Networking is just another word for decorated

colourful game pieces
Made in Canva

On Wednesday I went to a job fair. I went to listen to a few speeches and nothing else. One was about why there aren’t many females in ‘Information technology’ and the other was about knowing the right people. The rest of the speeches isn’t relevant to this post. What they had in common was networking. In my opinion, networking is just another word for decorated. You have to be “colourful” and be ready to come out of your shell. In other words, be something you’re not. They say you should be yourself but not exactly yourself. This is very difficult for a shy or introverted person. Especially when you should promote yourself about the things you’re good at. Especially females have this problem. We are too modest about our skills. Not everyone can do everything. Life is a learning process and things you can’t do, you can learn.

I don’t like networking and I wish there was a way to avoid human contact altogether when it comes to that. I also don’t like places with a lot of people gathering around in small spaces. I don’t like pretending I’m outgoing when I’m not. I didn’t talk to anyone at the job fair. Except when I met one of the speakers who’s a Finnish celebrity who works on TV. I wasn’t nervous at all when I met him. I wish I could walk to another stranger to introduce myself that easily. When I went to a job interview on Tuesday I wasn’t nervous either. But I never know what to say so I give short answers. Which is probably one of the reasons I don’t get anything. I also don’t know what to say what skills I have. At least not what could be useful in the job market. I can do a lot of different things but I’m not good at either of them. I’m just average.

In one of the speeches, it was said the worse thing that can happen is a no. But I’m not afraid of that because I’m used to it. The worse thing is when you think you hear a yes but then they change their minds. Or you have so much hope but then it’s smashed to pieces one way or another. Then you think why bother when you get nothing in return. That’s what networking is, disappointments and decorated shallowness. The only person who can succeed is someone who knows how to represent themselves. For other’s, it’s much harder. It’s quite sad how job search is more of a circus these days. It’s not only what you can do, but it’s also about what you could do for them. It’s not real, it’s a decoration and people don’t want to or can’t do anything to change that.

It’s sabotage to get told what to do

doorways
Made in Canva

Do this and you get that. If you don’t do what you are told you will get into trouble or don’t get anything. It’s sabotage to get told what to do with your own life. Not just your life but other things you do. Or don’t do. I don’t really have a point in this post. All I know is what sabotage is when you want to be yourself but is not allowed to. People should have the right to be whatever sexuality they are without having to announce it to the world. But some people have the urge to know everything about everyone. I don’t get this “getting out of the closet” when someone announces they are gay or any other sexuality. Straight people never have to announce they’re straight. What’s up with that? Isn’t it because it’s “normal”? And why are gay people living in a closet? I guess there is so much prejudice so people are embarrassed to be different when it shouldn’t be. Some people have attitude problems towards certain people. I don’t know how people like that can live with themselves. I welcome everyone no matter who they are. As long as they’re nice people. Negative and disrespectful people don’t have a place in my life.

Some things feel like sabotage. Like job search. I did get again a message “Thanks for replying but you’re not chosen” for that packaging thing I mentioned in this post. When then, I wonder. They probably chose someone in their 20s. Well, I didn’t want it that bad anyway. That thought makes me feel less worthless. Not that I feel worthless. Some people are embarrassed they’re unemployed so they don’t tell many people. I’m not that fussy. If people think I’m lazy, let them. I’m in my 40s and I should find a job much easier than someone in their 50s. Easier, not easy. But I guess my resume isn’t “sexy” enough. They said you should apply for jobs outside your own field. I did but I didn’t get anywhere. So there goes that theory. At least I can tell the jobcentre I did apply for a job. I don’t know if I should tell them about the graphic design education in Helsinki Design School though. It’s been a while since that ended so maybe not. Why does job searching make me feel so old? I have a lot of energy left but there are too many gaps in my resume. Educations are worth nothing.

Sometimes it feels like sabotage in social media. It’s like someone have said, “don’t like or post anything to that person” Which is just paranoia. I’m no one famous and not many know me on social media. I don’t know why I don’t get that many likes and such. Even on this blog, I don’t get as many likes I used to. Are my blog posts uninterested? Have I told everything and my posts are repeating themselves? Questions like that entered my mind. It really depends on what I write about. On Twitter, I get likes when TV programs are on. Or if it’s tweeting about Formula One. But if I share a blog post or tweet about something else, then I don’t get any. I will never get thousands of likes anywhere but I’m not expecting that either. Some people do anything to get likes to their posts and then they get on the news. ‘This person got 500 00 likes in an hour’ And then the photo they’ve posted isn’t even anything special. People just like weird things. If I posted something like that, it probably wouldn’t even get noticed. Then again I’m just assuming. My motives for social media is different from others. I don’t seek big audiences. It’s the quality that matters.

You can also sabotage your own future by doing crimes. Or even post drunk photos on social media. I don’t know why people do that in the first place. Who wants to see that kind of photos anyway. Know one wants to hire a boozer or even be friends with one. Drunk people are boring as well. Some people think if you don’t smoke and drink you don’t know how to have fun. Well, you can sabotage your own health and your future as much as you want. But I don’t want to live my life that. It’s just isn’t my kind of fun and it has never been. I find parties boring and a waste of energy. I rather stay home alone and do something by myself. If that sounds boring then so be it. Sabotage my solitude then you can think again. Just saying.

You make me want to scream

boy screaming into a mic
Made in Canva

My dad says with a scream you don’t accomplish anything. But sometimes you have to let it out. At least it makes me feel better.  But mostly I scream internally. There so much injustice in the world and people with no common sense. You can’t carry all the problems on your shoulders though. You need to concentrate on your own life. There has always been and always will be idiots in the world. All you can do is not being one. Think with your own head because that what it’s for.

A lot of things annoy me and sometimes I can’t control my temper. I try no to be too upset because there are things you just have to accept. When I was younger a lot of things got to me but I’ve learned to look on things differently. It’s really a waste of energy to take things personally. Some people’s behaviour makes me want to scream though. Easy things are difficult for some. Like throwing lit in the bin or park their car between the lines. I wonder how this kind of people can sleep at night. Idiots don’t know they’re idiots so that must be it. Maybe people like that take away jobs from other people who does have something in their heads.

Not only people can be stupid or simple-minded. But also these Bots on the internet. Or whatever give stupid or weird suggestions on different platforms. One of these is job search places like LinkedIn. Like this “do you know this person?” No, I don’t, idiot. Just because people you follow there know them it doesn’t mean I do. I get so annoyed with the whole thing and you can’t even make it stop. Then LinkedIn suggests jobs I haven’t even studied. Not only there but on the e-services on the unemployment centre’s website as well. I look for a job in web or graphic design and not in sales or any other job. It’s not even worth screaming for. More about eye-rolling than a scream. I’m not qualified for any of the suggested jobs so there is no point applying.

Everything is so fake these days. You have to be an attention seeker to get anything. Posting about your life on Instagram or any other social media place is the only way to go. “No ugly people allowed” kind of attitude. Even a job search is a fashion show. Only the most outgoing and ‘in your face’ people get a chance. “Look at me, look at me” promotion. Want to start your own business? Show yourself and ‘open sesame’ Maybe not quite like that but I hope you know what I mean. Things are so shallow today. A lot of people want that sparkling personality in their company. But what if you’re nothing like that. Then you’re discriminated and left in the corner. The work world shouldn’t work like it does now. People get burn-outs because of work overload and the other part have none job at all. Job search really is unfair and that makes me want to scream the most.