Tag: graphic design

Another end of a road

MiaLeave a comment
misty road
Made in Canva

There are only 2 more meetings left in Helsinki Design School. In about 2 weeks it’s the portfolio presentation. I haven’t even started yet. I don’t even know what to put in it. I don’t feel any of my work is worth showing to other people. Especially one of the latest feedback I got was so disappointing. It was a tourist poster about my city. Apparently, I should have done brainstorming, sketching and all that. But that’s what I did. The teacher didn’t think there was an idea in it. Whatever that means. I think it was. I lived in my city all my life so I should know what it’s famous for. But OK, that’s one opinion about the poster but still it feels all my work was for nothing. It wasn’t easy to do it. Drawing has never been my strongest thing so maybe I shouldn’t do any of that. The rest of my school work has been OK but I should make them a bit better before putting any of it in a portfolio. I just don’t know if I am able to do them because the time is so limited.

These 11 months have gone quite fast. Soon it’s another end of a road and it’s time to drift away to something else again. It only feels like I haven’t learned anything and if I have, I’ve forgotten about it. At one point I was quite excited about graphic design but now it feels like I will never get better at it. I’m always doubting in my mind that no one will never want to hire me or pay for my work. Once an amateur, always an amateur. I feel I have no talent and my designs are crap. A lot of people think in some time of their life that they’re not any good. When you feel the worse, you don’t think about that. It’s only when you talk to someone about it or you read about it online, you realise you’re not alone with your thoughts. I’m waiting for someone to say I don’t have what it takes and I should do something else. Maybe people just want to be kind and not telling me the truth.

I shouldn’t forget why I studied graphic design in the first place. It wasn’t because I wanted to work in print. I only wanted it to be part of web design and it still is. I’m more into digital graphic design because print is much more complicated. I’m not really sure about web design either anymore. I haven’t done any of it in 2 years. Unless you count this blog. I don’t know if I’ve even good at web design. It’s too technical for my taste. That’s another reason why I chose to study graphic design. I don’t really know what I want to do. This road is ending and I don’t know what road I’ll find next. Maybe I’m back to square one which is a place I do not want to be in at this age. Now I want to think about the portfolio thing and think about the next step some other time.

Please drop me a bag of confidence at my door

Mia2 Comments
confidence word in a bag
Made in Canva

I wish I was as confident in design as I am at writing fan fiction. I can use my imagination in that but not when it comes to other creative things. I feel I never gonna be any good. Even in the school assignments we have at Helsinki Design School feel like I have no talent at all. I can do crap probably but nothing someone would pay me for. Especially when it comes to drawing and illustrations. One of the assignments is to make a poster about your city or make something up. It should work as an outdoor advertisement. I make one of my city. I have this thought in my head the feedback will be “it looks too computerized” Like I got in the feedback on the Christmas card I did. I have the ideas but when it comes to making them, it’s totally different. Drawing on a computer isn’t easy when you only have a mouse. But I don’t think I can draw that well on a paper either. Please drop me a bag of confidence at my door because all I do is putting myself down. Posting drawings online or photos don’t get much attention. People just want to be nice instead of telling me how bad they look. If you got nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all, I suppose. The ability to draw isn’t important in graphic design though. There are so many better ones out there. If every designer could draw, there would be more unemployed illustrators. I shouldn’t feel bad about not knowing to draw because I’m good at other things.

There are so many good graphic designers so you feel like you’re garbage compared to them. I watched on Youtube a few portfolios where people show with motion graphics what they’ve studied and what projects they worked on. Most of them are in their 20s. How can you compete with them? They get a job before you ever do. I wish I knew at 20 what I wanted to do. Maybe I would got better or realised I’m not good enough and I would start over with something else. You need to have good ideas when you work with design but mine is not. I never get any new perspectives or fresh ideas. It feels like I’m not made for design. But there are other people who think the same some time in their life. It’s called imposter syndrome. Anyone can feel they’re not good enough. Also in life, you can feel you’re lying to yourself about your abilities. You don’t get better overnight. It takes time. I just hope it won’t take for years for me.

