lap top – In my world

I don’t memorise years so I don’t know what happened when. All I know is that in 10 years I haven’t accomplished nothing to brag about. When others have had career moves, families and other things they’re proud of, I’ve just hung on. But I’ve learned to enjoy the small things because big things only disappoint. If I went to a school reunion I would feel like a failure because I haven’t done anything. I wouldn’t even go. Some people think they need to do something special so they can call them living life. I have never needed to go to some other place to find myself. Whatever finding yourself means. Anyway, the point with this post is going down the memory lane. I got this idea from a post on Instagram.

2010
I studied graphic design in a 2-year education. This was the 2nd year. That’s all of that year.

2011
I graduated from the graphic design education. This was the last year we went to Lapland to ski. I didn’t know it would be the last.

2012
My mother was diagnosed with cancer which was a big chocker. She got treatment and went through operations. There were still hope she would win the decease. The year was a lot of that so I don’t remember anything else. Oh, besides I got an internship in a local newspaper for two weeks as a photographer. Even if my mother was sick she was still concerned about me finding a job.

2013
This year was the most difficult time for me and my family. Mother told us her cancer couldn’t be cured. The doctor had done everything but nothing helped. Soon she got worse and maybe two weeks (or a week) at the hospice she was gone. That Christmas was the worse.

2014
This year I started this blog. I did write occasionally in 2013 but 2014 was the year I really started it. I also studied photography at Helsinki Design School.

2015
I finished photography education. I realised I didn’t want to do photography like a pro after all so it was time to think about something else once again.

2016
I found a web design education that lasted a year. I applied and got in. I wrote a blog about my education which is called ‘My Web Design Haven’. I don’t write it anymore but here it is. The education included on-the-job learning where you should find clients by yourself. Luckily I found at least one. That was hard because coding is not my favourite thing but luckily the client was very understanding. I got good feedback from the client as well.

2017
There was another on the job learning and this time we had to have at least 3 clients. I found them but only two of them was serious. This was the time I really started to think about entrepreneurship. I really liked the thought of not having to go anywhere and I could choose my own time. To pass the education we had to have a presentation of our client work in front of 3 valuators. It was really nerve-wracking. In the end, I passed and graduated. I only had one job interview but that’s something I don’t want to remember. I went to my first ever live concert that summer and that was Robbie Williams. I wasn’t sure I would go but I’m glad I did.

2018
At the beginning of that year, I got accepted to a course about entrepreneurship. It was mostly done online but we had some meetings too. The hardest part was writing a business plan. After that course, I decided to apply to Helsinki Design School again. This time in graphic design. I applied to it twice and the 2nd time I got in. My plan was to add graphic design to my services if I would become an entrepreneur.

2019
I was on a plane for the first time in my life. I and dad went to the Canarian Islands. I got through the graphic design education. This is where I began to rethink about entrepreneurship and I’m still doubting. I applied for a job in something else but the interview was just that and nothing else. I hate it when I have to assume I didn’t get the job. Again they didn’t give me an answer. But I didn’t want the job anyway.

2020
Then there’s this year. I’m getting a new laptop because my old one has Windows 7 and they won’t update that anymore. I’m changing brands as well. It’s a Mac which I’ve used before so it’s nothing new. Then there’s the concert by Elton John at the end of summer. That’s all I know so far.

So there you have it. Ten years of nothing is not entirely true. I did do things so it’s not all boring. Both happy and sad things but nothing to brag about on social media and such. Where I will be ten years later is a question I don’t want to reply to. I don’t even know what I’m doing at the weekend. No one really knows what will happen in 10 years. It’s only wishful thinking.

Material things doesn’t make you happy but material things are useful. Like my most-prized possession.

In 2008 I bought a Canon EOS D40 SLR camera. I wanted to take better pictures. I used to have a film camera but that broke down. It was more of an amateur camera anyway. A camera you take on holidays and stuff. I wanted a camera where I could take more professional photos. Even though I’ve had that camera this long, I still don’t really know how to take photos with it. Sometimes I lose hope that I will never get any good. Maybe the camera is still too difficult to handle. I try to take picture of movement but it always seem the become blurry. It irritates me that I still can’t do it. I just lose hope I want to give up.
I was on a cruise and there were this dance show. I got quite depressed I couldn’t take any decent photos of it. I thought, I better just shoot things that stay still. I was so disappointed. I’ve got this love/hate relationship with my camera. My brain tells me, ‘you can’t do anything with your camera. Just give up’ No matter what settings I try, nothing is working. No matter how many photography courses or advice online I find, it doesn’t seem to stay in my brain. I don’t want to take amateur photos to fill my photo archive. I want to take photos I can sell. That’s one of the reasons I applied to Helsinki Design School. To learn from people who knows about photography and the business itself. Learn from the best. I hope to get more analysed feedback and to learn new things.

My other most-prized possession is my bike. I bought that with my own money. I cycled since I was 3 so I’ve had a few bikes. This one was the first that I could call my own. You find it in this photo. I love cycling. Feeling the wind in my hair. It’s my convertible. Peddling really fast and then just enjoy the ride. I never drive in the winter but when spring arrives I take a bike ride somewhere. As the summer goes by I take longer trips. Since I don’t have a driver’s license, my bike is the only transportation I have. I’ve had a few accidents with it but it has never been serious. With a bike you can go almost anywhere. It’s also much faster than with a car. It’s good exercise as well.

The 3rd is my lap top. I planned for years to buy one. I’ve occupied my parents PC so it was a relief for them that I bought a lap top. Well, it’s actually my dad that bought it. But it’s still mine. I’ve had it almost 3 years. It feels like I’ve only got it a year or so. How time flies. People usually take their lap tops with them but I don’t. I’ve only used the battery a few times. I don’t even know where I put it. I don’t want to be too attached to gadgets. Like some people do. My lap top has Photoshop where I edit my photos. I have Windows 7. That’s much better than Windows 8 that looks like a mobile solution. It’s a computer and not an iPhone for crying out loud. My lap top is also the one where I write this blog.

So my most-prized possession are material things. Not all material things are bad. It just depends what you used them for.