You ain’t seen me, right?

This is a sketch from the British comedy show, The Fast Show. I don’t know why the word camouflage reminded me of this. Sometimes it feels like I’m invisible. But in some things, it’s kind of good. I don’t want that much attention from other people. I can observe in peace and follow people’s behaviours. It’s an introverted thing. People think you don’t hear them but in fact, we do. Because we’re not as loud as extroverted, it’s like being in camouflage. The bad thing is when you want people to take notice, you’re being ignored.

It’s never in the middle. You must be totally quiet or totally loud. Getting attention is not only about posting photos of yourself in social media. It’s about getting your voice heard. It doesn’t need big audiences. If it reaches at least one, that’s better than nothing. I, for example, could never be a video blogger because I don’t like being in front of the camera. I want to say things in writing. Other people feel natural being in the spotlight so I rather leave that to those who are. Stick to what you know, the saying goes. No one is good at everything. If someone could, others would be without work.

Speaking of which. Tomorrow it’s not a day for me to be in camouflage. Finally, the day when I’m gonna go to that meeting about the internship I wrote about here. We were supposed to meet last week but it had to be rescheduled. After a few emails, I didn’t get a reply so I thought it wasn’t real. But today I wrote another one and then finally I got a reply. I don’t know what kind of meeting it will be but it’s probably like a job interview kind of thing. The ones I’ve been to haven’t been very successful. When it’s over, I could say, You ain’t seen me, right? And then move away slowly to the front door. It could also go the other way around but that’s tomorrow’s business.

Vital decisions for the future

job in the bible

Being unemployed sucks even if you get benefits and you get by somehow. But not having a job is no fun. Some people do everything right but yet they won’t get hired. Then for those who have succeeded to get a job, they think if they have then anyone can. Sorry to burst their bubble but everyone isn’t as lucky. It’s easy to tell others how to do things but finding a job is not like snapping your fingers. It’s great that people find jobs but that won’t help those who don’t.

I have to make vital decisions for the future. It’s not like my life depend on it though. It’s not that desperate. But it can’t go on like this forever. It’s already 3rd week of this year and I haven’t done anything. I have that studying thing which is next week again but that’s it. I should have something else too. I had a job suggestion in my email but I had no idea what the job was. I read it a few times and I still didn’t get it. It wasn’t the job I was looking for either. At least I’m not totally visible. Moving on. I found an internship place but it’s without pay. At least it’s closer to the subject I study now. In the application (which is online and in English) there’s this question I don’t know what to answer to.

Why would you be the best choice for the position(s)?

I tried to find answers to what you could answer to that question online but I didn’t find what I was looking for. I even asked on Twitter but as usual social media failed me again. I guess I’m left to my own advice again. Unless anyone who reads this has any suggestions? Something that could work. Just in general and not necessary to this application. Please, do comment if you want. I’m probably gonna find a solution to this problem before that. But still, I’m only asking.

The reason why I hate job search is questions like these. I never know what to reply so I don’t even bother applying. It’s so stressful. I’ve seen some funny memes on Pinterest about what to say in a job interview. But you can’t say those things in real life. One was, “Why should we hire you?” Answer, “Because you’re hiring?!” You really need to put yourself in the employer’s shoes. It can’t be easy for them either. They get a lot of applications and they have to choose who to ask for an interview. They must be really lucky if they find the right person for the job at first try. That’s why it’s so difficult for the job seeker to answer questions. You have to stand out but how do you know if you did stand out? Maybe someone gives the same kind of answer you do. There are so many tips online what to write in a job application. But then there are others who might have seen the same ones and uses that. Using tips you find online still doesn’t get you a job. It’s a jungle out there in the job search world.

Introverts nightmare, How to sell yourself? That sounds like prostitution. But that’s an “It” thing these days. “Elevator pitch” is a better word for it. But us Finns don’t talk in elevators. We stay quiet until we get out of it. Joke aside. No one ever stays long enough to hear me. As soon as they see me, they’re already judging me. Maybe not that easy though. I’m exaggerating a bit there. I can’t describe myself in 30 seconds. It takes less than that since I don’t know what to say. If I do it’s usually negative things but you can’t say that out loud. I’m not very good with words in general. It’s different when it comes to writing fiction. I wish I could use that in my daily life. It would be much easier if I could describe myself like Loki does in Avengers- Infinity war.

I, Loki, prince of Asgard… Odinson… the rightful king of the Jotunheim… god of mischief… do hereby pledge to you… my undying fidelity.

See, much easier. Mine would stop at my name and then a long pause. If it was being said out loud that it. If I had to reply by writing then I would have time to think.

I think I found out what to write to that internship application while writing this post. I write what when I have. But still, I would like to know what you would answer to this question. For any occupation. “Why would you be the best choice for the position(s)?”

It’s not easy being an introvert

wooden bench in a sunset
Made in Canva

Making a phone call to a stranger? Speak in front of other people? Networking? Finding friends? Shopping for clothes? Think again. An introvert needs to brace themselves mentally before doing any of those. It can be easy if you’re an extrovert to just do it. It’s not easy being an introvert. Everything is a struggle and sometimes it feels you don’t belong in this extroverted world. You might feel differently than I do. It really depends what kind of a person you are. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s because you’re an introvert. This post is about how I see it. Feel free to disagree.

What I dislike the most about being an introvert is other people pointing it out. I don’t need people saying I’m quiet and withdrawn. I won’t become what they want me to be. I don’t go around pointing out to talkative people for them to be quiet because that would be rude. Just because I don’t easily talk to strangers, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know them. It just takes more time. Every time I go to Helsinki Design School my classmates don’t talk to me. They don’t ask me anything. Maybe it’s a Finnish thing. We only meet twice a month but still, they should be interested at least a little. Even it’s a struggle, I still try to talk to them. But it feels forced. I don’t like starting conversations. That’s why I don’t like networking. I get tongue-tied and I want to leave. It feels like people think I’m intellectually disabled because I give short answers if they ask something. Once when I went to business school, this classmates asked me if I had a drivers licence and of course I said no. And that was it. It was a really weird question. I don’t know what their point was. I didn’t talk to them so they tried to make fun of me or something. It’s probably only in my head I thought so. It doesn’t really matter what others think. They don’t know me. They only assuming what I’m like.

People seem to be in a hurry. If you don’t talk straight away, they don’t even bother getting to know you. They expect introverts to act like an extrovert because that’s what gives you success. Sorry, but being an introvert doesn’t work that way. We can’t just switch it off. Instead of competing against each other, we should learn from one another. Labelling doesn’t do anyone good. You would think people would want to get to know new people. But I guess you have to adapt to the extroverted society. It’s always been said you should be yourself and yet you shouldn’t be. So it must be OK if you’re extroverted but if you’re not you should change. No one should try to change you just because someone wants you to. I like to get away from people when I’m around others. Too much noise makes me tired. I don’t want to be something I’m not. Being an introvert shouldn’t be an issue. This planet is for everyone and we should all be in this together.