Boring job interview

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Maybe people find my blog posts about job search boring or uninteresting, but I write them anyway. This is not really about a job search. It’s about job interviews that I only get one every 5 years. I never know what to say in the questions they ask. I wish I had a fast mind, so I could answer questions without having a pause. I want to do a boring job interview that you can’t do in a real interview. These are questions they might ask. The answers are not what I would say in a real interview. Just wanted to repeat that.

Question: Tell me about yourself
Answer: Um, well, I’m human. I breathe, I eat, I sleep, I fart, I hear, I smell. And meh, I’m bored—next question.

Q: Why are you interested in working for this company?
A: I don’t know. I won’t get it anyway. You’re probably already bored with me.

Q: Can you describe your strengths?
A: No, I should think about it for a few weeks. Can I get back to you? 

Q: What are some of your weaknesses?
A: Answering these questions. Only finding my weaknesses.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
A: Alive, hopefully. I don’t even know what I do after this interview.

Q: Why should we hire you?
A: I don’t know. I’m nice. I do my work as good as I can.

Q: What do you consider to be your biggest professional achievement?
A: Have you seen my resume? I don’t even have a career, thanks to employers who don’t want to hire me because I don’t have enough experience.

Q: Why are there gaps in your resume?
A: I’ve studied duh. It’s none your business why the reason is. I haven’t been lazy, that’s for sure.

Q: What are your salary expectations?
A: As long as I don’t become poor. How much do you want to pay me?

Q: What is your greatest achievement?
A: Getting this interview for starters. I’m still alive.

These are tough questions. You never know what they interviewers want to hear. That’s the reason why I fail at job interviews. Not knowing what to say. If the interviews were written down, it could be easier to answer them. But the companies are too busy to find an employee, so they don’t have time for a “slow” person like me. I already fail at cover letters and even finding something to apply to. I would be fortunate if I even got a job interview. I wouldn’t get the job anyway.

A little less conversation, more action

two minions figuresNew post, new year. I hope you all had a safe new year. I went to see with my father a fireworks show for children at 6 pm at the park close by. It has become a tradition. All the fireworks are the same so that is all I really need. I stayed at my fathers place the rest of the evening. There was Junior ice hockey world championship on TV where Finland played against the USA. I ended my year with ice hockey and began with it. We lost though. Personally, the new year is just another day. Some people fuss about it but that’s not me. Some years I’ve been to see fireworks somewhere when the new year changes but sometimes I don’t bother. This time it was because of the ice hockey. The everyday life continues no matter what.

That was not the conversation I was going to write about. Living in a world where talking seems to be highly appreciated, is difficult for a person who doesn’t talk much. There’s nothing wrong if you like talking. The problem is more about the quality of conversations. People talk a lot of nonsense. A little less conversation and a little bit more action, please. Anyone can talk but how many can put those words into action? I rather show what I can do, rather than talk about it. When I was in that job interview, I don’t know if my replies were long enough. On job interview tips it says your replies should be about 1 minute or less. I wouldn’t even know what to say for that long. It’s easier to think what to say before but when the interview is on, all those thoughts are gone. I say things that come to mind and later I realise I didn’t mention something I should. Then it’s too late. I won’t be surprised if I don’t get a second interview.

I really feel stressed if other people are waiting for long answers from me. I’m not the best person to give speeches. You can always improve your conversation skills but it’s not easy for a person who only talks when they have something to say. Writing is so much easier because you can think before speaking and then you can delete or add words. Talking to someone you can’t take words back. Once you’ve said them, it’s all over. Especially if the conversation is with someone you will only meet once. Some people feel awkward if there is silent but they just have to get used to it. You don’t need to talk all the time. Even in libraries, you don’t have silence signs anymore. That’s one place that should be quiet but now they have all kinds of programs there. At least in our local library. There are silent places there too but they’re not that many. Whispering is a disappearing tradition. People are having conversations like they were in a dance club. Shouting and screaming like there is no tomorrow. Strange behaviour in a library. Good manners are hard to find.

If there were less conversation and more action, things should actually go somewhere. Especially, politicians. They talk a lot but a very few have any ideas how to make things better. We should this and we should do that but nothing ever happens. What works on paper doesn’t mean it will work in practice. If they have any ideas, it’s always someone who’s gonna suffer the most. All action doesn’t always help. Everything starts with a conversation and it’s only the brave who take action. You either just talk or take the bull by its horns. As long as someone takes the first step and others will follow. Which one will you be, is the question you should ask yourself. I prefer the action because a conversation is forced and I rather follow my own mind then what others expect of me.