Tag: job search

You make me want to scream

MiaLeave a comment
boy screaming into a mic
Made in Canva

My dad says with a scream you don’t accomplish anything. But sometimes you have to let it out. At least it makes me feel better.  But mostly I scream internally. There so much injustice in the world and people with no common sense. You can’t carry all the problems on your shoulders though. You need to concentrate on your own life. There has always been and always will be idiots in the world. All you can do is not being one. Think with your own head because that what it’s for.

A lot of things annoy me and sometimes I can’t control my temper. I try no to be too upset because there are things you just have to accept. When I was younger a lot of things got to me but I’ve learned to look on things differently. It’s really a waste of energy to take things personally. Some people’s behaviour makes me want to scream though. Easy things are difficult for some. Like throwing lit in the bin or park their car between the lines. I wonder how this kind of people can sleep at night. Idiots don’t know they’re idiots so that must be it. Maybe people like that take away jobs from other people who does have something in their heads.

Not only people can be stupid or simple-minded. But also these Bots on the internet. Or whatever give stupid or weird suggestions on different platforms. One of these is job search places like LinkedIn. Like this “do you know this person?” No, I don’t, idiot. Just because people you follow there know them it doesn’t mean I do. I get so annoyed with the whole thing and you can’t even make it stop. Then LinkedIn suggests jobs I haven’t even studied. Not only there but on the e-services on the unemployment centre’s website as well. I look for a job in web or graphic design and not in sales or any other job. It’s not even worth screaming for. More about eye-rolling than a scream. I’m not qualified for any of the suggested jobs so there is no point applying.

Everything is so fake these days. You have to be an attention seeker to get anything. Posting about your life on Instagram or any other social media place is the only way to go. “No ugly people allowed” kind of attitude. Even a job search is a fashion show. Only the most outgoing and ‘in your face’ people get a chance. “Look at me, look at me” promotion. Want to start your own business? Show yourself and ‘open sesame’ Maybe not quite like that but I hope you know what I mean. Things are so shallow today. A lot of people want that sparkling personality in their company. But what if you’re nothing like that. Then you’re discriminated and left in the corner. The work world shouldn’t work like it does now. People get burn-outs because of work overload and the other part have none job at all. Job search really is unfair and that makes me want to scream the most.

The bad news is that there is no news

MiaLeave a comment
white paper on a table
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Nothing new under the sun. It’s been a while since I graduated from the graphic design course in Helsinki Design School but nothing has happened after that. Why would it? There is never any luck. Nothing ever happenstance to me. Only crap. Many probably already have gained something from the education. I’m always in the same place, year after year. During the education it felt like I wasn’t that good in graphic design and nothing will come out of it.  Seeing other student’s work, I felt even worse. The portfolio presentation was awful. I don’t know if I even have any potential since I got no real feedback. My presentations are never any good and I hate situations like that. I’m nervous no matter how I’ve prepared. Standing in front of the others makes me forget everything and no notes help. Maybe if there would only be one of two, then I could get something out of it. I’ll never get any work this way.

All the job listings require at least 2 years of work experience. And a professional degree. If I did get a job interview, I still wouldn’t get it because I’m bad at it. No job search courses have helped either. No matter what others say, there is no use. No LinkedIn and that kind of places work either. People say it does but I don’t agree. It just doesn’t work for everyone. Especially in Finland. Being an introvert doesn’t help the matter. I hate it when you need to brand yourself and you need to have great communication skills. Then when my mother tongue is Swedish, it shows in my Finnish writing. But so what? How should I write then? Should I hire a writer whose mother tongue is Finnish? Then it’s not me who’s writing. The most important thing is being understood, right?

If I want a job I should become an entrepreneur but that also requires work. It also takes time to get started. I don’t have time all my life. I want results right away and not in 10 years. I don’t really know what I want any longer because nothing seems to work. It pisses me off because I never have any luck. I could be unemployed for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t need to do anything. Money doesn’t grow on trees but at least I could just be. I can do what I like. Sleep late. But the laziness strikes. I want to do something and not shy away from work like certain people do. When you read about entrepreneurship, there is a lot of negativity. You’re not allowed to do anything. “Don’t have your own business” “Go work for someone else” What if you don’t belong anywhere? You just don’t feel at home among other people. Is being unemployed much better than being an entrepreneur? I think not. Unemployment cost. At least mentally. You have to be social in the workplace and so on. Finding a job is sucks because it requires so much. Personally, I’m bored with it all. You just have to believe in yourself because no one else will. Let the employers hire young and beautiful people they don’t need to pay so much to. I have educations but no one wants to hire me because I don’t have enough experience in my own field. I don’t even get any free work. Thanks to a certain company. I won’t mention any names since they can come and get me. Maybe not but still. At least I got an interview. I was probably too old for their organisation. I applied twice to another company. That was a paid job. I won’t apply to that again. I got the hint. If I only could get the courage to start something on my own.

