Throw a dart at empty promises

July 9, 2018 Mia5 Comments

Life is like a TV commercial, promises that are said to help you. But the truth is they’re just a shell with no substance. You should do this and you should do that and a miracle will happen. I’ve had so many disappointments in my life I just want to throw a dart at empty promises. One of the promises I dislike the most is these networking channels like LinkedIn. I’ve been there for 5 years and I only have 7 connections. I think it’s just a place where popular people get noticed. Maybe the service just isn’t for Finnish people. Our country is too small for this kind of thing. If you don’t have connections from your past, there is no use for it. Then you hear stories from people who actually have to find a job through LinkedIn and you just think who did they bribe because that person must be really lucky. It’s just too good to be true. LinkedIn in a job search is useless. I will only keep it as a memo for my past educations and work experiences to remind myself. It doesn’t matter if my CV is in this service or sending paper versions to employers. The result will still be the same, no job.

The other empty promises are education. They say it’s important because you have a better chance to find a job. That’s just BS. All these qualifications are useless. You can have hundreds of them but still, no one wants to give you a chance. The same with internships. If you get one you can get your foot between the door, you might get a job there in the future. Yeah right. All you get is a good luck and they shut the door behind you. Then when you get older, it’s even harder to get “your foot between the door” You don’t even have a look in. The the only use you have for your qualifications is keeping you sane. If I wasn’t used to being unemployed, I would be worried and feel unwanted. Lucky for me, I’m alone and I don’t have to support anyone. It’s different for those who have a family. Some of them can’t even afford food. It’s really difficult to stay motivated when there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. All these tips about how to find a job are empty promises. I’ve never got anything by chance. I’m never in the right place at the right place. There are times I just want to give up and live on well-fare the rest of my life. But I want to have meaning with my life. I want a job and not become one of those lowlives who doesn’t even bother looking for a job. But because I’m not suitable for companies images, I don’t get anything.

You shouldn’t give hope to a person who’s been disappointed so many times. Nothing is worse than empty promises. Telling them to be patient doesn’t help either. How much patience must a person have anyway? Will it take years, decades or never? Politicians are known for their empty promises but it shouldn’t happen in daily life. You learn from empty promises by not getting your hopes up. That’s probably the only good thing that comes out of it. If it’s even good. Next someone promises me something, I’m just gonna ignore them because once you lose trust, it’s hard to get it back. Sometimes it’s gone for good.

Embrace yourself

July 7, 2018 MiaLeave a comment

two different sneakers

I’ve always been different. I never wanted to be the same way as everyone else. I was a tomboy who wasn’t afraid to get their hands dirty and I’m still the same. Everyone should embrace what they are. Unfortunately, there are people in society who doesn’t appreciate differences. In some countries, you can’t walk around in peace without someone stalking you or becoming violent towards you. Especially if your sexuality is not heterosexual. It’s a shame because we’re all human with wants and needs. No one should be penalised for being different. You should embrace yourself for that no matter what others might think.

My parents never questioned me about never going out like other people. Other teenagers had parties and had a lot of friends. If they would have I would I told them, would they rather see me meet the wrong crowd and get into drugs. I don’t think so. They should have been glad I wasn’t like everyone else. Luckily, I was lucky with parents. They never tried to change me. They wouldn’t have succeeded anyway because I was always strong-willed. I embrace myself for being me. Seeing how other people behave I’m glad I’m not like them.
For example, today I saw this young guy being so drunk, he couldn’t even stand. His friends had to carry him. I would be so embarrassed to have a friend like that who can’t control his drinking. I never understood how someone can drink alcohol so much they can’t even walk straight.

I’m also not like other women. That sounds in my head like the video ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson. The character he plays tells his girl he’s not like the other guys and then he turns into a werewolf. It’s not like that. Except if you upset me, I don’t know what I’ll do to you 😉 Seriously though. I prefer wearing jeans and sneakers to skirts and high heels. Some women stress about not finding Mr Right but I don’t. I don’t care about drama and I rather be alone than trying to please another person. I don’t need a man to be happy. Besides, I don’t like just anybody. I have standards. Anyway, all this women should do this and do that, is so demeaning. Like the reason for women to be here is to please the opposite sex. For some having a family is the main goal in life but not for everyone. The meaning of life to me is doing stuff you like without having to depend on someone else. Maybe I would have a different look on life if I had men in a queue behind me. But since I don’t, my priorities lay elsewhere. This quote says it all.

