For some distance is a big problem during these times. Some might get depressed they can’t meet their friends or family. We are all different. But for me, there is no problem. I’m not overwhelmed at all. Maybe I’m missing my workmates but it’s not the end of my world. I can’t understand people who are addicted to other people. I’ve survived without human contacts for years so why complain about it now? I actually like it when people keep a distance. I’m such a lazy person so I don’t feel like going out. I don’t know what’s so bad about being home anyway that people want to leave it. Besides this thing that is happening in the world right now won’t last forever. If people would only keep away from other people but I guess it’s too hard for some. Distance is the word right now and people should respect that because then things will never get better.
If I find something overwhelming I don’t do them. In school, Math was something I was really overwhelmed by because I thought it was hard. I hated the whole subject. Then you just had to go through it but now you don’t need to. I think all you need to know how to add up and all those basic things. You don’t even need those because there are calculators so you don’t need to count in your head. You don’t even need to buy things with money. You have a card for that. If I pay with money I pay with a banknote. Which is the reason why I have so many coins in my wallet. I dislike counting money at the checkout so I rather not do it. I do it before that. But mostly I pay with a debit card because it’s the easiest way. My card has a contactless payment so I don’t even need to touch anything. Some people pay with their phones but I don’t really trust that system. I can’t probably download any of that on my phone anyway. I rather use a card.
Another thing that I find overwhelming is how to describe myself to others. Or just to get to know people. So I keep my distance because I don’t want to disturb others or giving the wrong impression of me. At least I did in the past. It really depends if I feel confident that day or what kind of people they are. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all at my current job when I first got there. When I keep my distance some people might think I’m shy or that I don’t like people. I could say the same about them. Why don’t they contact me? Why must I be the first one? I get the picture they don’t even want to get to know me. Maybe I’m boring in their eyes. They’re the ones who have an attitude and not me. As you get older you don’t care what others think. As long as you know yourself is all that matters. Distance doesn’t affect me. Actually, I welcome it. The worst thing is people who are too clingy and can’t stay away from other people. They’re the ones you should be worried about.
The blog post title doesn’t necessarily mean I think of myself of being the unsociable parasite. It’s more about what people might think of me. I’m not gregarious at all. I’m more of a loner. Sometimes I need interaction with other people but I can live without it. If I had a choice I would never leave the house. All I would need is a computer and an internet connection. But I don’t want to live my life like that. I also like being outside. I would seek for solitude in nature or even take a walk outside where I wouldn’t meet a single person. Big crowds only make me tired and stressed. Especially queues where people breathe down my neck.
In this loud world where people who like solitude and are unsociable are seen as parasites. Introverted people are needed as much as extroverted. We can’t all be the same. Being social doesn’t even mean talking. You can still be social by observing and listening to others. The problem with this world is not enough of listening. Everyone seems to be in a hurry. No one wants to share either. Not until disaster strikes then a lot of people want to be helpful. Social media is not much better. If you want advice no one gives you one. You don’t get any help from anyone. Or maybe it’s just me who doesn’t. I guess you need to have a lot of followers. If you want anything done, you have to do it yourself.
In the working life, the unemployed are seen as some kind of parasite. The longer you are out of work, the less you’re wanted. And even worse when you’re an introvert. I think that’s one of the reasons why I never had a real paid job. I don’t belong anywhere so, therefore, I’m a parasite. In the employer’s eyes that is. Last time I were anywhere it was in 2012 and that was only 2 weeks. There they said I wasn’t social enough. How would they know anyway? Well, it’s old news and I don’t dwell on that any longer. I don’t even feel like going anywhere in the morning. I’m not saying I will never look for a job again but it looks unlikely I will get any in 2020.
I wouldn’t want to be gregarious anyway because then I wouldn’t be who I am. I hate faking things which seems to be required in some cases. I’m also a bad actress and I can’t act social when I’m not. People would see right through me if I pretended to be talkative. If people think I’m the unsociable parasite then so be it. It’s not my concern because they don’t know me. I know from personal experience that some people don’t even bother getting to know you. They rely on stereotypes and live by that. Some get to know a person before they judge but I haven’t met one yet who does. If I have it was a long time ago. We shouldn’t ignore differences, we should welcome it. That’s how the world should work.
On Wednesday I went to a job fair. I went to listen to a few speeches and nothing else. One was about why there aren’t many females in ‘Information technology’ and the other was about knowing the right people. The rest of the speeches isn’t relevant to this post. What they had in common was networking. In my opinion, networking is just another word for decorated. You have to be “colourful” and be ready to come out of your shell. In other words, be something you’re not. They say you should be yourself but not exactly yourself. This is very difficult for a shy or introverted person. Especially when you should promote yourself about the things you’re good at. Especially females have this problem. We are too modest about our skills. Not everyone can do everything. Life is a learning process and things you can’t do, you can learn.
I don’t like networking and I wish there was a way to avoid human contact altogether when it comes to that. I also don’t like places with a lot of people gathering around in small spaces. I don’t like pretending I’m outgoing when I’m not. I didn’t talk to anyone at the job fair. Except when I met one of the speakers who’s a Finnish celebrity who works on TV. I wasn’t nervous at all when I met him. I wish I could walk to another stranger to introduce myself that easily. When I went to a job interview on Tuesday I wasn’t nervous either. But I never know what to say so I give short answers. Which is probably one of the reasons I don’t get anything. I also don’t know what to say what skills I have. At least not what could be useful in the job market. I can do a lot of different things but I’m not good at either of them. I’m just average.
In one of the speeches, it was said the worse thing that can happen is a no. But I’m not afraid of that because I’m used to it. The worse thing is when you think you hear a yes but then they change their minds. Or you have so much hope but then it’s smashed to pieces one way or another. Then you think why bother when you get nothing in return. That’s what networking is, disappointments and decorated shallowness. The only person who can succeed is someone who knows how to represent themselves. For other’s, it’s much harder. It’s quite sad how job search is more of a circus these days. It’s not only what you can do, but it’s also about what you could do for them. It’s not real, it’s a decoration and people don’t want to or can’t do anything to change that.