I haven’t blogged since Monday but even if I’ve been absent, I’ve still been here. Like in real life, if I don’t have anything to say I don’t say anything. A lot of people think I’m absent if I don’t speak. I’m there but I observe. That’s an introvert way. I can be doing something but I still listen. Except if I write something where I need all my senses. I can’t, for example, listen and write at the same time. I can’t be a journalist because I can’t concentrate on two things at once. That’s the only time I can’t multitask. Other times I can do other things at once. Listening to music and writing this blog, like I do right now. I don’t think I could do anything if I didn’t have something in the background. Of course, the music shouldn’t be too loud. Loud noises or talking distract me and I get agitated.
Sometimes being absent from all the stimulations around you is good. Mine is being in nature and only the birds singing. Unfortunately, there seem to be people everywhere. You could be in a solitude place and then a human walks by and spoils the silence. In the country, there could be more silent places but in the city not so much. Then any silent is welcome and you take what you can. In Finland, there are places where you can be absent from the stress because nature is always close. I’m glad I’m not addicted to smartphones. Leaving my phone at home isn’t that hard. I wouldn’t know what the time is but I wouldn’t get be disappointed if I left it at home. When you go to nature, you should be absent from the internet and concentrate on other things. The life is out there and not on your phone. Some people seem to have forgotten that. I was offline all weekend when I went to Stockholm and it was the most relaxing time I’ve had in a long time.
Being absent from everything for a while do you good. If it’s travelling or a short trip to the beach (or whatever you fancy) You can also be absent but still here. Or maybe it’s just a skill some people have. Either way, getting away from your daily life once in a while helps you keep on going.
Describing yourself is the hardest thing. Especially when it comes to job searching. The career coaching I’m attending at the moment, we’re talking about CV’s and how to make one. I for one don’t really know what my strengths are. I can do a lot of things but I don’t know how to put them into words. We Finns are not used to toot our own horn. We don’t want to brag about ourselves and our skills. We think we sound too self-absorbed if we do. It’s also because of jealousy of other people. Succesful people are usually seen as arrogant because they’re confident and proud of their work. That’s something some Finns can’t stand.
It’s a blessing and a curse to be as versatile as I am. I’m sure some of you out there who are multitaskers know what I mean. I’m not best at anything but good in lot of things. That’s a blessing.
The curse is, I don’t know what I want to do more. That’s what makes job searching so difficult for me. I don’t know what I really want. There’s a lot but I can’t describe it what it is. So when I showed my CV to the coach and she said I should write what kind of photographer I am (that’s the main thing for me) and what are my 5 most important skills in that area. That’s makes me go hmm, I don’t know. I don’t even know what those are. I can’t rate myself like that. No one has really told me. It’s much easier to know what you do on your free time and what you like then. But you can’t make a living of it.
What I do know is that I’m good at listening. That’s a rare gift. People can talk about anything and they think I don’t hear. But I actually do. I observe. I can concentrate on my own things but I still hear what people talk about. I don’t eavesdrop on every word but I still hear. When my mother told me to do something (chores and such) and I was doing something else, she thought I couldn’t hear her but I did. It could get a little annoying to be disturbed if I were in a middle of a story I were writing. Just because I do my own, doesn’t mean I become hard of hearing.
It’s so much easier to know what you can’t do. You try to be positive but the negative thoughts come creeping in anyway. I could give a long list about things I can’t do the top of my head. You just have to find something positive out of the negative and you’ll be out of the water. And when you do, you should not be afraid to toot your own horn because you deserve it.