Design is not the only thing I don’t have enough confidence in. Also starting something on my own. It seems I won’t find a job in the open market. All they want is someone with years of experience and almost perfect skills. And young of course. Finland now has a new government but that won’t change anything when it comes to job search. If you have your own business there’s a lot of bureaucracy and also all about making a brand etc. It would be easier to get a job with someone else but when you can’t get one, what can you do. I keep thinking about this situation I’m in and there is no way out. If I don’t have confidence in my graphic design skills, how can I feel confident in entrepreneurship? I keep my goals small and one of them is finishing this graphic design education. What comes after that is a mystery.

An angle in studying in Helsinki Design School

Mia1 Comment

helsinki design school logo

I’m gonna tell you a little about how it is to study in Helsinki Design School. First a bit about it. It’s a private school and it’s situated in the centre of Helsinki. In school, you can study e.g. fashion design, interior design, photography and graphic design (the one I study right now) I’ve also studied photography there so my angle of the educations is from experience. We meet twice a month (Friday and Saturday) and we get two assignment that needs to be finished until the next meeting. The teachers give professional feedback. The grades are from 1 to 5. The education language is Finnish.

There are different angles to look at it. I’ve read online about how someone thinks the school doesn’t give you a real diploma. Another one is, people shouldn’t waste time and money studying there. Go to a real school, they say. Well, Helsinki Design School is real. Just because it’s a private school, it doesn’t mean it’s fake. Private schools in Finland is not that common so people think only local schools have real educations. But that’s where they are wrong. So it’s isn’t cheap to study there but there are much more expensive schools in the world. Besides, here the teachers are professionals in their own field. They know how it is in the design business. You get to go to places you wouldn’t usually go. The school is under a year but you get to learn a lot. It really depends on how you look at things. If you look for instant success, you’re in the wrong school. If you’re not looking for a long education or you’re not really sure what you want to be, then this school is good for you.

So far the graphic design education has been interesting. Even if some of the subjects are familiar (like the Adobe programs) I still have learned new things. I always got the assignment ready in time. I’ve expected the grades would be the lowest which is 1 but I haven’t. It just proves I’m not that bad after all. My goal is not getting a 5 because grades are only numbers. It’s the feedback that counts. It’s a big plus that I know how to use the tools so I’m not totally novice. If I was a beginner the assignments would probably be more difficult to do. We are about 40 students so the class is quite full. But you can always ask your classmates if you need help. It’s always nice to go to school when the subjects are interesting and the atmosphere in the classroom is great. I didn’t regret the photography course and I don’t regret this one either. If your hopes are too high, it can disappoint. During the course, we’re making a portfolio of our best work and we’re gonna present it in front of the class the second last day. This Friday and Saturday it’s time to wake up early again but it’s worth it. I’m actually really excited to go back and learn new things.

Every school has its downsides and Helsinki Design School is no exception. I know a few who didn’t get what they wanted from the photography course. Some even quit because it disappointed them so much. In some things, it did disappoint me but that’s not really the school’s fault. The course was quite new then and it had its downside. It didn’t help me get a job or contacts. Some employers don’t really appreciate people who studied at this school which is a shame since you really do learn how the industry works. What I did get from this school was working in a photo studio, old school photography and visiting an advertising agency. It also ensured me that photography is not something I want to do for a living after all. I don’t remember much about what I learned there though. Some have found success after they went to this school so maybe the school isn’t as useless as someone might think.

I don’t look for success. I applied because I wanted to add another skill to my resume. I’m not satisfied with only one skill. I’m the happiest when I can do different things. Versatility is the key and that’s the reason why I want to learn different things. Helsinki Design School is perfect for me. I don’t have time to study for years. The length of the education is long enough and I can do other things too. That’s why I applied for the internship I wrote about in an earlier post. (FYI, I did get an interview) It would be a great addition to this education. In school, you learn the basics but you learn the best in a real life situation. Every person needs the motivation to continue with things they like the best and this is mine.