Stubborn as a mule

mule figure in stone

Zoomorphic sounds like a zoo with terrifying animals. But when I looked it up, it’s not. I like metaphors, so I chose to see myself as stubborn as a mule. But I could also be a scaredy-cat because I’m scared of doing anything brave. Cats can also be stubborn. In some things, no one wouldn’t know I’m stubborn because I give up easily. If I had been bolder, things would be different. I’ve strong-willed when it comes to choices. You can’t make me do things by force. I do them when I feel like it. For example, if you say to me to clean the flat, I won’t do it because someone says I should. I do it when I want. I need to have the motivation to do it. I haven’t studied for occupation because there are jobs in them. I’ve studied things I wanted to. My parents never told me what to study. They have suggested things, but I’ve always followed my guts. I wouldn’t be happy if I had to do something I didn’t like. It hasn’t paid off, though. I instead am without a job than be in a position I don’t like. No matter how big the salary is.

You need to be stubborn to find a job. If you get rejected, you don’t stop searching. But I don’t have that in me. I’m both a stubborn mule and a scaredy-cat. I wish I was brave as a lion. I won’t hold my breath to get any contact from the companies I’ve sent the open applications to. I’m gonna move on. I’m not sure what to do, but I’ll let it be for later. I’m stubborn, so setbacks won’t make me give up. It’s the world that is in a hurry, not me.

From a circle to a spiral

Made in Canva

So back to work on Monday won’t happen. Now it’s pushed back to August 2. Oh, well at least I don’t have to go anywhere. There is no summer holiday after all. Only ‘holiday’ as usual. How things change, from a circle to a spiral. The circle being the straightforward thing. While the spiral is not knowing where to go or do. Nothing new will happen. Things will be the same as they always been before I had this part-time job. I won’t get any job experience. A lot of people have needed to change things because of the coronavirus. At least I’m financially secured so I have no problems with that. Now I can concentrate on things I usually do. I don’t get paid for it though. Right now it’s good to live in Finland. The coronavirus here hasn’t been as powerful as in other countries. Even the restaurants and other places are being opened next week. I fear there will be more sick people after they open them. We can only hope this virus won’t be around forever.

I have always had trouble concentrating on one thing at the time. Even if I hear a sound elsewhere, I get distracted for a while. I also have different thoughts in my head. It feels like a spiral in my mind. I can have one thought and then it changes to something else. It’s like my brain has ADHD. I have a mild ADD (never officially tested) but I don’t know if that’s the only reason. Even when I write this blog I get distracted. I could write one thing and then the subject would change to something else. I do try to stay on the subject though. My mind is mostly more spiral than a circle. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I have a vivid imagination. I have a knack of making up stories, a.k.a. fiction. Sometimes I get totally in the story and forget the time. Then other times I get nothing and I get no ideas. When I do, it’s back to the spiral mind. If I didn’t, I would get bored very quickly. Days just fly by even if the days are the same because I still get things done. It might look like I don’t do anything but my mind works all the time. If that was a job I would probably have more money than I do now. I never let myself get bored and it doesn’t matter if I am because a mind needs to be in a circle once in a while.

Learning a new instrument in different ways

paint brushes in jar
Made in Canva

Instruments don’t always mean something you play tunes with. I can play a real instrument like a recorder and a piano/synthesizer with one hand but that’s not what I had in mind. I mean the instruments/tools you use in your work or hobby. Even doctors and surgeons use instruments in their jobs but they are not for playing a song with. An instrument can also be a metaphor. For example, a parent knows how to handle their kids because they have an instrument/tool for it. They have a way to calm their kids and so on. The instruments I’m gonna write about is things mostly creative people use in their work.

From a writer point of view, a pencil and paper can be the instrument. Maybe not when blogging because then technical devices are being used. Or maybe someone does in some way but I don’t. When I write a story then I use pencil and paper because I can think better about the plot. Things that are hand-written is pretty rare these days. Even letters are written with some other instrument. The problem with writing by hand is the slowness and that your hand get tired. Sometimes I write on the laptop because it’s faster. I actually like writing on the keyboard. It’s easier to find mistakes because the computer is correcting automatically. And if there are words you don’t know how to spell, you can find them online. You can still do that when you write by hand but not that quickly.

handwritten

Photographers, web and graphic designers also have instruments. Camera, photo editing etc. Adobe programs are the most used. It really depends on what kind of instruments you need and what you want to work with. I know Photoshop, Lightroom, InDesign, Illustrator, Premiere Pro and Dreamweaver. Now I’m trying to learn After Effect where you can make animated stuff. It’s much harder to learn than I thought. It’s like video editing but more confusing. I still don’t really get it. I’ve tried to do tutorials but I haven’t got any decent results. But it’s still new to the whole thing so maybe I get it when I use it. People who are using it like pros and their work are great. I probably won’t use it to anything but it would be nice to at least know something about it. I’m not bravado enough to become a motion designer but it’s a skill there is no harm to have. I want to know how to play multiply instruments when it comes to design. I like to be as versatile as possible. It actually goes with the most things I do. I would get bored if I didn’t have a change from time to time.