at any age. You don’t need to do everything before you’re 20 or 30. Not even in your life. Some things are impossible to achieve anyway. For example, everyone won’t invent something that still doesn’t exist. Your goals should be little things.

An abandon plan opens a new one and it can be something much better. I have many times abandoned my fanfictions and starting a new one. So I have quite a lot of unfinished stories I’ve posted online. I get new ideas and then I forget the old ones. It’s either boredom of the stories or my interests have changed. It can also be because I feel people aren’t reading them anymore. I don’t know if the new ideas are better though. I post them on AO3 (Archive of our own) and some older stories still get kudos even if I finished them ages ago. I use to post them on my fanfiction blog here on WordPress but it’s a bit difficult because my stories are quite long. I just can’t seem to write short stories. I plan it to be short but then when I get ideas, they keep on coming.

Before I started this blog I had a few but they didn’t pay off. You know what they say (or William Edward Hickson said), if you don’t first succeed, try try and again. So I did and here I am, still. I also have two on Tumblr but the whole place has gone downhill. I can’t find anything to post there. I had to start the main blog all over again so the old stuff I had there is gone. So no more pics of Tom Hiddleston. Not that I reblogged that very often. Now nothing interesting is coming on the Explore. It’s a place where you can find what is trending and recommendations for you. Since all the old things are gone on my blog the rest is gone too. I reblogged quite a lot but now there’s only boring stuff. I don’t bother searching for things to post myself either. Besides, Tumblr has always been a place for weird stuff. It was fun when I started to use it but now I’m quite bored with it. At least they banned pornographic stuff there. I hated it when people with half-naked photos of themselves started to follow my blog. I’m no prude but my blog wasn’t for people like that. The only thing I post there is this blog post but it’s probably going to deaf ears over there.

I wish I could make easy decisions with other things like I do with writing. I shouldn’t be worried about failing but I still do. With writing it doesn’t matter if I fail because it’s just a hobby but if I fail in life decisions things can go worse. Running out of money or end up on the street. That’s quite a radical example but it could happen. I think that’s one of the reasons why I keep thinking about becoming an entrepreneur or not. It’s easy to think about things in your head but the reality is much harder. I go back and forth with my thoughts but I can’t make a decision. As an unemployed, it’s not easy to start something because if you do, you get in trouble with the job centre. And other things could happen which I won’t get into. Some impatient person would probably be fed up with my indecisiveness already. No one should be hurried with deciding things. You should do them in your own time. Plans take time to fulfil. I wish I would have thought like this when I was younger. It would have saved a lot of time and less stress. Even though I don’t regret my past I wish I could have abandoned some things a bit faster than I did. What done is done.