Tag: helsinki design school

Another end of a road

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misty road
Made in Canva

There are only 2 more meetings left in Helsinki Design School. In about 2 weeks it’s the portfolio presentation. I haven’t even started yet. I don’t even know what to put in it. I don’t feel any of my work is worth showing to other people. Especially one of the latest feedback I got was so disappointing. It was a tourist poster about my city. Apparently, I should have done brainstorming, sketching and all that. But that’s what I did. The teacher didn’t think there was an idea in it. Whatever that means. I think it was. I lived in my city all my life so I should know what it’s famous for. But OK, that’s one opinion about the poster but still it feels all my work was for nothing. It wasn’t easy to do it. Drawing has never been my strongest thing so maybe I shouldn’t do any of that. The rest of my school work has been OK but I should make them a bit better before putting any of it in a portfolio. I just don’t know if I am able to do them because the time is so limited.

These 11 months have gone quite fast. Soon it’s another end of a road and it’s time to drift away to something else again. It only feels like I haven’t learned anything and if I have, I’ve forgotten about it. At one point I was quite excited about graphic design but now it feels like I will never get better at it. I’m always doubting in my mind that no one will never want to hire me or pay for my work. Once an amateur, always an amateur. I feel I have no talent and my designs are crap. A lot of people think in some time of their life that they’re not any good. When you feel the worse, you don’t think about that. It’s only when you talk to someone about it or you read about it online, you realise you’re not alone with your thoughts. I’m waiting for someone to say I don’t have what it takes and I should do something else. Maybe people just want to be kind and not telling me the truth.

I shouldn’t forget why I studied graphic design in the first place. It wasn’t because I wanted to work in print. I only wanted it to be part of web design and it still is. I’m more into digital graphic design because print is much more complicated. I’m not really sure about web design either anymore. I haven’t done any of it in 2 years. Unless you count this blog. I don’t know if I’ve even good at web design. It’s too technical for my taste. That’s another reason why I chose to study graphic design. I don’t really know what I want to do. This road is ending and I don’t know what road I’ll find next. Maybe I’m back to square one which is a place I do not want to be in at this age. Now I want to think about the portfolio thing and think about the next step some other time.

Graduate in patterns

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Graduate patterns
Made in Canva. Background photo by me (Mia)

It seems I’ve only been a graduate and nothing much else. I haven’t got a job even if I studied a lot of things. I see patterns here. Maybe I’m just meant to be a graduate. I’m not getting any younger and soon no one definitely doesn’t want to hire me. The last time I was a graduate was two years ago in web design. It’s really sad people only recognize you if you have job experience. I have at least done something. Maybe people think I’m just lazy and useless. I don’t feel that myself. I studied because I want to learn new things and because finding a job in this country is impossible if you’re an introvert. You’re not appreciated either if you haven’t been to a certain school. If it’s not an official qualification that has been approved by the Finnish National Agency for education, it’s not a real education. It shouldn’t matter because it’s what you can do that count. Especially if it’s a creative occupation.

There is a lot of bias against certain schools and one of them is Helsinki Design School. Next time I graduate is in June which is soon. Just because it’s not an official qualifying, employers don’t appreciate it at all. I don’t think it won’t change this time either. I studied photography there in 2014-2015. One of my fellow students went to a job interview once and was laughed off. Some attitude from that employer. It’s a private school which isn’t very common in Finland. It’s still an education where you learn things. People in Finland probably think creative jobs are science fiction where you need to be a professor to succeed. But it’s actually not that hard. It’s a real shame you’re not given a chance to prove yourself if you’re not highly educated. If someone has the time and money to get a master’s degree (or whatever), then let them but I don’t want to learn the same things several times. I already studied a 2-year qualification and educations longer than that are too long.

I’m not made for a job that doesn’t require creative thinking. I’ve tried office jobs but they bore me to tears. My aim has always been on the creative side. When I read about people suggesting to other people to find a new occupation I scream inside. I haven’t even started the current one. Some people can stay at their current jobs as long as they wish but I will rather be without one. At least I can be myself and not having to be in a workplace where you don’t even fit in. A lot of people have jobs they don’t like but need to stay to earn money. They don’t have time to study new things because life gets in the way. I might have been in many graduations but I also not stuck in my ways. Studying in general is good for your mind. When you graduate from something you feel you’ve achieved something. That’s the biggest award you can ever get.

Taking a break from my busy schedule

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Helsinki Design School assignment 2018, Single cover. Got 3/5 from this ‘Colours’ project

I have 9 days to finish my school assignments so I haven’t written the next bit about my holiday in Playa del Ingles. But it will come. It will take just some time. I’m just taking a break from my busy schedule to write this post. Busy in a way that I also have other things to do and places to go.

I finally reached 600 followers on this blog so thank you so much. I never thought I would get that many but 4-5 years later here it is. Time goes so fast I lost count how long I have blogged. According to the stats, this is the 6th year. At least I gained some experience from something.

Besides school work in Helsinki Design School is to make a portfolio. It’s part of the education. I asked my classmates on Facebook if anyone has started theirs but no one had. So I’m not the only one. It’s nice to know there are others in the same boat so you don’t need to feel alone. We have 4 more meetings in school before the portfolio presentations. The school ends on June 15. There is still time. Until the deadline is coming sooner than you think and then you’re screwed. I hope it won’t come to that. I already thought about in what format it’s gonna be so that’s better than nothing.

So there is the update. I’m mostly busy with thinking about design so my mind is not in writing about my holiday. As soon as my assignments are finished, then I can write about that. Until then I’m a busy bee. Mentally.