Balm for the wounds

feather
Made in Canva

Back online on the computer. You get a lot of things undone when you don’t have internet connection on your computer. When you get it back it’s a balm for the wounds. There are so many things you need to do online so you can’t really do much when it doesn’t work. Like paying bills or sending important documents and that kind of stuff. Internet is not only for fun, you know. When you can’t get online, spam gathers in your email inbox as well.

Another balm to your wounds is watching movies and especially when there’s a lot of extra footage. That’s what The Hobbit DVD’s has. I’ve already seen them but watching them again it feels like I haven’t really seen them. I know I have but it still feels like a new thing. Actually, there is only one I haven’t seen and that was about Thranduil. The reason is Lee Pace. That man is so gorgeous and especially that smile of his. Um, I was saying. Watching those behind the scenes footages I taught me a lot about movie making. I have some experience of that from school but that was nothing compared to the movie-making business. Movies, in general, is a great balm for the wounds. One of the reasons why I buy DVD’s and Blu-rays are for the extra footage in them. You don’t get that from Netflix or any other place like that. Unless someone had downloaded them on Youtube.

Probably the strongest balm to your wounds is music. It has helped me get through happy and tough times. When my mother died, listening to music was the cure. Especially Duran Duran. Without them, grieving would have been much harder. I can even concentrate better when there’s music is in the background. If there would be silent I would be listening to the smallest sounds and nothing would get done. Everyone should have a balm that makes them feel better. If reading a book is your thing, you should do that. Any balm to your soul and inner peace is good. As long as it’s healthy so smoking and drinking is not an option.

Juxtapose of a Gemini

black and white sheep

As a Gemini, I have two sides. One is the quiet and observant introvert and the other is an opinionated and honest individual. But only when I’m around people I know. It’s a juxtapose of a Gemini. Most people don’t realise there is another side of me. But they don’t usually bother to get to know me better to find out. If I act differently from the usual people are surprised. I do have that ‘crazy’ side but I only show it to the right people. I might look serious but I can be silly too. It just needs to be the right moment and mood. When I’m comfortable with someone I show that other side to them.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s an age thing but recently I thought about past happenings. People I met and so on. Especially experiences from the opposite sex. I won’t go into detail since it’s personal stuff. Let’s just say, it feels like I attract idiots to myself. It’s either guys I don’t feel drawn to or it’s guys that are idiots. Mostly the latter. No wonder I fall for men I can’t have. It saves me from heartache. I never meet anyone like Tom Hiddleston or Lee Pace. OK, I don’t know them for real but they seem decent and not arrogant at all. But there’s is no such men in real life. They probably wouldn’t even look my way. Some men expect women to be like models but the men themselves look like they’re from a horror movie. It’s all true, good men are hard to find. They either taken, gay or idiots. If I used something like Tinder I would probably be rejected there too. Some might be scared to be dying alone but I don’t stress about it. Once you’ve seen the promising land, single life, there is no turn back. That’s better then be cheated on or be dumped because of the guy found someone much younger than you. At least that’s what you read about. It doesn’t mean it would happen to me.

I’m more than meets the eye but it’s always been about looks. Even in friendships. From my experience, girls especially, are quite judgemental. If you don’t do girly stuff, you’re out of their circle. This is just my point of view. It doesn’t mean it’s entirely true. I met women who aren’t like that at all. But when you’re a teenager, these things affect you. I guess my former classmates were self-observed. They probably didn’t even have bad skin. If girls don’t judge you, then the opposite sex will. Being yourself isn’t enough. You also have to look like any other girl/women. I don’t envy teenage girls of today. With this internet thing and all. It’s a sensitive age where this kind of things can affect you. It doesn’t help that these celebrities date or marry beautiful people. Boys see these girls/women and they grow up thinking this is what women should look like. I think it’s a bit strange how these celebs find these people and even marry them. How could they know they find the one? Do they choose them because they don’t want to be judged by other people? I just think it’s isn’t entirely possible to find the one among beautiful people. It could even be me. What I’m saying is, looks aren’t everything but in my world, it seems to be. I’m a likeable person and I care about others but I don’t get any credit for that. But because I look the way I do, I get overlooked.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If someone judges you by your appearance, they only look down on you. People like that are not worth having. It’s really their loss if they don’t want to be your friend or date you because of the way you look. I used to feel so worthless and unwanted. The good thing about getting older is that you stop caring what others think. I’m happy for who I am and I don’t need to change because someone has a certain formula to go by. I don’t have to act or look like any other female. I’m a tomboy for crying out loud. This post, in the beginning, might sound I felt down but that was an hour ago. That’s a juxtapose of a Gemini, I change my mind all the time. What I don’t change is my way of looking at the world. I try to stay positive even if it’s sometimes hard. I wish others would think more about deep things in this superficial universe. There are more important things to care about than how you look to other people. All that matters is that you feel good about yourself and you’re proud of who you are.

sherlock quote

Abrupt for a moment

did you know text

On Facebook there is a section called ‘Did you know’ There are random questions you can answer. You can also add questions yourself. So if I could abrupt you for a moment. I’ve collected 20 question below. It’s quite long so be prepared. So here we go, as The Joker says in ‘The Dark Knight’

1. The person I’d love to invite to my birthday party is…
Quite convenient because my birthday is in a month. I wouldn’t have a party. Maybe a party for two and that would definitely be with Tom Hiddleston 😉 And/Or Lee Pace.

2. Beard or no beard?
It really depends on the man. I prefer stubble the most though.

3. If I could be famous for anything, it would be…
A web designer or photographer.

4. I’ve never been able to correctly say the word…
Photographer. It always sounds quite awful when I say it out loud. Failure is also a difficult word to pronounce.

5. A dream trip of mine is…
New Zealand. Since I saw Lord of the rings. It’s quite expensive so it might never happen.

6. My favourite sport(s) to watch…
Ice hockey and tennis. I haven’t watched the latter lately though. I’ve seen ice hockey live a lot of times. The atmosphere is amazing.

7. If you want to make me happy, just give me…
Chocolate. Dark mostly would be good. It can be Toblerone or Finnish chocolate from Fazer.

8. I’d love to be an expert in…
I’m not really an expert in anything so it would be nice to be great at something. Probably in web design or something else creative.

9. When I can’t sleep, I think about…
A lot of things which is the reason I can’t sleep

10. I’m a huge fan of…
Music, movies, crime shows, British comedy.

11. I feel faint when…
When I see Tom Hiddleston and Lee Pace. It’s not just their appearance but also their personalities.

12. I deserve the award for…
My tolerance for idiots. They seem to be everywhere.

13. For me, there’s no better therapy than…
Writing. Fiction and blogging. Music is also helpful.

14. My first scare was…
I saw a real moose when I was 2 years old.

15. If I could bring anyone back to life, I would bring back…
My mother and my sister. Things would be different if they had been around a bit longer.

16. Thanks to the Internet, I have been able to…
Meet people from different parts of the world. That’s cheaper than travelling.

17. My hidden talent is…
I can make different sounds and talk in accents. Or some kind of accent that is. It might not sound real but still.

18. The subject that I was bad at in secondary school was…
Math and I still do. I had remedial teaching but that didn’t help much. I have a mild dyscalculia so numbers can be confusing. Especially when it comes to counting. I have to think really hard so I rather not do Math at all because it just stresses me out.

19. If I found myself on a desert island, I would like to be with…
Shall I say it again? OK, Tom Hiddleston and/or Lee Pace.

20. A good excuse for eating ice cream is…
Every excuse is good. I eat ice cream all year around. But of course in the summer when it’s hot, it’s the best reason.