I’m also a sports fan. I don’t watch it because of the way some athletes look. I don’t care about the glamour side of sport. Some women think sport is boring but I think it’s exciting. Especially when Finland plays. Nothing beats the feeling of seeing people giving it all. Sport brings people together. When I meet other women, I can never talk about sport to them. I can do girl talk but most of it doesn’t interest me. I just can’t relate to any of what women talk about. That’s why I feel more comfortable being around men. Sometimes it feels safer to be around other women though. The myth about women not liking their men watching sport doesn’t apply to me. If you don’t like sport then don’t watch it. Do something else that interests you. No matter what marital status the man is, they should be allowed to watch sport without having to hear nagging from a women.

Embrace yourself for who you are. Be happy to be alive. Things could be worse. We usually think of negative things about ourselves and forget all the good things. I wouldn’t want to be a person who can’t think for themselves. Common sense is a lost art. If you do stupid things, there are consequences. If you’re not careful, your life will be short and that’s not the meaning of life. I rather do things carefully than taking a big risk and lose it all. I’m planning to be on this planet for a very long time. I want to be different and not trying to be something I’m not. Other people just need to deal with it.

What I value in friendships

June 25, 2018 Mia2 Comments

I’m old enough to know what I value in friendships. I haven’t been that lucky with that. From my past experiences I’ve learned what I don’t like in a friend. I’ve written about friendships before on this blog. You can find a few links about it at the end of this post. I have a few precedents of it so I know what I’m talking about.

The most important thing is honesty. A person who pretends to be my friend and then find someone else has no place in my life. I had a friend in school like that. There were days when she chose that other girl to spend her time with. I was just a substitute when she had a disagreement with the other one. With honesty, I don’t mean you should judge someone by the way they dress or something like that. Honesty is telling you they have another friend and not pretending they want to be your friend. I rather be told they don’t want to spend time with me than being ignored. It hurts more than honest words. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend they shouldn’t pretend to be so. Fake friends are easy to find. It’s the honest ones you have to search for with cats and dogs. If you had bad experiences of friendships, it’s no wonder you don’t want to get close to anyone or let people in your life.

I value respect in a friend. Someone who accepts you for who you are. A true friend doesn’t tell others how to dress or trying to look a certain way. Friends should respect others opinions and don’t start a fight over something they don’t agree with. We can’t always agree but you shouldn’t stop being a friend because they don’t agree with you. They shouldn’t talk crap behind your back. A true friend doesn’t make up rumours. I don’t know if my so-called friends made up some rumour and frankly I don’t care. They had no respect for me because if they did they wouldn’t have ignored me. A friend who spreads rumours is no friend. Maybe their own life is so empty so they have to make up things. Respect is also about supporting a friend in their life choices. If it’s about careers or relationships. A friend doesn’t put you down and saying you’re doing it wrong or you don’t have what it takes. Being supportive is true friendship.

Trustworthiness is important in any relationship. If you can’t trust a friend, you can’t really be a real friend. I don’t remember if I ever told anyone a secret but that’s not the only way to lose trust in a person. If a friend pretends to be a friend but still doesn’t have any respect for you, you can’t confide in that person with anything. The risk can be that the person tells the other friend what you have told your friend. So you keep things to yourself instead. Once you lose trust in a person it’s difficult to get it back. Sometimes it’s lost for good. It’s better to find new friends than trying to get the trust back. I’m happy I didn’t need to have these people in my life. I went to a Finnish Swedish school and when I got a Finnish only school, I didn’t see the old classmates anymore. I haven’t had any problems like this in my adult life. I’m just more careful when it comes to friendships.

I don’t deny my past experiences haven’t affected my life because they have. It hasn’t made me weaker though. Actually, it’s the opposite. The problem is not about trusting people, it’s about finding someone who has the same interests. Or at least have something in common with. I haven’t found anyone like that in real life. They always seem to be in a different wavelength than me. A true friend is someone you can confide in. They don’t judge you and you can say anything to them without having to worry they don’t want to continue the friendship. When I meet new people I always have to think before speaking so I don’t say too much. I wish I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Since I never had a friend who stands by me no matter what happens, I don’t really know what that’s like. Maybe I find that kind of friendship when I’m really old. Friendships don’t see age. In life, you never know. A friend can appear from anywhere. In this case, patience is a virtue.

Old posts of friendship
Partner in crime
Nothing on the horizon
Hey, fake person