A bit of this and that

surfer inside a wave
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Aquadynamic is a problematic word to make a post about. But I can describe my current emotions. If you haven’t noticed, it was a month ago that I posted on this blog. I don’t know, but somehow I haven’t had the right feeling to write anything. Let’s just say life has come before everything else. My filmmaking education started at Helsinki Design School last week. The first meeting was last Wednesday and Thursday. I think it went well. My schoolmates are OK, I guess. Getting to know people is difficult when you hardly have any breaks. Lunch break, perhaps, but we have different tastes. Since it’s in Helsinki, I like to walk in the city alone. I know the centre by heart since I’ve been there many times. I do some sightseeing and go to school. Two flies at one hit, so to speak. The education in itself is engaging. I already know something about filmmaking since I’ve studied screenplay writing, but a repeat doesn’t hurt. There will be something new too. We get assignments that we have to do to pass the course. The good thing about studying film is that you can watch movies or movie scenes. The problem is trying to analyse scenes. That’s what the assignments we have this time. We have two tasks since it was two days. The deadline is November 18. Our next meeting is on Nov. 17. Before that, I have no contact with my schoolmates. They all have WhatsApp, but I don’t. Maybe I should get it, too, so I don’t get left out. I don’t have any use for it, but perhaps I could make an exception this time.

Another thing I’ve done recently was going to an ice hockey game. The local team organisation turned 100 years old last Saturday. The organisation contain several different sports teams. One of them is an ice hockey team. It was an anniversary match, so there were celebrations before the game started. There were former players, including Saku Koivu. If you follow ice hockey or the news in general, you might know who it is. He used to play in NHL, in Montreal Canadiens, to be exact. Anyway, it was a beautiful ceremony. The match was won by our team in overtime, 1-0. I don’t go to games that often. Maybe once or twice a year. But when I do, I enjoy every moment.

I’m going to see the movie ‘Amsterdam’ tomorrow afternoon (October 19). It features Christian Bale. I don’t know what it is about, though. I want to be surprised. I watch almost anything that Bale is in. There are only a few I haven’t seen, and one of them is ‘American psycho’ That movie is too creepy for my taste. It’s pretty expensive to go to the movies. I belong to a movie panel where they send surveys to take, and then you get small amounts of money. When you “collected” 10 euros, you get a free movie ticket. Sometimes you need to pay 3 euros, but that’s a small price to pay. I’ve already seen 4 movies this year. Tomorrow it’s the 5th time. I also went to the movies during covid, but not so often. I choose what movies to watch. Sometimes it’s not worth going to the movies because they will be shown on TV or streaming services anyway. Nothing beats a movie theatre, though. It’s for the big screen that makes a movie unique. Life without entertainment is no life at all.

I already have plans for next year. I’m going to see Robbie Williams again on March 5. The last time he was here was in 2017. I thought then that I wished I could see him live one day again, and the day did come. It will be the first time I’ve seen an artist twice. When opportunity knocks, take it, I would say. To think that I didn’t like big crowds when I was younger. I never thought I would, but I guess age makes you braver. You get used to it when you get out of your comfort zone more often. It’s pretty nice out there, after all.

When things go dishevel

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I went to the career coaching thing because I wanted to elucidate my job search skills (and the job centre suggested it). I did get my cover letter and resume updated, but the rest is dishevelled. There is a difference between sending an open application to an ordinary job and to a place where a portfolio is essential. I don’t think I will get any replies from the companies I applied to. They don’t look for people like me. They probably take someone with an impressive portfolio. Honestly, mine isn’t that good. I should get more job experience, but I don’t think I even get an internship. I might sound pessimistic, but you become that when things never go the way you wish. The ‘you don’t know if you don’t try’- thing isn’t what I believe in. I’ve tried that many times, but nothing has come out of it. It has worked when it comes to studying, but never in the job search. One of the downsides of sending open applications is that you never know if they will get in touch with you. It can take ages, or they never do. I’m not gonna wait for it. They say you should be in contact with the companies you sent them to. But that feels awkward, and it feels like you’re disturbing them. You shouldn’t say to me that the worse thing that can happen is if they say no. It will be no, and those words don’t make me feel better. It only makes me feel even more useless and unmotivated. Life shouldn’t be about job search. It’s not a full day job. Will never understand why someone would want to waste their whole day on it.

The only time things aren’t dishevel is when it comes to spare time. I have a lot to do on that front. I went to an ice hockey game a few days ago. Nothing beats a live sports event. I never get to see ice hockey on TV because it’s on a paid TV channel. I only listen to the radio. I didn’t get to the event in time because I took the wrong bus and then got lost. I had to take a taxi, so I lost 15 euros there. If I only wouldn’t have believed the bus app, I wouldn’t have gotten on the wrong bus. I knew what bus to take, but I thought I would take another bus that went the same way. Never be too sure where you are. If you know an easier way to do things, do it that way. I’ve learned my lesson. Next time I go and see ice hockey, I will take the bus that gets closer to the place where the event is held. The trip home went right, so I got home safely.

Things can’t stay the same all the time. They have to elucidate sometime. It has in the past. Anything can happen in this life. Or it might not happen at all. I wish certain things would come more often my way, but I guess that’s too much to ask. I just need to move on. You fall, but you get up again. If, at first, you don’t succeed, you might have the 100th time. Whatever success means to you, it’s the right one. For me, it’s finishing this blog post. Tomorrow it might be something else.

You winsome and you lose some

Photos by  me ©Mia Salminen

Life is like sport, you win some and you lose some. Last Friday I went to an ice hockey game but my team lost 2-4. The game didn’t look that winsome anyway. But today there’s another game at home so maybe this time we win. To do it you need to lose. That’s like life, you don’t always succeed. My life hasn’t been anything special to mention. I don’t look winsome and my self-esteem could be better. I’ve learned to find joy in small things. I hear what others have done at a certain age. Someone went aboard at 19 but I was looking for something else. It’s actually all a blur what happened in my life at the 1990s. It wasn’t worth remembering either. It was such a long time too. I remember what I studied but no special memories from that time. The past is the past and it’s nothing to dwell about it.

Unlike in sport where the coach can be fired from their posts if the team doesn’t win. In life, you can’t fire yourself. You just have to live with the burden. You just need to find a solution to your own problems. Maybe someone can give you support and all that but it’s you who makes the final decision. Unless someone is trying to control your life. Like parents who tell you what you should be and so on. If you have a choice to decide your own things then you should stick to it no matter what others think about it. If everyone was pessimistic nothing would be done. There is always nonbelievers but that shouldn’t stop you from living your own life. It might not be winsome for everyone but a life nonetheless.