You make me want to scream

boy screaming into a mic
Made in Canva

My dad says with a scream you don’t accomplish anything. But sometimes you have to let it out. At least it makes me feel better.  But mostly I scream internally. There so much injustice in the world and people with no common sense. You can’t carry all the problems on your shoulders though. You need to concentrate on your own life. There has always been and always will be idiots in the world. All you can do is not being one. Think with your own head because that what it’s for.

A lot of things annoy me and sometimes I can’t control my temper. I try no to be too upset because there are things you just have to accept. When I was younger a lot of things got to me but I’ve learned to look on things differently. It’s really a waste of energy to take things personally. Some people’s behaviour makes me want to scream though. Easy things are difficult for some. Like throwing lit in the bin or park their car between the lines. I wonder how this kind of people can sleep at night. Idiots don’t know they’re idiots so that must be it. Maybe people like that take away jobs from other people who does have something in their heads.

Not only people can be stupid or simple-minded. But also these Bots on the internet. Or whatever give stupid or weird suggestions on different platforms. One of these is job search places like LinkedIn. Like this “do you know this person?” No, I don’t, idiot. Just because people you follow there know them it doesn’t mean I do. I get so annoyed with the whole thing and you can’t even make it stop. Then LinkedIn suggests jobs I haven’t even studied. Not only there but on the e-services on the unemployment centre’s website as well. I look for a job in web or graphic design and not in sales or any other job. It’s not even worth screaming for. More about eye-rolling than a scream. I’m not qualified for any of the suggested jobs so there is no point applying.

Everything is so fake these days. You have to be an attention seeker to get anything. Posting about your life on Instagram or any other social media place is the only way to go. “No ugly people allowed” kind of attitude. Even a job search is a fashion show. Only the most outgoing and ‘in your face’ people get a chance. “Look at me, look at me” promotion. Want to start your own business? Show yourself and ‘open sesame’ Maybe not quite like that but I hope you know what I mean. Things are so shallow today. A lot of people want that sparkling personality in their company. But what if you’re nothing like that. Then you’re discriminated and left in the corner. The work world shouldn’t work like it does now. People get burn-outs because of work overload and the other part have none job at all. Job search really is unfair and that makes me want to scream the most.

Enough of study, get me a job

study word crossedYou keep hearing and reading how important it is to study. Up to a point, it is but it doesn’t guarantee anything. In Finland, there’s a lot of different ways to study but in some occupations, there are too many educated people. Some people even have studied 3 different qualifications and still, it hasn’t helped to find a job. You study because you want a job. Education is too overrated. Where you learn best is in a job. There are things that aren’t learned in school. All the efforts of studying are wasted if you can’t find a job.

I’ve written about my former studies before in this blog. To make it short to those who are new here. I’ve studied screenplay writing, journalism,  photography, graphic design and web design. I’ve studied a lot because I haven’t found the occupation that I feel comfortable with. Call me picky but I have my standards. I’ve never been driven my money. I want to do a job I like and not because it pays well. Photography was the main thing, so being a pro was in my mind for a long time. But after I studied it in Helsinki Design School, I realised I didn’t want to do it after all. I wanted more than that. I don’t know what happened to the people who studied in the same course as me. In a way, it was a disappointing education. I think most of the students there haven’t got a job because they went to that school. It’s not as highly regarded as the school themselves think. Yes, you have these pros as teachers but finding a job has a lot to do with luck.

Luck hasn’t found me when it comes to job search. You would think a healthy and skilled person would have no problems finding a job but that’s not the case. You can study all your life to become something but there must be a limit somewhere. Honestly, I’m up to here with studying. I’m not so keen to study somewhere because I know it won’t help. The latest one was web design and I thought that would open some doors but it hasn’t happened yet. I also don’t want to go to these job search courses. I’ve already been to a few. Besides, there is a lot of tips online so I don’t need courses. The problem lays where to find a suitable job. They say you should apply for any job but I can’t do that. Everybody wants to have a job in the field they’ve studied. Some people can do any job but if you got allergies, for example, your options are limited. I don’t want to study something new again. I’ve already started from the beginning several times and rather not do it again. I’m getting too old for this shit (Lethal Weapon) is becoming real each year.

A good education doesn’t guarantee you a job


Getting a job these days is difficult wherever you are. No matter what you study, it doesn’t mean you’ll get a job in that field. There’s always different excuses why you’re not getting the job you applied for. It’s either too many applicants or you’re not qualified even if you know you can do the job. No matter how you try to stand out, there’s always someone else who gets picked instead of you.

A lot of people send applications to hundreds of different companies but they’re not even getting interviews. What’s the point there? If you send the same CV’s and applications no wonder you don’t get any. Every job you apply for should be different. Sometimes not even that helps. You also need some luck. Or you have a large connection circle. But what if you don’t have neither of them. Should you educate yourself to something else where there’s work? There are jobs but never the one you’re looking for. I’m up to here with education. It’s a job or an internship I want. There is no other option.

Last time I had an internship was in 2012 and even that was only for 2 weeks. After that I have nothing. The problem is, there seem to be too many people doing creative work which is the one I’m interesting in. Especially photography but there’s no work for someone like me. I’ve started to think I’ll never become a pro. Even photography itself has become boring. Maybe I should just have it as a hobby. Why bother getting better if no one even wants to give you an internship? The studies in Helsinki Design School hasn’t helped at all. That was a lot of nonsense. They just wanted to cash in from students. Don’t get me wrong. I did get something out of it. But when it comes to work, nada. At least I did something and met new people.

That something can’t last forever though. Honestly I’m getting tired of it. I’m not getting younger and soon no one wants to hire me. First of all, I’m been out of the work environment for too long and secondly I’m getting too old for this shit (turning 39 this June) Even if I’m that old, I’m not very confident finding anything. You should never lose hope but at the moments I’m close to it. I’m going to a career coaching course next month where there’s gonna be about job searching, about your strengths and interests, among other things. I don’t know if that will help my case but at least that’s better than doing the same old things I do now.