Not extravagantly cozy yet

relaxed wool socksSo I went to that job interview yesterday. The job wasn’t the way I expected though. But I still managed to get through it with a clean slate. The job is through Studentwork which is a Nordic recruiting company who help graduated to find jobs. I did forget to say a few things just like I thought I would. One of them was to the question, what makes me different from other applicants. I should have mentioned I’m bilingual. It probably wouldn’t have changed much. Maybe I gave the same answer to a different question but it was quite similar anyway. I wasn’t very nervous before it. I thought I will get through it and give the best answers I can. I mentioned I’m careful when I meet new people but I’m always working on it. This interview wasn’t the final one though. If the employer gets interested, I get another interview. I will find out next week or so.

Even if I don’t get picked for this job, I still have that job interview experience. There is no time to be cosy. It’s a bit extravagant this job searching thing. Next year here in Finland people are forced to look for jobs or they get fewer unemployment benefits. It’s called the active model. It’s probably the stupidest idea to increase employment. You can’t buy a job from a store. No matter how active you try to be, not everyone will have the chance to find a job. It will also give the employers a lot more work to do. The government is trying to say that it’s all the unemployed fault they can’t find anything. Some things you can’t control. The job centre is a joke too. They claim the try to find work for people but that’s nonsense. I speak from experience. Like my mother used to say, you should hit your fist on the table and tell them you’re serious. Figuratively speaking, of course. If you want to do things, you have to do it yourself.

All the schools and internships I’ve been to, I always found them myself. When you apply for educations it’s not sure you get in. The same with real jobs with real pay. You can send all the applications with all your heart’s content but yet no one wants to hire you. You’re not in control of the result. You’re neither fit for the job or you’re not the person they’re looking for. I wonder if politics even know what job search really is. They have unrealistic views on it and they think they’re smarter than the average people. It’s so easy for a person who has a job to make up solutions how to reduce unemployment. Job search is not fun. Everyone hates it. Most people would rather have a job than live on benefits. It’s a complex process to find a job these days. You just can’t walk into a company and get hired as soon as you step in. Maybe that could have worked 60 years ago but now it’s totally different. It’s who you know that counts and how can you get that connection if you can’t find a job? Everyone doesn’t have that friend or relative with good connections.

I’ve been in the same job search circle for years and my dislike of dealing the with job centre is getting stronger each year. I don’t want any of these 9 euros per day or wage subsidies that they seem to shove my way. I want a real job with real pay. If I was younger, it would be different but it doesn’t help anymore. We’ll see how it will go with this job. I’ll only know next year what things will come. I hope it’s on a positive note.

Advent calendar Box 21

advent calendar 21

Christmas is a miraculous time. Like the job interview, I got yesterday. I’ve never thought anyone would see my LinkedIn profile. That’s how the person who hinted at the job found me. Things like that always happen to other people. I didn’t think LinkedIn, in general, was very useful in job search. It’s for those who have a wide range of connections and had former jobs. I also don’t want to use the premium version that probably could open better options. I used the trial version but it wasn’t really for me. I don’t know how many Finnish employers actually search for future employees there. There are job offers in Finnish but much more abroad. Either way, it really is miraculous that I got a job interview in the first place. That doesn’t happen every day. I didn’t even believe it before I actually read the confirmation email that it wasn’t a dream.

If I get the job, it really will be miraculous. It’s not that I don’t think well enough of my abilities but I still doubt. When you go through life that hasn’t had much luck, you think you’ll never get anything good. As you get older, you realise things could be worse. You don’t need to live like anyone else. Have the courage to stay true to yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. I wouldn’t want to go back to the past. There are things that I could tell my younger self. But then I probably wouldn’t know what I know now. You live and learn. Learning from your mistakes is the best education you can get. I wish I would have done things earlier but it’s still not too late.

My goals have changed many times.  As a teenager, I had a feeling I needed to rush things. I wanted to do so many things before 25 and when I did turn that age, that so-called life crisis kicked in. I was so disappointed I hadn’t accomplished a thing. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. Others had a job and a family to support. I spent all my time thinking about career choices. You hear about 30’s crisis and 40’s crisis but I didn’t have any of those. Maybe I feel attracted to younger men but they just happen to be younger. Nothing to do with age crisis. When the time has passed, I don’t really want what others have. I’m totally fine to be free. I can do what I want and I don’t want to lose that. Maybe it’s selfish but so is having something just because the society expects it. I didn’t rebel when I was a teen like most do. In a way, I do it now. I like being different. People can live their life the way they want. I’ve made a choice how to live mine.

Advent calendar Box 20

advent calendar 20

Day 20 comes and I bring you good news when it comes to job search. I got a job interview! It’s in Helsinki so I need to travel for it. It could have been handled through Skype but I never used it. It’s better to meet face to face. This a great Christmas present. I don’t even mind now I didn’t get chosen to Helsinki Design School to study graphic design. A job is what I need.

I have never had a job interview in the ordinary sense. I’ve been to interviews but they’ve been for study or course. It’s easy now to be prepared but when it comes to the real thing, I might screw up. Just getting an interview is great. Even if I don’t get chosen, I can still learn from it. It’s not every day you get one. Especially if jobs in web design is limited. The job is only 7 months but that’s enough for me. Getting an interview is one thing but getting the job is another. No matter how much I prepare, it never goes the way I planned it. I might forget everything that I thought of or my answers are too short. I shouldn’t be obsessed about this. I should just go there confident. If I start to think too much, then it makes me more nervous.

Web design really is my so-called calling and I want to work with it in the future. Design in general. Getting this job interview gives me hope for 2018. This year I went through a lot but next year it really should happen something on the job front. If I won’t get it, I need another plan. But I definitely won’t give up. I’ve had enough of unemployment. When you have a job you don’t need to fight with the jobcentre and you don’t need to apply for social benefits. However, the next goal is to get through the job interview and worry about other things later.