The biggest mystery seems to be introversion. Like it’s something negative. I really need to fret about this a bit more. You won’t get hired because you’re not extroverted enough. It seems that people see you’re introverted as soon as they meet you. That’s what I’ve experienced at least. I hate meeting new people because it’s like it says introverted on my forehead. People notice straight away that I don’t say much and then they’ve already judged me. In job interviews (well that one I got last year) I got the feeling my answers weren’t that satisfying to the interviewer. I was too quiet. Like that’s a bad thing. I don’t know how long answers you need to have. I’m not gonna make things up that aren’t true. I don’t even get that many ideas into my head at one second. I’ll never get a job because I suck at interviews. Actually in interviews in general. It’s such a turn off to meet people because they seem to notice my introversion straight away.

If something would get me deeply depressed, it would be people suggesting me to change myself. My life purpose is not to entertain people. I shouldn’t need to explain myself to others. I’m tired of hiding my introversion and explain I’m not always quiet. But that’s what people see me as. When I introduce myself (like in school) it feels awkward and it can sound like I’m struggling with the words. Then after that, the others don’t want to talk to me. That’s what I dread the most when my graphic design studies begin in August in Helsinki Design School. Last time I introduced myself to strangers I thought maybe I didn’t say things clear enough. No one really said anything to me after that. Maybe the reasons are something else then I think. Sometimes I obsess about things like that and I can’t get it out of my head. It’s a shame people don’t even bother to get to know me because my first impression wasn’t good enough for them. Their loss anyway.

It’s weird that if a person is extroverted, it’s no big deal. You don’t even need to hide it. It’s a positive thing and no one really cares. But if you’re introverted, it’s the opposite. You’re not allowed to tell about your introversion because that will make you look bad. You have to act extroverted and be very talkative when it’s not in your nature. People wonder why someone doesn’t say much but they never wonder why someone talks too much. You can’t really be neither. You can’t be too quiet but you can’t be too loud either. Nothing is good enough but that’s how society works. People expect the impossible. It’s this and it’s that, there’s nothing in between. Life would be much more fun to live if everyone could be themselves. But people want to take the harder route, then the obvious one. Everyone knows there are different people in the world and yet they can’t accept it. They have the urge to put people into categories instead of letting people be what they are.

Dare to be different should be a world theme. If it was perfect that is. Humans just can’t stop nitpicking. If you’re not like them, they wonder why. It’s the questions and what others think of you which is the most annoying thing. If you tell an introvert to talk more, they will get even quieter. Telling a person what they are, makes them feel they’re not accepted. I guess the reason why introversion is seen as negative is the lack of awareness. It isn’t rocket science. It’s shouldn’t matter if you’re introverted or extroverted (or ambivert) because we’re all different personalities. No one is a typical one. We should work together and not against. There are too much of prejudices in the world anyway. We don’t need more of it.