A bit of this and that

surfer inside a wave
Photo by Kammeran Gonzalez-Keola on Pexels.com

Aquadynamic is a problematic word to make a post about. But I can describe my current emotions. If you haven’t noticed, it was a month ago that I posted on this blog. I don’t know, but somehow I haven’t had the right feeling to write anything. Let’s just say life has come before everything else. My filmmaking education started at Helsinki Design School last week. The first meeting was last Wednesday and Thursday. I think it went well. My schoolmates are OK, I guess. Getting to know people is difficult when you hardly have any breaks. Lunch break, perhaps, but we have different tastes. Since it’s in Helsinki, I like to walk in the city alone. I know the centre by heart since I’ve been there many times. I do some sightseeing and go to school. Two flies at one hit, so to speak. The education in itself is engaging. I already know something about filmmaking since I’ve studied screenplay writing, but a repeat doesn’t hurt. There will be something new too. We get assignments that we have to do to pass the course. The good thing about studying film is that you can watch movies or movie scenes. The problem is trying to analyse scenes. That’s what the assignments we have this time. We have two tasks since it was two days. The deadline is November 18. Our next meeting is on Nov. 17. Before that, I have no contact with my schoolmates. They all have WhatsApp, but I don’t. Maybe I should get it, too, so I don’t get left out. I don’t have any use for it, but perhaps I could make an exception this time.

Another thing I’ve done recently was going to an ice hockey game. The local team organisation turned 100 years old last Saturday. The organisation contain several different sports teams. One of them is an ice hockey team. It was an anniversary match, so there were celebrations before the game started. There were former players, including Saku Koivu. If you follow ice hockey or the news in general, you might know who it is. He used to play in NHL, in Montreal Canadiens, to be exact. Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony. The match was won by our team in overtime, 1-0. I don’t go to games that often. Maybe once or twice a year. But when I do, I enjoy every moment.

I’m going to see the movie ‘Amsterdam’ tomorrow afternoon (October 19). It features Christian Bale. I don’t know what it is about, though. I want to be surprised. I watch almost anything that Bale is in. There are only a few I haven’t seen, and one of them is ‘American psycho’ That movie is too creepy for my taste. It’s pretty expensive to go to the movies. I belong to a movie panel where they send surveys to take, and then you get small amounts of money. When you “collected” 10 euros, you get a free movie ticket. Sometimes you need to pay 3 euros, but that’s a small price to pay. I’ve already seen 4 movies this year. Tomorrow it’s the 5th time. I also went to the movies during covid, but not so often. I choose what movies to watch. Sometimes it’s not worth going to the movies because they will be shown on TV or streaming services anyway. Nothing beats a movie theatre, though. It’s for the big screen that makes a movie unique. Life without entertainment is no life at all.

I already have plans for next year. I’m going to see Robbie Williams again on March 5. The last time he was here was in 2017. I thought then that I wished I could see him live one day again, and the day did come. It will be the first time I’ve seen an artist twice. When opportunity knocks, take it, I would say. To think that I didn’t like big crowds when I was younger. I never thought I would, but I guess age makes you braver. You get used to it when you get out of your comfort zone more often. It’s pretty nice out there, after all.

My unearthly plans for studies

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I must be crazy for applying for the 3rd time for the same Helsinki Design School, but there I am again. I didn’t get a job after studying there for the last two. A lot of new experiences, yes, but that’s about it. This time it’s about making movies and the things that go with it. Some might think spending money on this school is wasted, but it’s my money. I don’t have time to study for more than a year. I get to go to places that I wouldn’t usually get to. Last time I got to go to an advertising company and a print company. Maybe it’s just another education to fill my resume, but at least I do something. It’s a part-time education, so I can search for employment or do something else on the side. I love learning new things. Call it unearthly, but that’s the way it is.

One of my first educations after elementary school was screenplay writing. There was also about filming and editing. I’ve loved movies since I was a kid, so it was natural that I applied for education about them. At the time, I thought about becoming a screenplay writer, but then my interests got elsewhere. I’ve seen behind-the-scenes footage for different movies a lot of times. People think it’s easy to make movies, but there are so many things you need to do. I studied the subject a long time ago so this education I’m going to will be a good update. I only recently realized that what I’ve studied in the past has a lot to do with movies. There are writing, graphic design and photography. The only thing that is missing is sounds, music and wardrobe. There are a lot of exciting things to study in the training program.

The education takes 11 months. Meeting in school two times a month and self-studying. There will also be visiting a film studio and professionals as teachers. There will be early mornings for me again, but in a way, they can be pretty nice. The education begins on October 12 and ends in August 2023. I’m looking forward to it. At least I have that if I don’t find something else to do. I don’t study anymore to get a job; I learn for myself. It’s only a plus side if I do get something else.

Narrowing down is the hardest thing

two yellow lines on asphalt
Photo: Andrew Martin Pixabay

When you’re a person who likes to do more than one thing in their life, narrowing them down is the hardest thing. Sometimes I wish I could narrow my interests, but I’m not that kind of person. I could have achieved so much more if I had only concentrated on a few things. It feels like time is running out, and I don’t have time to do anything. I need to have time to be lazy too. I thought I wanted to be one thing, but my interests got somewhere else. That’s how my life has been. So many choices but so little time. Maybe one of the reasons why I have had so many problems with decisions is that I think the grass is greener on the other side. Perhaps I’ve been too unrealistic with what I’ve wanted to do in my life. It isn’t a lack of support from other people. I subconsciously don’t dare to do things because I’m too scared of failing. Or maybe I’m just too lazy. It can also be like that because I failed many times, so I don’t want to go through it again. I know when you fall, you get up again, but still, I don’t get anything done.

I could have narrowed things down, but I like to be versatile. I never wanted to have an ordinary job, so it was difficult to know what to study. When I finally do, that’s not enough either. The reality is that some people are narrow-minded, even if they might think that they aren’t. Their opinion is that you need to have specific education and a certain amount of job experience to be good enough to be in their little group known as ‘their business’. You need to be a student or have an amount of experience to even get an internship. Neither way, you can’t gain experience if you’re not allowed to practice your skills in a job. I’ve started to believe I’m not meant to be a graphic designer. At Helsinki Design School, where I studied some years ago, I didn’t get the encouragement I expected. I got the assumption that I’m only average compared to the others. One time I got feedback on a poster I made about my city from one of the teachers. I should have done some research, and she wouldn’t have put it on her wall. I know my town, so there is no need for it. I just think she didn’t understand my style. One opinion doesn’t make me believe I’m bad at graphic design. Drawing isn’t my strong point anyway. It makes you think twice, though. It’s the same with photography. I doubt my skills in that too. Seeing other people’s work doesn’t help me either. It’s a little depressing. It makes me think I’m not good enough at anything. It feels like I’m an outcast and don’t belong to this creative business club. Maybe I have wasted my time and life thinking I have what it takes to be a graphic designer. Or any other job where design is concerned.

It’s a positive thing to have knowledge of many things instead of only having one narrow one. Both have a good and a bad side. If you know about many things, it’s also more challenging to choose between them. If you have a narrowed skill, it’s easier to improve that. Either way, both are needed. If there is something you can’t do, there is always someone who can. I only wish someone could have some use for my skills in the workplace, but I guess there isn’t. Too bad for them.