Tag: Life

Repost: What I value in friendships

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friendships
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I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences, I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it, so I know what I’m talking about.

The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend, they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.

I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree, but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t makeup rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour, and frankly, I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did, they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty, so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.

Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret, but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person, it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school, and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.

I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker, though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people. It’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be on a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you, and you can say anything to them without having to worry; they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people, I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.

Old posts of friendship
Partner in crime
Nothing on the horizon
Hey, fake person

Originally posted: Published 2018/06/25 at 9:52 pm

When all is said

Mia4 Comments
Faded
Source: Free photo

I haven’t blogged in a long time. To make it short. Life has come in the way. I’m washed out. I also have nothing to write about. It feels like all has been said. Not many care about the things I write about. Maybe someone. A lot of the followers probably don’t read. Only follow. It just feels there is no point using my energy to blogging. I rather do something else instead. Which I have.

There has been ice hockey on TV. Then doing the assignment for the UX/UI design course. Then driving lessons. I won’t get the drivers license for my birthday (June 2), so that plan failed. But it’s better to learn to drive before going to the test. It’s getting better. The driving, that is. My dad got his first corona vaccine this week, so I went with him. I’ll get mine this Sunday. I hate needles, though. Things also went bad. Both of my bikes have something wrong with the back tire, so I can’t use either of them. The other bike is my mum’s and I just had it fixed, but now there is something wrong with it. Maybe it’s the vent or something. I walked all winter, so I might just continue with that.

I probably forgot to mention something, but I’m watching World Championships in ice hockey where Finland is playing against Italy. So have a good day and carry on.

Music for my ears

Mia4 Comments
pastel colour earphones on pastel background
Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

Music makes my life worth living. It also weakens other noises around you. Like the next-door-neighbour talking or just making other noises. Every other noise other than music disturbs me. I keep the radio on while I sleep, but if I hear talking before I do, it annoys me. I listen to music every day, so you can say it’s my life. I have Spotify Premium, so I can listen to it without ads. Those are annoying. It cost 10.99 euros per month, but that’s better than nothing. I can listen to songs that aren’t played on the radio. All those nostalgic music tunes. Love it.

I still buy CD’s from time to time, because I like the covers and the leaflets that go with them. Without music, movies and TV series wouldn’t be the same. Imagine them without sound. I can’t even. I usually don’t listen to classical music, but when it comes to drama, then it’s the best. My favourite music is 1980s music. We have a radio station that only plays 80s music. Sometimes they play too much of the same though, which can be a bit annoying. They have spoiled a few songs that I used to love, but now I don’t. One of them is ‘Living on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi. Maybe the radio station doesn’t have the right to play anything else. They do play others song by them too, but especially that song. When I was 18, I went to drivers school and thought I would have a car, so I could blast my favourite songs. But I didn’t finish it. Now when I’m in driving school again and when I get the licence, I probably won’t play music that loud. At least not so everyone else can hear. I hate it when young people drive, and noise is blasting out of their cars. It’s not music, only annoying noise. There are differences between noise and music, you know.

I hardly listen to music outside with headphones, because then you won’t hear the birds singing. You see people with headphones on while they walk or cycle, and they don’t hear or see anything. It can be dangerous to walk like that in traffic. People walk around holding their phones in their hand, and even young kids do that. First of all, it looks silly and secondly you can get hit by a car if you only concentrate on your phone. They usually listen to music, and they don’t stop when they change the music. If I look at my mobile, I stop walking and then put it away. Mobile can’t be that important, so you want to risk your life for it. If you have a death wish, then just go ahead. Music is my life, but I don’t want to jeopardize my health with it. Not forgetting losing my hearing. It’s still good because I haven’t spoilt it in my youth by listening to music too loud. My hearing is so good. I can hear things that aren’t there. Even in a middle of a conversation, I can hear noises in the background. I don’t know if it’s because my hearing is so good or that I’m an introvert.

Music has been part of my life since I was a child. Listening to it and playing instruments. Not good enough to perform with one, but still playing for fun. I’ve tried a lot if different once, but there is one that I really would love to try. That is playing the violin. The only string instrument I have tried is the acoustic guitar, and that was difficult. So the violin must be even harder to learn to play. Maybe one day, I get to try one. Listening to music is more my thing, and I can’t live without it.