Certain people have no idea how the job search works these days. No one gets a job just like that. Not everyone is able to do just any job. Like cleaning. You should get experience in your own field and not take a job away from someone else. If you don’t know anything about today, you should keep quiet. “You can find a job if you’re really trying” Well then apply for that job then, self-centred bastard. Everyone doesn’t have friends in high places. Those who do probably don’t even need to write job applications. They want a job and they get it. In real life, it’s not that easy. A good looking resume doesn’t guarantee you anything. It’s what’s in it that counts and if you don’t have it, you don’t even get an interview. You get the round file or file 13. You’re not welcome to their little club. They don’t like you. Just like school. If you’re not the king or queen of the class, you’re nothing. You’re the nerd no one wants to become friends with. Why should you need to please those idiots? Let them have their little club. I don’t want to waste my time with people like that. I’ll rather be alone. At least I can have a decent conversation and nobody demands anything from me.

Source: https://pics.me.me/

Things I (probably) never hear or experience

MiaLeave a comment
four playing cards on brown table
Made in Canva

I’m probably the least fortuitous person in this world. Well, one of them. There are people who have it worse than me. I have a roof over my head and I can afford to buy things. But sometimes I wish I could have more luck in certain things. Here’s a list of things I (probably) never hear or experience.

Get hired because I’m an awesome and talented person
This is the first one on the list because this is something I’ve never been lucky in. I’m never been in the right place at the right time. You need to have some luck with the job search. Another thing is the skill. Especially in the design business, it’s very important. It’s also about who you know. Even though I’ve studied doesn’t mean I’ll get a job in it. It doesn’t help to have an online portfolio. Profile on LinkedIn and how active I am on social media. I’m no dream for employers when it comes to personality either. I’ll never hear, “I saw your portfolio and we want to hire you” Maybe not with those words but something like that. Job search is a circus where you have to be a clown to get noticed. As an introvert, this is not right. I think that’s one of the reasons why I never get a job. I’m not good at marketing myself. The whole concept of branding yourself is weird. I’ve got too many gaps in my resume so employers probably think I’ve been lazy or have some mental problems. I could have the latter by now but I don’t. Luck just hasn’t been on my side when it comes to this.

Getting best friends forever
I’ve never been good with finding friends. A lot of so-called friends were rotten. One pretended to be my friend but then talked bad things about me to someone else. I never found a best friend that I would still be in contact with. I had a friend in preschool but she moved to another city. I met a lot of people since childhood but I never found someone that ‘clicked’ with me. I’ve learned to be alone and that’s better than having fake friends.

Meeting someone of the opposite sex
This is the same as with the friendship thing. This subject goes to the private thing so I won’t go into detail. I’ll never meet (name should go here) If I did, he wouldn’t like me the way I like him. Because why should he? No one has ever been interested in my like that in real life anyway. I don’t fall easily for anyone either. I always want someone I can’t have. Let’s just leave it at that.

Dreaming and make it real
I’ve read a lot of stories about how someone has followed their dream and made it come true. But I’m not that ambitious. When things don’t work out I give up and do something else. I’m also too indecisive. I get an idea but then change my mind. No wonder I never achieve anything. I’m too much of a coward so I blame it on bad luck. If not that, the lazy person I am. Other success stories should motivate me but the fear is in the way so I just dream. Even the most successful people have fears but I don’t get over them. Saying get over it is like saying to a person who has broken their leg to walk it off. Failure is also a thing that can make a person not to do anything about their dream. I’ve always had a doubt in my mind that I’m the failing one because I’m not fortuitous in a lot of things.

Meeting someone or experience something by chance
Last but not least. I believe only other people meet people by chance. I never found new friends on holidays. Not when I was a child nor as an adult. I don’t travel much but when I do, I never talk to anyone by chance and not the other way around. At least nothing good ever comes out the little chances I get. I’ve seen Finnish celebrities in places I’ve been to and once bumped into one but that’s not the chances I mean. Chances like meeting someone you didn’t accept to meet and it would change your life. If it had I wouldn’t be where I am now. Nowhere special. I never accidentally ended up somewhere by chance. If it’s career choice or something personal. Not everyone will meet someone or experience something by chance. Sometimes you need to work on it yourself. If it’s meant to happen it will. Or it might not. You never know.

So there you have it. Never say never which is the reason I wrote (probably) Life is full of surprises. For example, a year ago I found out I had 2 cousins. I always thought I only had one. We should think more about the things we got. You need to accept that some things you can’t have no matter how much you want it. If you’re fortuitous or not.